Beauty, class, elegance, The Countess’s new music video. We’ve all seen it by now, or at least clips, but now it’s time for the “making of” special. LuAnn says yes to everything except the Hummer. She has standards, after all. “Can we get a jet? It says the word, ‘jet,’ in the song.”

Ramona and Sonja work out together so that Ramona can tell Sonja about the letter Avery wrote. Ramona has decided not to be in LuAnn’s music video because she wants to set a good example. There were MEN on a BED in the last one. All of a sudden Ramona is worried about what goes “out there forever.” Ramona convinced Sonja not to do the music video, either.

Alex and Simon roast hot dogs over the burned resentment from Jill and Alex’s past. Their son (FRANCOIS!) wants some beer. Alex won’t do the video, either, because she doesn’t like the word, “class,” and she thinks the whole Countess message is uppity. It’s fine for LuAnn, but Alex has standards. Alex doesn’t want to talk about where she came from but she had three homes and her father owned oil fields in Kansas. As the flames of hatred grow higher and higher, Simon suggests The Countess remove the “o” from her title. Ouch, good thing he didn’t “Mean Tweet” that!

Jill, she of fewer morals and standards, is putting on a little neuro ski hat to get her brain scanned. Jill’s daughter thinks it’s cool that Jill is doing the music video. Sonja still has her reservations. She doesn’t want to listen to anything Jill is saying to make her feel better about the video. Ramona got in her ear! Jill’s brain hat must have been lighting up like a Christmas tree (in the rage center of the brain). Jill tells Sonja to come just to support LuAnn, even if she doesn’t do the video, but Ramona got in that blonde head first.

As Housewives do, Ramona is meeting LuAnn for lunch/tea to discuss why she doesn’t want to do the video fight. Through telling LuAnn her reasoning, Ramona ended up insinuating that LuAnn is a bad parent. What a bitch! In response, LuAnn said one of her favorite things to tell the Housewives, “I have been nothing but gracious and nice to you.” After that, LuAnn notes “Turtle Time,” and might have been thinking about what the psychic said in Morocco. So Ramona says LuAnn is just jealous because her husband cheated on her.

Speaking of people who shouldn’t spend time together, Cindy and Sonja are trying to hang out again. Why? Why would they do this? Oh, because Sonja wants to make Cindy like her with her toaster oven cooking. Sonja tries to woo Cindy (she’s even missing her dance class for it!), but Cindy brought her assistant. How rude! Sonja’s assistant should be the only one there. Cindy took a phone call in Sonja’s kitchen, because she had to be at work, and Sonja was pissed. It was pretty rude, I guess, especially when Sonja was trying to give her a thoughtful brunch. But it was also rude for Sonja to make a lot of intentional noise and argue with Cindy while she was on the call. Cindy has been excommunicated from the Morgan residence.

The music video is on and only Jill and Kelly agreed to be in it. I’m sure that after seeing the video, no one regretted their decision either way. Jill was so excited to be in it, it was actually kind of sweet. LuAnn and Jill improvise most of the video, and annoy the director, who was obviously not aware of what he signed up for.

Meanwhile, in another limo, Ramona and Sonja adjust their boobs for a lecherous Mario. Alex and Simon are hosting a party in Brooklyn. They got some art installed in their house so that it’s even more crowded. Five seconds in, Sonja’s boob falls out. Even with the likely chance of another exposed breast, the party was boring. Mario makes his opinions about Brooklyn known right at the beginning of Simon and Alex’s welcome speech. YIKES.

Sonja tells Alex and Ramona of Cindy’s perceived rudeness. To make everything better, Ramona and Alex invite themselves over to Sonja’s for breakfast.

Sonja later made up her dance class that she missed for Cindy, with Ramona, Avery, and Alex. I could not feel more second-hand embarrassment. To prove me wrong again, LuAnn, Jill, and Kelly shoot more of “Chic, C’est La Vie.” Everyone made themselves feel better about their choices that day by admonishing the choices of the other hair color. 

Now, in case you haven’t seen the finished product, please enjoy the official video of “Chic, C’est La Vie.” And please take time to enjoy how uncomfortable Jill Zarin looks in it at all times, and the director’s failed attempts to minimize her appearance in the video.

(images courtesy of Bravo)

Carla Patton

Writer, BuddyTV

Originally from Seattle, Carla recently took a husband and moved to Austin, Texas, where she is finally using her television “problem” to her advantage. It’s sort of like Dexter, but boring and less murdering. Carla’s favorite shows include 30 RockThe Amazing RaceProject RunwayModern Family, anything with murder, and pretty much anything gross and weird (CSIThe BachelorToddlers & Tiaras, etc.). Favorite canceled shows include: Arrested DevelopmentVeronica Mars and Average Joe. In her spare time, Carla leads tours of downtown Austin on a Segway (don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it!), blogs about Netflix Instant, and visits elementary schools telling children they don’t need math to succeed (just kidding, stay in school, kids).