This week’s Game of Thrones is titled “A Man Without Honor,” a name that could refer to any number of characters. There are the men who stole Daenerys’ dragons. There’s the Kingslayer, who makes his triumphant (and possibly final) return. Then there’s Theon, who gets even worse.
But the Seven Kingdoms also has some honorable men (and women), which surprisingly includes Tywin Lannister, Cersei and, of course, Jon Snow.
Theon Without Honor
Theon goes hunting for the missing cripple and half-wit who escaped him. He’s still desperate to prove that he’s not some weak, pathetic leader, and hat involves cruelty. So what does he do? Well, I’m not exactly sure, but it looks like he burned a child alive, or possibly covered him in hot tar. Either way, the episode ends with a blackened, dead child swinging from a noose, and that’s never good.
Jon Snow With Honor
The morning after his snuggle-fest with Ygritte, Jon Snow has a little case of morning wood that he’s embarrassed by. It’s so adorable, especially since it turns out Jon Snow is a virgin. Ygritte tries her hardest to seduce him, but Jon Snow has honor and will not forsake his Night’s Watch vows. That’s too bad, because not only does he not get laid, but he also gets trapped by Manse Rayder’s people.
Jaime Lannister Without Honor
After being gone from the past five episodes, Jaime Lannister is back, and he’s better than ever. He enjoys a chat with his biggest fan and Jaime is so darn charismatic and charming that I almost wish he’d escape and live happily ever after. But then he kills his super fan and fellow prisoner to lure the guard inside his cell to kill him too. You see Jaime wants to die because he’s not built to be a prisoner. The only problem is no one will kill him and he’s quickly recaptured by Catelyn Stark.
But that’ when Jaime proves just how awful he can be. He finds Catelyn’s weak spot and goes at it. He brings up Jon Snow, Ned’s bastard, a reminder of the affair her husband had. That’s not so happy for Catelyn, and the last thing we see is her taking Brienne’s sword. Will Catelyn kill Jaime? I hope not. Jaime is this season’s most underutilized asset.
Tywin With Honor
Surprisingly, the Lannister patriarch is becoming a nice guy, bonding with Arya over meals and chats about the history of dragons. Much like everyone who watches Game of Thrones, Tywin can’t help but fall in love with Arya. He also seems more than a little saddened by the fact that this is the war he’ll be remembered for.
Shae With Honor
Sansa is still having nightmares about almost being raped, but scarier than that is the fact that she has her first period. This is bad news because it means she has to start having babies with Joffrey, which is a horrifying concept. Luckily Shae is around to try and help flip the bed. When another handmaiden walks in, Shae runs after her and threatens to kill her if she says anything. Hooray for Shae!
Cersei With Honor
Unfortunately for Sansa, the Hound also sees the blood-stained bed and tells Cersei. The king’s mother comes to Sansa to talk about having babies, and she acknowledges that her son is awful. Her advice is that Sansa should only love her children.
That sentiment continues when Cersei and Tyrion have a late-night chat about the impending attack from Stannis. It also gives Cersei a chance to admit that her son is sick and twisted because he’s the product of incest. When his own mother acknowledges you’re an abomination who should not exist, you know Joffrey is a bad dude.
The Thirteen Without Honor
Daenerys is desperate to find her dragons, but the answer is a little terrifying. After being called to a meeting with the Thirteen, it seems Pyat Pree (the creepy dude from the House of the Undying who could replicate himself) is working with Xaro Xhoan Daxos to help make him the King of Qarth. I’m not totally sure why that plan involved stealing the dragons, but I do know that it involves killing the other 11 members of the Thirteen. RIP Spice King, I’ll miss you most of all.
(Image courtesy of HBO)