Previously on Flavor of Love 3: Saaphyri and Buckwild arrived to oversee a calendar photo shoot in which Prancer took front stage, upsetting the other, less attractive women. Shy was sent home for having breath so bad she needed more than $20,000 in dental work to fix it. In closing, Saaphyri and Buckwild brought in their own stable of four hotties to enter the competition.
We pick up right where we left off, with Flavor Flav making the acquaintance of the four new ladies. The first one wants to be called Blue because of her eyes, but Flav calls her Black because that’s the color of her dress. The next woman calls herself “the perfect prototype of a woman,” so her name is Prototype. Luscious D is the third girl (named for the gigantic flotation devices on her chest), and finally there’s a tall drink of water he calls Tree, but who Prancer calls a She-Male until she gets confirmation of a vagina.
Arch-rivals Seezinz and Sinceer decide to put aside their differences to team up and get the new girls out of the house. The new girls are disgusted by fake eyelashes and leg shavings in the room and maggots in the kitchen.
The next morning, Flavor Flav announces the competition is a three-act Hip Hopera based on Flavor Flav’s life, with two acts written and one the women need to write themselves. I imagine this will be a cross between “Trapped in the Closet” and No Exit. Seezinz takes the reins as director and casts Tree as New York, Prototype as Deelishis, Black as Hoopz and Luscious D as Brigitte Nielsen, the four smallest roles.
In the limo to the concert hall, Hotlanta hits the sauce hard. Act 1 tells the story of Brigitte, and act 2 tells the saga of Pumpkin spitting at New York. The final act is a mess of original raps, and while Prancer is quite good, she uses it to acknowledge that she and Flavor Flav have gotten Biblical.
Afterwards, Flavor Flav gives out awards, and Prototype gets the Best Performance Award for stuffing her underwear to get a big butt. Sinceer also wins a Best Performance Award.
Back in the mansion, Hotlanta is drunk off her ass. The next morning, the new girls make Flavor Flav breakfast in bed. The also bring him a rap about how messy the other girls are. Before going on his date with Sinceer and Prototype, he orders the new girls to give out the Immunity Clock to one of the old girls. The date is a trip to the race track, and Flavor wins three races in a row. Later, Prototype lists off her acting and music video credits. He half-jokingly (or half genuinely) changes her name to Phototype.
Meanwhile, the new girls interview the other girls. Luscious D is confused by the whole concept of the twins, so they interview Thing 1 and Thing 2 separately. They prefer Thing 2 (the skinny one) and decide to give her the Immunity Clock. After he hears this, Flavor Flav gives them all clocks, then he sits down with Thing 2 and gives her the Immunity Clock. He blacks out one of the faces to indicate he’s splitting them up, but, in an awkward moment, he accidentally blacks out Thing 2’s face instead of Thing 1!
Flavor of Love 3 Elimination Time! He plans out getting rid of Hotlanta, but gives her a chance to make her case and change his mind. She brings up the sexual confession Prancer made during her rap. It works, and Prancer is sent home. Wow, what a turnaround from last week.
Next week on Flavor of Love 3: The girls celebrate Flavor Flav’s wedding and mourn him at his funeral. Also, Hotlanta and Thing 2 have a huge fight.
-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of VH1)