This week’s meta-crazy Supernatural brought us many intense, hilarious, and surprisingly deep plot points. Which is more important, fame or true heroism? What is the meaning of life in a world where we have nothing to believe in? Who can you trust when the very universe turns upside down?
But, most importantly, what is Octocobra?
This show, supposedly in development from former Supernatural showrunner Eric Kripke, was mentioned only briefly in a throwaway line. Probably, we weren’t supposed to pay attention to it.
Alas, that is impossible. How can we ignore the awful awesomeness of something called Octocobra.
We can’t. And we won’t.
With that in mind, we present ten pitches for possible Octocobra plots.
Much like Rocky, Sylvester Stallone could make multiple sequels to his seminal 1986 film, Cobra. In this eighth installment, Marion Cobretti, the Cobra, has once again defied his superiors’ orders at the LAPD. He must then fight off the hordes of evildoers and save the girl on his own. Be prepared for a great deal of graphic violence.
Octocobra and the Gang:
In order to combat her financial woes, this reality series follows the Octomom as she starts up a herpetology business and performs shows mixing a cobra with her kids.
A super-tough special-ops soldier accepts a mission in enemy territory. He’s helped by a beautiful female inventor, who has invented new body armor that allows for the firing of eight weapons simultaneously and increases speed to the velocity of a cobra strike.
Scientists looking to save the octopus infuse the sea animal with cobra DNA to make it more aggressive. The results are predictably horrifying, but the scientists work to find a way to coexist with creature, despite the bloodshed.
Disaffected intellectuals meet for dinner parties. They deal with life and love issues, never reaching any sort of conclusion. The great existential quandaries of life are first introduced by a debate on whether a cobra could have eight legs and still be a snake.
Eight members of that Kobra Kai dojo seek revenge on the virtuous Daniel in this expansion of the original Karate Kid story.
The new inhabitants of an old house are haunted by a never-seen monster. When the local townsfolk are questioned, they say it’s the octocobra, a local legend.
In this animated series, Octocobra is the lonely but spunky offspring of an octopus and a snake. He teaches kids important life lessons on self-acceptance and tolerance as he struggles to find his place in the undersea world. Octocobra’s struggles are lessened by fun times with his best friend, Elephiger (an elephant-tiger mix that lives on the nearby desert island).
An evil science team successfully creates a killer octopus that has cobras for tentacles, but when it escapes, it’s up to the team to capture the deadly abomination. The only problem is that the octocobra is spraying its ink and venom all over the college kids in town for spring break.
This live-action reimagining of G.I. Joe tells the story of eight new recruits at Cobra headquarters. We’d see the rather ordinary but complicated lives of these new villains as they try to find love and purpose in the evil organization.
(Thanks to John Kubicek for plots 9 and 10 from his “The French Mistake” recap!)
How intrigued are you about the concept of Octocobra? Should Supernatural make this happen? Is there any chance that, in this reality or another, Eric Kripke is really writing Octocobra? Share your ideas in the comments section!
(Image courtesy of The CW)