Last week on Battlestar Galactica, Starbuck drove her crew nuts with her aimless search for Earth, but she at least got a good frakking during the journey.  Lee (Jamie Bamber) took some advice from Tom Zarek (Richard Hatch) and decided to stand up to Roslin, which may not work out as well as he hoped.  In the most shocking moment of the episode, Tory sent Cally straight out the airlock after she discovered the secret of the Galactica Cylons.

On tonight’s installment, “Escape Velocity,” Chief Tyrol reacts strangely to Cally’s death, and Baltar discovers that not everyone wants him to become a messianic cult leader.

The Galactica crew is attending Cally’s funeral.  After a moving speech from Tyrol, Roslin lets Adama know that she’d like to have a similar service when the cancer finally does her in.  As everyone files out of the room, Tyrol (Aaron Douglas) pays a bit too much attention to Tory and Tigh, making them worry that he’s going to snap and expose them all.  They later meet up, where Tory tries to explain to Tyrol that he doesn’t have to feel guilt over Cally’s “suicide.”  She thinks he’s absolutely perfect, and that their kind doesn’t need notions such as guilt weighing them down.  Tory seems crazier in every episode, doesn’t she?

Tigh goes to the brig to let Six (Tricia Helfer) know that her request to see Hera has been denied.  Just as he’s about to leave, he imagines Six turning into his deceased wife.  It looks like Ellen is haunting Tigh’s thoughts.  I’m sure going to the funeral of a fellow Cylon’s wife didn’t help any.

Crazy Tory visits Baltar (James Callis) in his den of seduction, and because she’s crazy she starts ripping hairs from his head one by one.  I guess that’s her version of foreplay.  She starts talking about sin, God, pain, pleasure, and all that good stuff.  Her seduction is soon interrupted when a group of men burst in and start throttling people while they search for Baltar.  They’re scared off when they’re aware they might get caught, but they claim they’ll be back for Gaius.

As the mess gets cleared up, Baltar realizes that a fundamentalist splinter group called the Sons of Aries are responsible for the attack.  They’re not fond of his new obsession with spreading the word of the One True God.  Six says that the Old Gods are fighting back, but of course she has faith that Baltar can take them on all by himself.  To get the One God versus Many Gods brawl brewing, Gaius announces that he’s taking a stand.  He bursts into a Galactica church service, starts screaming about Zeus being a rapist, tosses things around and nearly causes a riot.  It isn’t long before some soldiers haul him off to the brig.

Due to a mistake that Tyrol made while tuning up the ships, some random nuggets almost crash their Raptor aboard the Galactica.  The nuggets see it as a simple mistake, but Tyrol beats himself up for it anyway.  They try to tell him that he’s only human, but obviously that old chestnut doesn’t go over so well.

In one of the few scenes in this episode that doesn’t feature crazy people, Adama (Edward James Olmos) visits Roslin with a new book to read to her.  They get into a conversation about Baltar, and though Adama suggests moving him off the Galactica, Roslin thinks that they should keep him nearby.  She goes to visit Gaius in the brig, which is where Tigh is currently chatting with Six.  He sees her turn into Ellen again, and he asks her how it’s possible to live with what she’s done in her life.  He wants forgiveness for his own sins, but ultimately he doesn’t want it from a toaster.  He insists that he’s nothing like Six, even if they’re both made of flesh and blood.

Roslin (Mary McDonnell) visits Baltar and tells him that she’ll do everything to find the people who attacked him.  She also explains that she’s dying, and therefore is no longer in the mood to indulge him or go easy on him.  She agrees to release him, but if he messes up again she’ll probably toss him out of an airlock.

Adama tries to comfort Tyrol in Joe’s Bar, but unfortunately the Chief is quickly losing his mind.  He claims that he only married Cally because he couldn’t have Boomer (Grace Park).  He settled for her and her “vacant eyes” and terrible stench.  Adama wants to know what the hell is wrong with him, and when the Chief continues to make a scene, the Admiral fires him from his position.  He can get reassigned to a position that doesn’t require sanity in the morning.

Much like last week, Lee is standing up to Roslin regarding her political decisions.  She’s passing an order that will forbid Baltar from hanging out with his cult, but others are worried that the law could cause trouble for other small religions.  Roslin agrees to let them vote on it, but she reminds everyone how dangerous Gaius can be when he has any kind of power.

Tigh (Michael Hogan) is still spending the day in the brig with Six, where he imagines Ellen talking to him once again.  She’s going to teach him how to turn off his pain, and she starts by punching him numerous times in the face.  Meanwhile, Baltar tries to return to his cult of sexy ladies, but a soldier stops him thanks to Roslin’s new law.  Six encourages him to ignore the orders of the soldier, but that just gets him whacked in the face with the butt of a gun over and over again.  Before Gaius can get his brain smashed in, Lee arrives and announces that the Quorum shot down Roslin’s order.  Baltar is free to go back to his cult.

During her cancer treatment, Roslin rants to Adama about his son’s antics and then settles in for another book reading.  The story Adama reads is about a man trying to fill the emptiness in his soul, which is what everyone is trying to do this week.  Tigh is finding what he needs through Six, and Baltar’s followers are finding it in his inspiring speech about love and God.  He claims that God only loves those who are perfect, and all of them are perfect exactly how they are.  Baltar now has a whole group who absolutely love him and worship everything he says.  Scary, isn’t it?

– Don Williams, BuddyTV Staff Writer
(Image courtesy of the Sci Fi Channel)

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Staff Writer, BuddyTV