If you thought The Bachelor was over when the finale aired, then boy oh boy, you must be new around here. The news (if we can call it that) about what’s up with Brad, Emily and Ashley just keeps going.

If you want all the scoop but none of the calories, this bite-sized Bachelor roundup is for you:

The Bachelor:

Brad’s making an ass of himself on Twitter:
Not literally. His userpic is of a cartoon donkey holding a rose. Get it? Funnily enough, Brad’s ability to make fun of himself on his new micro-blog is what makes me think he isn’t such a goon after all. Now where was this good-natured jokester on The Bachelor all season?! So far he’s revealed: He and Emily (@RickisMommy) are still going strong, despite tabloid claims that they’ve broken up, he’d like to take the editor of OK! out for a drink, and he’s a big fan of Kings of Leon and the Black Keys.

Brad’s ex is still calling him names: Laurel. Girlfriend. No matter what you think of Brad, it’s over. Calling the dude “scary” and “volatile” is just making you look bitter and petty. Save the name-calling for your poetry, not the press.

The Bachelorette:

SPOILER ALERT! Reality Steve reveals 12 of Ashley’s dudes: Plus, thanks to the wonders of the internet, he’s got pictures and websites to go along with their names. In an effort to save space, I’ll let you meander over there for now to see the photos, but here’s what we know about these 12 so far:

  • Stephen D’Amico: From Manhattan Beach, CA; a stylist at Hush Hush Hair Salon.
  • Ryan “Mickey” McLean: 30; a chef from Ohio; was named Cosmo’s Hottest Bachelor in 2010.
  • Rob Dahm: 28; computer company owner from Michigan.
  • Nick Peterson: From Tampa, FL; played minor-league baseball for the Yankees; personal trainer at Peety’s Personal Training.
  • Mike Burns: 29-year-old health-care sales rep in San Diego; rumored to get dumped night one.
  • Frank Carpenter: Assistant director of admissions at the Art Institute of Nashville; graduated from Middle Tennessee State University in 2008, where he was a cheerleader; sings and ballroom dances for fun.
  • Chris Drish: 25; account manager at a Chicago law firm.
  • Blake Julian: A dentist in Greenville, SC; graduated from University of Missouri in Kansas City in 2010.
  • Ben Flajnik: Co-owns a winery in Sonoma, CA.
  • Ben Castoriano: 27; New Orleans attorney. Below, he’s the guy on the flash mob one-on-one date with Ashley.
  • Anthony Santucci: 27 and from New Jersey.
  • Bentley Williams: 28; in finance; originally from Tampa; now lives in Alpine, Utah. He’s a divorced, with a 2-year-old daughter, and graduated Brigham Young University in 2007.

Steve’s also got more spoilers about the beginning of Ashley’s Bachelorette season, which began filming last week (and begins airing in late May). Sounds like she’ll be starting off with 25 men, and they’ll bounce around in California and Vegas before heading to Thailand later in the season. On one of her dates, Ashley takes suitor Ben to an outdoor mall, where she surprises him with a flash mob performance. Press was on the scene to get their first soundbites from Ashley about the season. Check out this short clip of Ashley at her date with Access Hollywood:

Last and totally least: Ashley’s sister is going to be on Extreme Couponing. Reality TV runs in the family now.

(Image courtesy of ABC)

Meghan Carlson

Senior Writer, BuddyTV

Meghan hails from Walla Walla, WA, the proud home of the world’s best sweet onions and Adam West, the original Batman. An avid grammarian and over-analyzer, you can usually find her thinking too hard about plot devices in favorites like The OfficeIt’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and How I Met Your Mother. In her spare time, Meghan enjoys drawing, shopping, trying to be funny (and often failing), and not understanding the whole Twilight thing. She’s got a BA in English and Studio Art from Whitman College, which makes her a professional arguer, daydreamer, and doodler.