Previously on Gossip Girl, Jenny (Taylor Momsen) tried to become one of Blair’s ladies-in-waiting; a sexy art dealer name Bex flirted with Rufus (Matthew Settle); Blair (Leighton Meester) cashed in her V-card with Chuck (Ed Westwick) but pretended to with Nate (Chace Crawford); Serena (Blake Lively) and Dan (Penn Badgley) had sex for the first time.
Scandal is in the air tonight on Gossip Girl. Serena is in like the fanciest Duane Reade I’ve ever seen, buying pregnancy tests. One of Gossip Girl’s minions snaps a photo of her, and it immediately gets distributed everywhere. Serena herself finds out about it from her little bro Eric (Connor Paolo). Almost simultaneously, the entire Humphrey clan sees the photo on GossipGirl.net. Rufus sits Dan down for some fatherly advice, but Dan says that he’s going to support Serena with whatever she decides because he loves her. That’s a recurring theme in tonight’s Gossip Girl. Dan loves Serena. He luuuurves her. Geddit?
Dan runs off to school give his support to Serena and tell her that he loves her. But she just says that she’s not pregnant and is late meeting Blair, so she runs off.
Jenny meets Blair and her multicultural posse on the steps of the Met, but she has to jump through hoops to make it onto the vaunted upper steps. She decides she doesn’t want to put up with Blair’s crap, so she leaves. Serena shows up at the Met, and we find out that it’s Blair whose period is late, and Serena was just buying the pregnancy test for her.
In the school courtyard, Blair and Nate canoodle together. Nate asks her to come with him to visit his dad in rehab, which makes Blair’s heart melt. Chuck Bass witnesses all of this unhappily from around the corner.
The Humphrey kids come home with the good news that Rufus is not going to be a grandfather. Rufus rejoices, but Dan stresses out that Serena’s reaction to his telling her that he loves her was less than favorable.
Serena goes over to Blair, who gives her the brush off, making Serena’s eyes get all big and sad. So, while at Dan’s having a romantic dinner, Serena finally gets it off her chest that Blair might be pregnant with Chuck’s child. Of course, Jenny overhears all of this.
The next day, Serena goes over to Chuck’s to tell him about Blair. But she finds out that Blair’s really been keeping her in the dark about her sex life, because she had sex with Nate shortly after she did it with Chuck. So then, who’s the baby-daddy? Serena does a lot of confronting in tonight’s episode. Next up, she goes over to Blair’s to confront her about Nate. Blair tells her to get lost, ignoring the fact that Serena took a social bullet for her. Eleanor Waldorf comes by see what’s wrong, and is concerned that Blair is back to her bulimic ways. Finally, Blair decides to take the test and finds out that she’s not pregnant. She calls Serena and the two make up the only way two teenage girls are capable of making up, with squealing girlishly.
Blair tells Chuck that she’s not pregnant, and to stay the hell away from her. Chuck is not to be stopped, however. He decides to text Gossip Girl with the rumor that B, not S, is the one who is with child, and happened to be sleeping with two guys too. Man, Chuck has mad texting skills. I’m impressed.
The cellphones are buzzing once more, but this time, it’s all about Blair Bear. Jenny runs into Nate, who asks her if she knows if the rumors are true or not. Jenny gives up the goods, so Nate goes after Chuck and throws him against his limo. Nate tells him to stay the hell away from him, which devastates Chuck because we all know that Nate is his true love.
Blair goes over to Nate’s to make amends, but mends are not to be made. Blair does find out that Jenny was the tattle, however, and deduces that Jenny found out from Dan who found out from Serena, which means that B and S are on the outs again.
Blair catches Jenny trying to sit with the multicultural posse, and tries to get rid of her. But the rest of the posse acts swiftly to dethrone Queen B. Blair will never forgive Jenny for going to Nate, but she promises that she will ruin Jenny as well if she leaves her alone right now. Jenny grows a backbone, and turns her back anyway. Now, she gets to sit on the steps of the Met while Blair is an outcast. All is not right with the world.
Blair congratulates Chuck on completely destroying her socially. But he tells her in no uncertain terms that she is a filthy ho and no one, including him, will ever want her. He’s definitely lying, though, and the torn up look he gets on his face after she leaves is proof. Devastated, Blair goes home and begs her mother to let her go to France for a semester. Eleanor reluctantly agrees, seeing how upset her daughter is.
Serena asks Dan if he told Jenny the secret. He says he didn’t, and she can trust him because he loves her. Yay, he finally said it, after trying to all episode! But all she can say is okay, so he leaves upset. Serena freaks out to her little brother Eric, who armchair-psychologizes that she has trust issues with men who say “I love you” because of their mother’s penchant for jumping in and out of marriages.
Little J is feeling out her new position with the multicultural posse. Kati and Isabel suggest a shopping binge at Barney’s. Jenny at first says that she can’t go because she has to return books to the library. But one of the girls who looks like she’s making a play to become the new Queen B, challenges her to put on her big-girl panties. In the end, Jenny, looking like the most jaded of 14-year-olds, walks with the posse to Barney’s while an eager-beaver freshman—Jenny’s former self, really—excitedly returns the books for her.
While all this kids’ stuff is happening, Rufus decides to get back on the dating horse. He asks Bex the art dealer out, but this other pesky brunette (Bryn? Brynne?) keeps getting in the way. After an eternity of pointless misdirection, Rufus finally admits to Bex that he’s not so good at dating, so she gives him a crash course. I like that Rufus is getting back out there, but Bex is a little too glam for him.
At the end of the hour, Serena finally asks Dan why he loves her. He immediately and earnestly lists all the reasons why he loves her. And she says it back, but then leaves right away to catch Blair before she flees the country. Serena begs her to be strong and rise above the gossip, and she promises to stay by her side. And so, the best friends are together again, but you just know that Blair is not going to stay New York without a fight.
You know you love me, XOXO, Gossip Girl.
-Debbie Chang, BuddyTV Staff Writer
(Image courtesy of The CW)