This week’s performances were so good, I have no idea who will be moving on (and who will get a second chance in the Wild Card show). At the beginning of the results show, we were forced to relive the Kinetic King’s total and utter failure. Ouch, my embarrassment hurts.

First to the stage for results are Frank Miles, Avery and the Calico Hearts, Taylor Davis, and Fatally Unique. Four acts, eh? I hope Frank Miles is in, or maybe Fatally Unique. Fatally Unique moves on, proving that America loves large dance groups this season. I hope they bring Frank Miles back for a Wild Card show.

For whatever reason, there was a segment on Howie Mandel wandering around, being a total jag. Take me back to the Orville Redenbacher room! But instead, we were taken to a Jason Derulo performance. I guess that will have to do! Jason started out on a balcony, as his private dancer gyrated below. But then Jason came out in a sleeveless shirt to stomp around his wasted friends on couches. The wasted friends woke up to do some more gyrating. All in all a pretty good day for Jason Derulo.

Next to the stage: Zuma Zuma and Yellow Designs Stunt Team. It will probably be Zuma Zuma, right? Or maybe both? Zuma Zuma is through to the semi-finals. More animal print to come!

Scott Alexander, Team iLuminate, and Sam B meet Nick Cannon next. It’s obviously Team iLuminate, but I love Sam B SO MUCH! I’m lukewarm on Scott Alexander. Team iLuminate is through, as we all foresaw. Sharon said it was obvious, too.

Then Maroon 5 performed. Adam Levine just wants to remind you he’s still on NBC.

There’s one spot left, and three acts: Charles Peachock, The Kinetic King, and Melissa Villasenor. The Kinetic King is out immediately, despite my husband’s maximum allotted votes for him (and he never votes for anything!). So it’s down to sometimes shirtless Charles Peachock, and fabulous impressionist Melissa Villasenor. Melissa is adorable, but on the other hand, Charles might murder you with his juggling!

The judges must decide, after making long speeches. Sharon votes for Melissa, Piers votes for Charles, so of course it’s up to long-winded Howie. Howie votes for Melissa Villasenor, so surely we’ll see Charles Peachock in the Wild Card show.

Next week, it’s the YouTube acts! It’s sure to be kind of good sometimes, and other times disastrous. But hey, last year YouTube gave us Jackie Evancho, so you never know.

(image courtesy of NBC)