I learned a lot from last night’s episode of Glee, “Blame It on the Alcohol.” First, I learned that underage drinking can lead to making out with hot Eurasian-looking dudes and free frozen yogurt. It made me regret the fact that I waited until I was 21 to start boozing it up.
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But more importantly, I learned that Kurt and I have something in common: we both think male bisexuality is a myth. Blaine’s very brief experimentation with kissing girls prompted Kurt to defensively respond that “Bisexual is a term that gay guys in high school use when they want to hold hands with girls and feel like a normal person for a change.” And I completely agree.
Blaine’s actions in this episode were ridiculous and, if anything, a dangerous message to send to gay teens. According to Blaine, the only way to know for sure that you’re gay is to kiss a girl and see what happens. This flies against everything Glee has ever stood for in terms of being true to yourself.
The truth is that heterosexuality and homosexuality are identical. Whatever your preference, you know that you have one. To suggest that Blaine needed to kiss Rachel to decide if he’s really gay is the same as if Puck needed to kiss a boy to decide whether he’s actually straight.
But that storyline would never happen because it would be too absurd, even for Glee. Blaine’s half-an-episode fence-sitting on his own sexual orientation is just another in a long series of attempts to turn him from a teenage dream into a gay nightmare. Kurt may still have the hots for him, but he shouldn’t.
Blaine proved that he’s opposed to standing out in a crowd when he encouraged Kurt to tone it down for his Warblers solo audition. He also revealed that he’s a complete liar when it comes to his words of inspiration to Kurt since he knows nothing about relationships and his idea of game is singing in a crowded Gap.
When you pile on his recent Hamlet-esque questioning of his own sexual orientation, you have a guy who is incapable of understanding even the most basic truths about himself. Sure, he’s hot and he sings well, but Glee has always championed substance over style (at least in theory, but the relentless auto-tuning and devotion to vapid cultural flavors of the week like Ke$ha has me doubting that).
Glee, at its core, was supposed to be about outcasts who embraced their own unique voices, regardless of how many times they’d get slushied or thrown in a dumpster. Blaine just isn’t that. Instead, he’s become a joke of a character, someone who is used for what passes as actual plot on this show. The only reason Blaine questioned his sexual orientation was so that the writers would have an excuse to give Rachel a sudden burst of creativity to write her original song.
Ironically, Glee is being untrue to its characters, forcing them into ridiculous plots they wouldn’t actually get into without the random whims of the writers. Maybe the writing staff could go back to the pilot and try to remember what this show is about instead of coming up with far-fetched character assassinations just to move the plot forward,
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(Image courtesy of FOX)