This is definitely the most talented season of American Idol so far, so I don’t really want to call anyone “dead weight,” but … let’s just say I don’t think we’ll need The Save for a while. This week, the Top 12 performed songs from the year they were born. It should have been great, but it was a little boring. I wasn’t sure who was the best, but I predicted Naima will be going home.

Oh, and pretty much everyone disagreed with my opinions of the performances, which is OK because it’s American Idol and we have the freedom to vote and choose who will be The Next Lee DeWyze. But I think most of us can agree that Naima will be going home tonight, with one Wild Card down, or maybe it will be Haley, or maybe there will be a delightful upset!

One thing we can be sure of: Ryan Seacrest will try to get creative with the results and abuse the fake-out. Last week he faked out Karen and Haley, in the wrong way. BuddyTV commenter DiddyFreemantle2 had the best idea for a fake-out tonight, suggesting that Ryan say,
“Jacob, you are in the bottom three … is what I would be saying if you were Karen.”

I love it! I hope Peaches will continue to confound us all season.

In celebration of “Year of Birth Week” (eww), Ryan made us look at a baby picture of Lee DeWyze. Then … the group performance! This is my favorite part of the evening, because it’s so weird. And it looks like they’re singing live! Jacob Lusk entered late on a phrase, and everyone seems breathless and tired. The performance is some sort of guys vs. girls “Born This Way”/”Born to Be Wild” mash-up. Oh, I get it, because it’s “Year You Were BORN” week!

If some of your predictions are correct and Haley is going home tonight, I will be sad because she’s my favorite snazzy dresser. Speaking of snazzy dressers, Steven Tyler is the queen of Mardi Gras tonight. In the Ford music video, the contestants are watching themselves in movie previews at a drive-in movie theater in Ford Focuses. It’s very meta.

Fordmetavideo.jpgNow we get to learn more about these kids and stuff we don’t know about them. Did you know that Karen Rodriguez is fluent in Spanish and English? Or that Scotty McCreery does a terrible Australian accent? Did you know Pia and Paul both have dogs? That was SO MUCH FUN!

Time to break some hearts. DIM THE LIGHTS, KAREN! There was a weird Irish moment, and the humor was lost on everyone on stage.

AmericanIdolirishluck.jpgJacob, Casey and Lauren are first to center stage. “Hey judges, how do you fix pitch problems?” “Just don’t be flat or sharp.” Randy is good at advice. Jacob, Lauren and Casey are safe. Ryan stretched it out by telling Casey, “You are in … the same boat as Jacob and Lauren!”

Haley and Paul are next to the center. I like Haley’s hair feather and I find myself wanting one, even though I know in my heart I would look like a douche if I tried to wear one. One is safe, and one is in the bottom three. Haley is in the bottom three, and Paul is safe. That’s two in a row for Haley, and I’m actually sad about it. I think she’s still finding her style and she’s never boring.

Pit Bull and Marc Anthony are in the audience, and I’m more excited about that than Lee DeWyze’s performance of a song I’ve never heard. And I still may never hear it because I need an effing ear horn to hear Lee DeWyze whispering out this song. He tells Ryan Seacrest that he’s “livin’ it up” and it’s “great to be back.” He’s like that guy who still hangs around the high school after he graduates.

LeeDeWyzegladtobeback.jpgHave you ever heard Ryan Seacrest so whiny as when he said, “Well, you DID IT!” in response to the audience booing Haley’s placement in the bottom three?
LOCK THEM DOORS AND TURN THEM LIGHTS DOWN LOW, KAREN! Scotty, James and Pia are next up, and Pia looks absolutely stunning tonight. Scotty, Pia and James are all safe. Of course! James keeps pulling faces and not the Tourette’s kind.

Stefano and Naima are next up, and one is safe and the other is in the bottom three. Predictably, Naima is in the bottom three and Stefano is safe. I like Naima all over again once she admitted her “passionate hatred for the word ‘pitchy’.”

Karen and Thia meet Seacrest next. Thia is also wearing hair feathers (they’re just taunting me now). Thia is safe, and Karen is in the bottom three. Once again, Karen’s results were masked by applause for the safe contestants. “That’s how it went down!” Ryan tells us, like we just tuned in. At least he made quick work of it.

Americahasspoken.jpgBefore we knew it, Fergie was sitting on a white piano for Japan. I appreciate that she painted her nails green for St. Patrick’s Day — I hear Will.I.Am is a pincher! What of the other two Black Eyed Peas? Oh, there they are! My favorite part was the woman breaking up with the lecherous mime behind them.

mimebreakup.jpgTo help the relief effort in Japan you can text REDCROSS to 90999, “but back to the critical moment on stage,” Ryan says with a classy segue.

Ryan announces that Naima is safe! “WHAT!” I said to no one in particular. The person America would like to go home is Karen Rodriguez. Haley is safe, and Karen will be singing for The Save.

Karen sings “Hero,” and while I don’t think the judges should use The Save, I feel sad about her leaving. She looks much less intimidating tonight. I’m surprised it’s not Naima, but at least Naima isn’t boring. In the end, I think song choice did Karen in. Myspace, “Hero,” Selena, she’s just not very current.

Karengetstheboot.jpgThe judges decide not to use The Save. They were not unanimous, but J. Lo’s Latina bias was overruled. The audience booed. I may miss Karen’s mom most of all.
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(Images courtesy of FOX)

Carla Patton

Writer, BuddyTV

Originally from Seattle, Carla recently took a husband and moved to Austin, Texas, where she is finally using her television “problem” to her advantage. It’s sort of like Dexter, but boring and less murdering. Carla’s favorite shows include 30 RockThe Amazing RaceProject RunwayModern Family, anything with murder, and pretty much anything gross and weird (CSIThe BachelorToddlers & Tiaras, etc.). Favorite canceled shows include: Arrested DevelopmentVeronica Mars and Average Joe. In her spare time, Carla leads tours of downtown Austin on a Segway (don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it!), blogs about Netflix Instant, and visits elementary schools telling children they don’t need math to succeed (just kidding, stay in school, kids).