About 40 minutes into tonight’s episode of Glee, I realized I wasn’t hating it. Of course, this is also about the time John Stamos entered the picture. But it had the camp factor, the ridic Brittany quotes, songs that actually progressed the story line, the touching moments. Is this the same as saying I loved it? Will it be the closest I come to saying I loved an episode of season 2? Only time will tell. 

In the meantime, let’s get to Glee-capping.

The celibacy club is back! And we have two members: Quinn (because it worked out so well for her the first time) and Rachel, with Emma as the leader — prompting me to say out loud, “She hasn’t done it with Uncle Jesse yet?!” What is wrong with this woman? Please, please, please don’t tell me it has anything to do with her pining for Will. 

Who’s not supportive of celibacy as an option? Why it’s Holly Holiday! Yep, Gwyneth Paltrow is back, and honestly, I’m happy to see her. Plus, I totally appreciate her knowledge-is-power approach for the kids when it comes to sex. Particularly since Finn thinks cucumbers can cause AIDS and Brittany thinks babies come from storks. 

Holly suggests the Jessica Seinfeld approach to sex-ed — you know, hiding the veggies (the info) in something they don’t think is healthy for them (um, songs?). Of course, Will throws that plan out the window when he walks into the choir room and is like, “Let’s talk about sex!” Subtle. 

But essentially, the whole episode was about sneaking the veggies into the food for viewers by working in the after-school special bits like how you’re having sex with everyone your partner has ever had sex with and how emotions are all tied up in sex, etc. I’d say it did a better job of sneaking in the info than, say, the likes of ABC Family’s The Secret Life of the American Teeanger. This isn’t a PSA. So, thanks, Glee

Sue-Horned-In Story Line

Meanwhile, Sue sees Schue’s ubiquitous white board word o’ the week — sexy — and assumes that means that the regional judges will be looking for more sexiness in the choirs this year. Because it makes sense for adult judges to be looking for a sexy group of high schoolers. She shares the info with Porcelain Kurt and Blaine, who thinks that the Warblers should sex up their routine.

This whole mini-story line is lost on me and totally unnecessary, except that it does instigate the sex talk between Blaine and Kurt. And no, I don’t mean the sex talk about the two of them having sex; I mean, the sex talk like learning about the birds and bees. Because that’s what teenagers do? Is teach each other about sex in a mature, informative way? Apparently, I went to the wrong high school, where we learned about sex from limericks scratched into the bathroom stalls.

Blaine then keeps the maturity coming when he goes to see Kurt’s dad about giving his son the sex talk, adding that most schools don’t even have sex ed and they certainly don’t talk about what it’s like for the gay students.  

More Hidden Veggies

Who else is making mature, informed decisions about sex? Everyone! Because these kids experience everything together — be it developing a group problem with alcohol or deciding as a group to make smart decisions about sex.

Lauren and Puck, for instance, decide they want to make a sex tape — until hip Holly tells them that since they’re under 18, they can be charged with creating child pornography (working the veggies into the meal — stealth!).

And Santana and Brittany realize their relationship is confusing them both, so they seek out the help of a trusted adult — Holly, of course — who encourages them to explore their feelings in song, which she helps them do. The singing is enough for Santana to realize that she has real feelings for Brittany and only wants to be with her — even though she’s worried about people talking about her behind her back. She never owns up to being a lesbian, though, which leaves me wondering if that was a move on Glee‘s part to be more realistic or if the show isn’t ready to deal with women being gay on the show (versus a couple of hot girls just making out). Santana tells Brittany she loves her, and Brittany loves her too — but she also loves Artie and doesn’t want to break up with him. So does this mean that the show will thrust Santana back into the arms of a dude next week? I’m hoping not. I want her — and the writers — to own up to what Santana said, that she doesn’t want to be with any of the guys. We shall see …

Also confused about relationships is Holly herself, who kisses Schue but then tells him she’d essentially eat him alive. After all, he married his high school sweetheart and then went out with a virgin.

Let’s Talk About Sex

After a confused interpretation of “Afternoon Delight,” Carl asks Holly to meet with him and Emma about their sex life — or lack thereof. They’ve been married for four months and still haven’t done the deed. Wha?!?!?! Oh, Emma. Holly cuts to the chase and asks Emma if she still has feelings for Will. And Emma says she’s confused about her feelings. Nooooooooooooo!

Stay with Carl! What is wrong with you?! Carl leaves, saying he’s staying at a hotel. Gah! Please don’t go Dr. Carl. I love you. 

And then the best scene from tonight’s episode: Burt and Kurt have the sex talk. I love Burt. And I love his relationship with Kurt. And I love that the sex talk sucked for both of them and that they got through it. The best part of it was that it wasn’t about being gay or straight. It was about Burt telling his son that he matters. Love. 

So what didn’t I love? Well, 1) the whole glee club is in the celibacy club together now (what happened to celibacy not being a viable option for teens?), 2) Quinn’s still hooking up with Finn and making plans for them to campaign for prom king and queen — I think she’s just seeing this as a do-over for her life, as in what would have happened had she not gotten pregnant by Puck? — and that just can’t be undone, and 3) Holly deciding to be with Will because of Emma sharing her feelings for Will with Holly. I mean, I realize that maybe she did have some sort of realization that she should be a grownup and be in a grownup relationship, but she said herself that seeing another woman want him made her want him too. Gah. 

And now, onto …

The Music

Glee-Puck-Karl.jpgJoan Jett and the Blackhearts’ “Do You Wanna Touch Me?” sung by Holly and New Directions

Holly was all fine and dandy, but Britt’s dancing was the best part of the song for me.

Neon Trees’ “Animal” sung by the Warblers

This is supposed to be their sexy song? The guys did a good job with it but nothing special.

Prince’s “Kiss” sung by Will and Holly

Will’s falsetto makes my ears sad. But Holly saved the song for me.

Fleetwood Mac’s “Landslide” sung by Holly, Brittany and Santana

Best song of the night for me. Loved the pared-down acoustic guitar and sitting on stools. Great harmonies. I got goose bumps. 

Starland Vocal Band’s “Afternoon Delight” sung by Carl, Emma, Quinn, Rachel and Puck

Omg, I love Uncle Jesse, and I thought this was super-cute.

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More “Sexy”

Discuss: What now for Santana and Brittany?

Discuss: Will New Directions win regionals this time around?

Gleeks React: The things that make Glee sexy

(Images courtesy of FOX)

Jen Harper

Editor, BuddyTV