Big Brother 12 was the last time the show had a house full of brand new houseguests. It introduced us to Rachel Reilly, the Brigade, and a snarky blonde named Britney Haynes.
Big Brother 15 has Rachel 2.0 (her sister Elissa), the Brigade 2.0 (now called the Moving Company), and Britney 2.0 (Aaryn, except for the fact that Britney was awesome and Aaryn is awful). Either by accident or by design, this is shaping up to be identical to what happened three years ago.
In this episode, an alliance is formed, showmances are born, Elissa’s connection to Rachel is obvious to everyone, the Have-Nots are chosen and McCrae makes his nominations.
The MVP Twist
Everyone starts to freak out over the MVP twist and they wonder who it’s gonna be. The problems with this are too numerous to count. Julie Chen’s assertion that America will vote for the person they think is playing the best game is a little too optimistic. How do we know they won’t just vote for the person they like the best? Or the person whose sister is one of the all-time most famous players? And as we’ll learn later, everyone in the house is operating under the assumption that the MVP vote will have nothing to do with strategy.
Aaryn loves the MVP twist because she thinks she’s going to get it more than once. Sigh. I can guarantee that this is NOT going to happen.
The Moving Company
With laser focus, Nick compiles a list of people he wants to work with, then goes out to offer individual invitations to each of them to join his club. It’s the kind of ruthless, beautiful gamesmanship I love. He wants Jeremy, a big, strong goof. He wants Howard, the strongman. He wants Spencer, the nice, honest dude. And he wants McCrae, the first HoH. It’s a plan everyone agrees with.
Before the first commercial break, they meet up in the HoH room, agree to a solid, secret alliance, decide that David needs to be the first target because he’s their only physical competition, and Spencer comes up with the name “Moving Company” because they’re gonna move everyone out of the house. This has Brigade written all over it, which is good for them but could make for an equally boring and predictable season.
If Nick doesn’t win the next MVP, the whole thing is rigged. He single-handedly brought this powerhouse alliance together and basically created the blueprint for everything that happens (and will happen) this week. I don’t believe in love at first sight, but that may change now that I’ve met Nick.
Some of the girls immediately start gossiping about boys in the bathroom, because this is high school. They all assume Aaryn will pair off with David, which she does. In no time at all, Aaryn attaches herself to David because he’s a strong guy and she wants him to protect her, but he’s only in the house for a showmance. He doesn’t even know who Rachel Reilly is. Like that dude in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, she has chosen poorly.
Elsewhere, Jessie is so desperate for a showmance that she’s lusting after Nick and Jeremy, comparing herself to Bella from Twilight and they’re Jacob and Edward. I agree with that sentiment. Jeremy is big, strong, and Native American, Nick is terrifyingly pale and Jessie is an annoying, whiny chick. Amanda wants to slap her, as do I.
The Rachel Reilly Factor
Judd tells McCrae that he knows for a fact that Elissa is Rachel’s sister. That’s followed by everyone else figuring it out because they have eyes and ears. Yeah, it’s that obvious, and then suspicion grows because they all think that she’s keeping it a secret, which makes her shady.
Later, Elissa confesses that she’s Rachel’s sister to McCrae to hopefully avoid having a target on her. I’m already so over this whole Rachel Reilly nonsense. She was the star of seasons 12 and 13, and now season 15 is going to be all about her too?
The Have-Not Competition
The first challenge is set at a campsite with squirrels in cowboy hats (because the set designers of Big Brother 15 are big marijuana fans, I assume). They must go back and forth in a pool in an inner tube to collect cans and stack them in a pyramid.
The red team is a miserable failure as Howard and Judd can’t paddle and Elissa’s voice is like daggers to my soul. Meanwhile, Aaryn lusts after David’s “Greek godness” and the way his bathing suits clings to his body. By the way, Aaryn isn’t the one who compliments David’s “Greek godness,” those are his own words to describe himself.
The red team (Howard, Judd, Elissa, Helen, and Andy) lose and head to their new room, where the beds are all seats from an airplane. Wow, that’s just cruel. Also, we get to vote for next week’s Have-Not food:
Bologna and Blue Cheese
Oysters and Okra
Liver and Lima Beans
Yuck to all of them.
After the Have-Not competition, everyone starts to hate Candice because she gets under their skin. I don’t want to start a huge race debate, but why are the black women on this show always viewed as confrontational and targeted early? See Jodi, Monet, Chima, Libra, etc.
Amanda then gets into McCrae’s ear to try and control him. She says Jessie should go up because no one likes her (and she has a better ass than Amanda).
Aaryn and David suggest Helen and Elissa should go up because it won’t upset anyone and Aaryn is worried about Elissa being Rachel’s sister. “It is a 100 percent fact in my mind,” she says, proving that she doesn’t have an understanding of what words mean.
In the end, McCrae nominates Candice and Jessie, which is probably smart because neither poses a real threat of retaliation (unless you count the fact that Jessie will be boiling Jeremy and Nick’s pet bunnies by next week). His speech is total B.S. about Candice being strong and Jessie being socially savvy and having a great chance to win the game, none of which is even remotely true.
(Image courtesy of CBS)