The past week has been an explosive one in the Big Brother 13 house. Daniele tried to stir the pot with a plot to backdoor Jeff, but thanks to Shelly’s unwavering devotion to Jordan, it blew up in Dani’s face and now her closest ally in the house, Dominic, is on his way out.
The vote should go smoothly because, despite some last-minute campaigning to get Porsche and Shelly to keep Dominic, the Veterans Alliance (which now no longer includes Daniele) is in control. Shelly and Porsche are firmly attached to Jeff/Jordan and Brendon/Rachel respectively like barnacles.
Tonight also marks the end of couples and the start of the individual game. Well, kind of. The truth is that while the newbies and Daniele will now be free to play an individual game, the other veterans are STILL playing as couples and, worse, playing as a foursome.
Now on with the show!
Previously on Big Brother:
Rachel gagging on bubbles. I feel like Rachel’s gagging, crying, or making some other primal noise is a common theme for this season.
Before the real action, we have to relive lots of fighting, beginning when Daniele lays down the gauntlet by saying that she’ll be pissed if Dominic goes. It gets loud very quickly and Daniele isn’t taking it, especially since she knows Brendon and Rachel want to screw her over by not letting her have anyone else to work with like they have.
We also have to suffer through a ton of conversations where everyone says “people have been saying,” which is a vague and weak device to ask a question indirectly. Jeff is a giant douchebag to Dominic by demanding that Dominic tell him what Jeff wants to hear, which is annoying for two reasons. One, Jeff is being a big jerk, and two, even if Dominic says what Jeff wants to hear, it won’t change anything anyway.
I can’t even stomach Jeff at this point and I’m so over his B.S. After a while, Dominic starts to argue that Jeff already knows they’re talking about Daniele, and the reason he didn’t say it is because he thought Dani was tighter with the veterans, which makes total sense. You don’t go up to one of your acquaintances and tell them that their best friend is betraying them, because why would they trust an acquaintance over their best friend?
By the end of this, I just want to yell at my TV: “F*** YOU, JEFF!”
And this is all prelude to the big house meeting fight. Here are the choice bits.
-Kalia calls Brendon a terrible listener and then totally calls him out on how his game didn’t work last season. It’s nearly identical to the way Brendon’s big fight with Britney started last season, so it’s safe to assume the problem is Brendon and his condescending, “It’s not rocket science” comments.
-Kalia then gets fed the eff up and just explains that the veterans are using their spies too and that it’s OK with them if Shelly and Porsche play both sides of the house because that helps them. She doesn’t actually use their names, but it’s obvious what she’s saying, and it’s obvious that she’s 100 percent right. Jeff and Jordan LOVE that Shelly does exactly what Brendon accuses Kalia of doing, which is to get info then run back to her bosses and gives them the scoop.
-After plenty of fighting, Dani chimes in by calling Rachel an idiot, which sends Brendon off. Dani then admits to plotting to backdoor Jeff, but she adds that Rachel and Brendon were on board with this plan. They don’t actually deny it, and Rachel’s big response is to call her “ridiculous.”
Kalia tries to be an adult about the fight, but Rachel shakes her head “No” and Brendon makes a joke about it, proving that maybe they aren’t adults. Jeff then rides his moral high horse into the conversation about how he doesn’t play dirty and doesn’t lie, which is the biggest lie. Dani then says she’s not here to be a part of a dictatorship, which is as pointed a dig at the other veterans as we’ll get.
Adam gives the token, nice guy, “I know I’m safe” speech. Dominic calls out the “spineless jellyfish” who don’t have any chance of winning (careful not to mention Shelly and Porsche by name), and then mockingly “congratulates” the veterans on winning with absolutely no opposition. He’s angry that no one other than Daniele has balls in this house, and he’s right. You don’t get more passive-aggressive than that.
Jeff votes to evict…DOMINIC (and mocks Dom’s speech, proving that he’s every bit as much a condescending d-bag as Brendon)
Jordan votes to evict…DOMINIC
Kalia votes to evict…DOMINIC (with tears in her eyes)
Daniele votes to evict…ADAM (because “I’m not afraid to go against the king and the queen – you go, girl!)
Brendon votes to evict…DOMINIC
Shelly votes to evict…DOMINIC
Lawon votes to evict…DOMINIC
Porsche votes to evict…DOMINIC (and proudly calls herself a jellyfish)
DOMINIC IS EVICTED 7-1.
While he leaves, Porsche proudly says she called herself a jellyfish during her vote, which makes me hate her even more. In his interview, Dominic seems pretty cool. Julie Chen calls him out for throwing the PoV competition. Dominic brilliantly explains that he and Dani targeted Jeff because they knew Jordan wouldn’t retaliate the same way Brendon or Rachel would.
In the goodbye messages, Dani is genuinely sad to see him go and Lawon is loud and funny. Jordan is a goof and mocks Rachel saying that no one comes between her and her man.
Julie Chen calls the HGs for some big news. Now it’s an individual game, but Chen ominously says that there will be more twists later, though she refuses to give any details. The HGs are already paranoid enough, but now the Chenbot is essentially saying “There are no monsters under your bed, but there ARE monsters somewhere else.”
It’s endurance, and it’s nearly identical to the surfboard challenge from last season, except now they’re on skis and they sway back and forth. The last HG left standing wins. The first five HGs to fall each open a snowball which may contain $10,000, or something bad. I’m sure Brendon will bitch and moan about how this is unfair for taller, bigger people like him.
(Image courtesy of CBS)