It’s been a busy week on Big Brother 14. Last Thursday was a live double eviction that sent Frank and Joe to the jury house. Then Ian won HoH, Shane won PoV, the U.S Women’s Gymnastics teamed met with two of the HGs and Jenn was evicted. Then Danielle won the next HoH competition and now we get to see the final Power of Veto competition and the fourth eviction in seven days.
And that will leave us with our final three houseguests, who will go head-to-head-to-head in the three-part final HoH competition. It all happens live, so stick with me throughout the hour for all the fun and madness.
The announcer said Jenn City became Jenn Jury after her eviction. That’s pretty brilliant.
Julie Chen let’s us know Danielle must choose between her best friend and her boyfriend. Obviously Julie isn’t watching the live feeds, because I’d hardly use those terms for Dan or Shane.
But first, Ian, Danielle, Shane and Dan quack inside the house because they made it to the end. Now it’s the Couple vs. the Renegades. Dan states the obvious, namely that the Quack Pack needs to start eating their own ducks.
As always, I’m disgusted by Danielle thinking she’s SOOOO amazing because she beat the boys. Girl, you won on a technicality because Dan barely went over on the tiebreaker. And Dan lets her think that by saying the student has beaten the teacher. Secretly, however, he’s manipulating Danielle into manipulating Shane for him by telling her to nominate himself and Ian to make Shane feel safe.
Danielle nominates Dan and Ian, just like Dan told her to do. The girl hasn’t had an original game thought all season. It’s funny to hear her say things in the diary room that are the exact same things Dan told her, but she acts like they’re her original thoughts. She also claims that Dan and Ian both backdoored her, proving she has no idea what that word means, because you only get backdoored if you actually get evicted, like Janelle. I know Danielle thinks backdooring Janelle was her idea, but she even said during that week that she would NOT have done it unless Dan said it was OK.
Sorry if I’m being too mean, Danielle fans (if such magical, elusive creatures exist). But she just makes it so easy.
The Jury House
Ashley did a lot of yoga and blew bubbles for an entire week. She proudly says she gets to choose who wins the game, and that makes me sad.
Britney scares Ashley, who is super tan and who has gained 20 pounds. Britney informs her that Dan misted Frank into saving him and that Dan is probably going to win the game. From Britney’s lips to God’s ears.
Frank arrives and Ashley is sad (but happy to have her make-out buddy), but Britney is giddy. Frank is disappointed that Dan used God. Britney respects Dan’s game but Frank is very, very bitter about it.
When Joe shows up he says he just lost half a million dollars. Um, no, you were NEVER going to win, Joe. But Joe laughs off being lied to by Dan. Things get very heated and Britney tries to explain that morals have NO PLACE in this game while Frank gets all high and mighty, ultimately yelling at Britney. It gets quite ugly when Frank compares Dan’s lies to Britney theoretically cheating on her husband. Dude, it’s a freaking game! I’m just happy everyone else in the jury house understands that and Britney will NOT let Frank taint the jury with his bitterness.
With this performance, there’s still a good chance Britney wins America’s Choice, because she really is awesome. I’m in awe of how she transformed this season from a coach I didn’t respect to one of my favorite people to ever play this game.
The Final Power of Veto Competition
The HGs must solve a molecule puzzle by matching HG’s faces to clues about them. This sounds perfectly tailored to Ian, complete with the chemistry. Everyone quacks before the game begins, wishing each other luck. I kind of adore this mutual respect everyone has for each other.
Ian buzzes in first, but he’s wrong and makes a weird monster noise, as Dan describes. Ian keeps pushing the button again and again after replacing answers. He gets very frazzled and that kind of screws up his game.
Then, magically, Danielle wins the final Power of Veto. Slow and steady wins the race. Shane is very, very happy because she can keep her boys (Shane and Dan) safe for the final three she always dreamed of. Or so she thinks. Cue ominous, foreshadowing music.
After the PoV, Ian is depressed because he thinks the nominations will stay the same and either he or Dan will go home. But that’s when Dan goes into the HoH bedroom to MIST the ever-loving crap out of Danielle. She’s so proud of herself for beating Ian at a puzzle. Dan says he’s worried about potentially going home and doesn’t totally trust Shane. He then subtly suggests that saving him would be like she’s trying to make things better after the funeral. Dan promises that he would keep Shane safe if he were saved. Of course he’s totally lying.
Danielle then convinces Shane that saving Dan is good for Shane because it will convince Dan that Danielle and Shane aren’t as close as they really are. Danielle promises that she would never ever ever ever do this if she weren’t 110 percent sure he’d stay safe. Oh God, it’s like watching lambs get slaughtered in slow motion. Danielle and Shane kiss, thinking everything is good. Please, God, let this happen.
The Live Power of Veto Ceremony
Ian asks Danielle to give this dog its day. Dan is proud of Danielle and he vows to write a book about what coaches can learn from their players.
Danielle uses the Power of Veto to save Dan!
Shane says he wasn’t expecting this and then does some shout-outs and just says that he likes everyone. He says he shook Dan’s hand and made a deal.
Ian is shocked about what happened .
Dan votes to evict…SHANE.
SHANE IS EVICTED 1-0.
It’s everything I dreamed of and more. Danielle’s mouth is wide open and she’s totally shocked. She apologizes to Shane as he leaves. Ian just says “Um. Um. What?” It’s a work of freaking art and truly the most shocking moment ever. Ian, Danielle and Shane are all totally shell-shocked. I feel like Jodie Foster at the end of Contact. It’s so beautiful. They should’ve sent a poet.
Dan immediately tries to explain to Danielle that he’s doing this to help her win because Danielle could not have beaten Shane at the end, but she can beat Ian. It’s a nice cover, but I don’t buy it. She is utterly furious at Dan for continually lying to her and pulling this kind of crap. I blame her and everyone else. How many times does this guy need to lie before you get it through your freaking head that he’s playing this game for only one person, and that’s himself.
In his interview with Julie, Shane is also in total shock and says Dan is just a dirty player.
And that’s it. Wait, what? Why isn’t part 1 of the final HoH competition starting right now like it always does? Maybe because the producers knew that it wouldn’t be fair to start an endurance competition with Danielle and Ian so insanely frazzled.
See Who Wins Part 1 of the Final HoH Competition>>
(Image courtesy of CBS)