We all know that Evel Dick Donato left Big Brother 13 last Thursday, but tonight we finally see it happen. Sadly, we don’t get any sort of explanation about how it happened, and after he leaves, nearly all of the HGs, new and returning, have a total meltdown.
The Veterans Can’t Count
After the nomination ceremony, Rachel and Brendon assure Porsche that Keith is their target and they’re giving her the Golden Key, but she still cries and makes the veterans wonder what’s wrong with her. At this point, there are 11 votes this week, and the veterans only have five of them, so maybe Porsche is upset because the veterans, by themselves, can’t actually guarantee her safety. Brenchel’s condescending assurance means nothing, but the fact that they don’t understand that means they can’t count.
The Mysterious Exit of Evel Dick
Evel Dick is called to the diary room, and while we see him walk there, that’s it. Time passes, the HGs worry, and Rachel is called into the room and comes out to read a message that Evel Dick has left and Danielle gets the first Golden Key. Um, boo! I understand that Evel Dick has already said it was an emergency regarding someone close to him and that he wants to respect their privacy, but the complete lack of information about this circumstance is kind of lame.
After, Danielle cries about how unfair it is that the veterans are down one person, the rest of them have a total meltdown and a huge pity party. They already had one shot, so it’s hard for me to feel any sympathy for their complaints that the game isn’t fair for them.
Jeff is the only voice of reason who decides to fight and not be a whiner and a quitter. Earlier today I was overly lenient on his homophobic rant about Dumbledore, and while I still maintain his comments came from ignorance and not hate, I also have to admit that they’ve changed my opinion of him for the worse. Normally I’d praise him for being tough and rational in the face of Brenchel’s obnoxious whining and bitching, but now all I can think about is what he said and it makes me not like him.
Keith Goes Crazy
For some reason, Keith gloats about Evel Dick leaving and generally acts like a total fool in his campaign against Porsche, which is entirely unnecessary since everyone else can see with their own two eyes Porsche is working with the veterans and that keeping her would be a mistake. But Keith’s lack of stability makes everyone start to question whether keeping him is such a good idea. Here’s the short answer: Yes, it is, because, in the world of Big Brother, an unstable ally is better than a reasonable enemy.
The First Power of Veto
Rachel/Brendon and Keith/Porsche play in the PoV competition against one other couple, and they pick Jeff and Jordan. I’m not usually a conspiracy theorist, but I’m convinced the PoV selection process is in no way, shape, or form fair and that the producers manipulate the outcome. If the PoV choices continue to benefit the veterans, I’ll know I’m right.
The actual competition doesn’t matter, because both Keith and Porsche want to throw the competition, but neither knows this about the other. As a result, they both think the other is an idiot. The HGs are in tight superhero costumes and have to build a puzzle. Jeff and Jordan are absolutely adorable, but once again, that annoying Dumbledore thing is making it hard for me to love their silliness. Damn it, Jeff, you may have ruined Big Brother 13 for me.
With two HGs throwing it and Jeff and Jordan too stupid to do it, Brendon and Rachel walk away with a win. You’re not allowed to whine if the newbies target you when you win the first two competitions, but I’m sure Brenchel will still think they’re being persecuted like Salem witches when they are nominated.
We get to vote for what food the Have Nots will eat next week, and the choices are:
Gumdrops and Grits
Jelly Beans and Jerky
Rock Candy and Radishes
The first two sound pretty good, so I vote for the third one, mostly because it has a very Fraggle Rock vibe since the Doozers turn radishes into edible crystal buildings.
Power (of Veto) Corrupts
Wining both competitions, Brenchel assumes they get to do whatever they want, and that’s true this week, but the idea that they can make deals to stay safe next week and that they can trust the newbies is delusional. Of course, the newbies are going to nominate them, and the fact that Brenchel thinks they can prevent it through intimidation is insane. Also crazy is how, when all the other pairs are called up to the HoH room, Brendon does all of the talking even though it’s Rachel who would nominate someone. They are illustrating why they are such a big threat and need to be split up ASAP, but they don’t even realize it.
Cassi is the only person with the guts, to tell the truth, that the veterans would vote to keep themselves over the newbies, so aligning with them isn’t so smart. Rachel is hurt that Cassi didn’t tell her what she wanted to hear, which is the height of craziness because it means Rachel doesn’t like the only person willing to tell the truth instead of lying through her teeth just to appease the veterans.
Rachel also tries to make a deal with Keith where she wants him to guarantee that Rachel/Brendon and Jeff/Jordan would be safe for the next two weeks. Even though this is a social game and you need to play smart, I would’ve laughed in her face and told her to kiss my butt, because that’s the single worst deal for Keith ever. I know Rachel isn’t a genius, but can she honestly think he would uphold that deal if she saved him?
Much like watching this episode of Big Brother 13, this is all an exercise in futility because at the end of the day, Rachel doesn’t use the Power of Veto, and Keith and Porsche are still the nominees. The veterans still want Porsche to stay, most of the newbies still want Porsche gone, so Thursday night will show just how persuasive the veterans can be.
(Image courtesy of CBS)