I think Big Brother 13 houseguest Adam Poch is a Make-a-Wish Foundation kid. He’s a Big Brother super fan who got the chance to be on the show and meet his favorite HG ever, Evel Dick, and now he gets to meet his dream girl, Beverly Hills 90210 star Tori Spelling. Maybe he has a rare disease that makes him age rapidly so he looks like a 40-year-oid, overweight metal head.
How else can you explain the fact that Big Brother 13 is giving him everything he wants, despite the fact that he doesn’t really do anything in the house or add any value to the season?
The HoH Competition
Rachel gets off to an early leads and, since they only have 13 minutes to go through the donut glaze, it’s a done deal from the start. They pretend that Adam is close, but he’s not that close. The ever-obnoxious Rachel criticizes Kalia for sleeping all season and not working out, because then maybe she’d be stronger and could keep up. That would make sense if Jordan, who HAS been working out all season, didn’t follow that up by saying she’s too weak to do it. Obviously spending a couple weeks working out wasn’t going to matter in this competition.
After winning, Rachel crows about how her win is for Brendon (ugh) and Jordan squawks about how she wants to make the final 2 with Rachel to prove that they beat the odds. Seriously? Jordan, you’re not beating anything, you’re just letting Rachel drag you to the end.
Pandora’s Box: Tori Spelling and Mr. Pectacular
Rachel gets a Pandora’s Box and sees Tori Spelling and a shopping spree. She debates whether to open it for a long time because she doesn’t want to change the game, but in the end, she opens it. I wonder if the producers stepped in at any point to force her to open it. The feeds go down during this, so we don’t know, but since Julie Chen promised a celebrity on Thursday’s show, Rachel not opening it wasn’t an option for the show.
When she opens it, she gets locked in a room with Mr. Pectacular, Jessie Godderz from Big Brother 10 and Big Brother 11. I like watching Rachel suffer, but I feel bad for Jessie, having to spend time with her.
Meanwhile, Tori Spelling is unleashed on the house and Adam has a virtual heart attack since he’s been talking about how much he loves Donna Martin all season. He acts like a child, showing her all his things and obsessively freaking out over the fact that Tori Spelling is actually talking to him and kissing his duck. It’s cute, but I feel awful for the other HGs, because this is just for Adam.
At the end, Adam, Porsche, Kalia and Jordan get a three-minute shopping spree in the backyard while Rachel has to watch and whine. This entire Pandora’s Box seems designed solely for Adam, so I don’t’ really care about it.
During the episode, Rachel tells Kalia that it’s a “travesty” that competitors like Brendon, Jeff and Daniele are in the jury house. She once again talks about how she wants a competitor to win, but then she realizes that it’s better to have weak floaters like Adam and Jordan stick around because they’re easier to beat. At least Rachel seems to acknowledge that all of her “anti-floater” talk is B.S.
Jordan tries to say that Kalia and Porsche sleep all the time, so they don’t deserve to be at the end. Really? Who cares if someone sleeps all week since there’s admittedly nothing to do in the Big Brother house. And Jordan is the last person who has any right to talk about who deserves to be in the finale given who bad she is at every single competition.
Rachel nominates Porsche and Kalia, claiming that they nominated her, so she’s getting back at them. I’m sick and tired of using that as an excuse. First, Adam has NEVER been HoH, so he never even had the option of nominating Rachel. Second, in a wonderful bit of irony, Adam and Jordan are the only two people who’ve actually voted to evict Rachel. Porsche and Kalia have never done that.
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(Image courtesy of CBS)