What’s a show to do? With the firing of Charlie Sheen, Two and a Half Men is suddenly missing 40 percent of its titular cast. You’d think that this would mean the doom of any show. On the other hand, Two and a Half Men is a ratings giant. CBS would be crazy (crazier than Charlie Sheen even) to cancel such a program.

Is there a solution? Of course! With the help of my fellow BuddyTV writers, John Kubicek and Jen Harper, I came up with seven different ways that Two and a Half Men can be saved, even without Charlie Sheen.

1) Two and a Half Men Goes Meta
Charlie Sheen is gone, but that doesn’t mean the end of Charlie Harper. Two and a Half Men could morph “Charlie Harper” into a part played by a rotating cast of guest stars.

Just think of the possibilities: Charlie Harper played one week by John Stamos! Charlie Harper played the next week by Jaleel White! And the next week by Portia De Rossi! And then a dog! And then George Clooney!

2) Two and a Half Men Deals with Teen Pregnancy
The show’s co-star, Angus T. Jones, is getting too old to be half-a-man anyway. Two and a Half Men could promote Jake to full man status when he accidentally knocks up his girlfriend (Uncle Charlie was a bad influence, OK?).

After the show’s long hiatus, we meet Jake’s new son, Charlie Jr., and begin to follow a new triangle of two and a half men.

3) Two and a Half Men Carries on After the Death of Charlie Harper
Two and a Half Men finds itself in situation similar to that of 1980’s series Valerie (later Valerie’s Family, later The Hogan Family) when star Valerie Harper left. In that case, we learned that the family’s dear mother and wife had died. And then everybody moved on.

We’re probably going to have to go with a funny or bizarre off-screen death for Charlie Harper. Maybe Charlie went off to India on vacation, where he became ill and needed a blood transfusion. When they tragically gave the man tiger’s blood instead of O-negative, Charlie Harper died from an extreme immune system reaction. Oh well.

4) Two and a Half Men Replaces Uncle Charlie with Uncle Jesse
Wouldn’t it be cool if the rumors were true and they got John Stamos onto Two and a Half Men? It would be even cooler if they let the new character be Uncle Jesse, Charlie’s long-lost and inexplicably Greek brother who arrives with a wife named Becky and a couple of twins in tow.

5) Two and a Half Men‘s Characters Keep Just Missing Charlie
We don’t have to say goodbye to Charlie Harper. Instead, he can always be somewhere else. When the characters enter the kitchen, Charlie has just left. Or maybe he’s behind a piece of furniture. Or talking on the other end of a phone line. The characters could even have live conversations with Charlie Harper through walls.

6) Two and a Half Men Goes the Harvey Route
In the world of the show, nothing changes. Plotlines and characters carry on like Charlie Harper is still there. Alan has deep conversations with his brother Charlie. Except Charlie isn’t there. Or is he???

If nothing else, this will be a perfect showcase for the casts’ miming talents.

7) Two and a Half Men Never Speaks of Charlie Harper Ever Again
Charlie Sheen is gone, so the show could just get rid of the character. Altogether. No Charlie Harper. He never existed. Alan Harper owns the house and lives there with his son. No one seems to have any memory that Charlie was ever there.

There could be an explanation for the change. But it’s probably better if Two and a Half Men just never speaks of this again.

How would you improve Two and a Half Men? Do you think the show can survive without Charlie Sheen? Do you think it will be better without him, or worse? Leave us a comment with your opinion!

(Image courtesy of CBS)

Laurel Brown

Senior Writer, BuddyTV

Laurel grew up in Mamaroneck, NY, Grosse Pointe, MI and Bellevue WA. She then went on to live in places like Boston, Tucson, Houston, Wales, Tanzania, Prince Edward Island and New York City before heading back to Seattle. Ever since early childhood, when she became addicted to The Muppet Show, Laurel has watched far too much TV. Current favorites include ChuckModern FamilySupernaturalMad Men and Community. Laurel received a BA in Astrophysics (yes, that is possible) from Colgate University and a PhD in Middle Eastern Studies and History of Science from Columbia University before she realized that television is much better than studying.