The last group of 12 from the Las Vegas round performs tonight and it is going to be a doozy. Nick Cannon had to come down from a crane because of the first act. So there was no huge fanfare for the judges, which I was ok with.

Oh man, blunder of all blunders. My boyfriend, the Kinetic King, had an absolutely disastrous performance. I mean, it was literally the worst thing I have ever seen happen on live TV. He gave up halfway through, just saying, “oh well.” Then a confused Nick Cannon came in and kicked over a stack of cups. Oh man, that was such a bummer. He is still my boyfriend, though. Man, that is unfortunate. At least he embraces the fact that it failed big. I might have to watch it over and over again.

Zuma Zuma will make it all better. These Kenyans got it going on. Instead of zebra print, they’re wearing cheetah print. Oh man, this is so dope. When that guy flew through the air and caught himself on that pole by his legs? This act is a total contender!

Avery and the Calico Hearts should do the voices for the Chipettes. Anyone remember the Chipettes? Avery and the Calico Hearts don’t. They love Justin Bieber. This act is not my cup of tea, but I don’t think I’m the target audience here. Like, it’s not for me, so it’s not for me to judge. Maybe I’m still sad about the Kinetic King. Howie thinks they should be their own Saturday morning show (the Chipettes!). Piers thinks it’s a little early for them, since this is now a “proper competition.”

Maybe Charles Peachock, Juggling’s husband, can juggle his way into the semi-finals, unlike jugglers before him. It involves a piano. Sharon gave him an X almost immediately. He played the cancan with surprising success with tennis balls on a special juggling piano. I could have done without the dancers in front, though. Then they ripped his shirt off (which prompted the second X) and he played Jailhouse Rock even better than he played the cancan. But come on with the dancers and the shirt ripping off. That’s just weird. Piers liked it, Sharon didn’t understand it. I didn’t like Charles Peachock’s attitude, either.

Sam B!! I usually hate stuff like this, but I think Sam B is in on it, and it’s just the most joyful thing I’ve seen on reality TV in a long time. I hope AGT doesn’t take away the spark of Sam B that won us over originally. He had tear-away clothes, but to greater effect than Charles Peachock. Ahhhh why do I love it so much? Sam B is just pure joy and energy, and it doesn’t feel like the judges are making fun of him behind his back.

Who is Taylor Davis again? He’s the shy one? He works at the Gap? And of course he’s playing “Falling Slowly” from Once. This song is at a close second behind “Hallelujah” in the category of most manipulative/popular songs to sing in a talent competition. It wasn’t great, and Piers seemed impatient with it, giving him an X almost immediately. Sharon thinks not a lot of people know this song. Hm.

Oh man, I love Melissa Villasenor. I hope she does well, and doesn’t incorporate the dancers. Comedians generally don’t do well on this show, but I think she’s got the stuff, and she’s smart enough not to use the dancers. I like that they cut to Nick Cannon on her Mariah Carey impression. And oh my god, her Britney impression is dead on. Love her. Piers got busted when he tried to give criticism but forgot that they moved her straight through from Vegas. I hope she makes it through, and I’d love to see where else she can take it.

Will Scott Alexander be the magician to make it through? He seems like he has the experience and showmanship. He put a gospel choir in front of his act and then he made them disappear. They showed up in the balcony. It had a good show level, even if it was a bit more of a basic trick. It was fun and had a good Las Vegas quality.

Is there room for another large dance group in the semi-finals? Fatally Unique hopes so. Of all the dance groups, they are probably my favorite. I wish my favorite acts had been a little more spread out over the four weeks, rather than all in this show. They always do this. I much prefer Fatally Unique’s costuming choices this time, as opposed to last time. They looked much higher budget. They made good use of the pyrotechnics and light effects, too.

I sort of forgot Yellow Designs Stunt Team was an act in this. There’s a lot of motorcycle/bmx acts this season. They did a circus thing, which is cool, but I almost forgot to watch the stunts with everything going on. It was a lot going on, but it was a very well-designed show. There was one trick they didn’t land, but overall it was great. It’s a shame there are so many good acts tonight.

Frank Miles risks his life to celebrate the fact that he continues to live. He has broken like, all his ribs, and had to hike off a mountain like that. Oh my god! Tonight he will be setting off a crossbow chain reaction, but hopefully it won’t go like the Kinetic King’s chain reaction did (didn’t). He started out making an insurance joke that the audience didn’t totally get, but we stayed with him because FIVE CROSSBOWS. He’s funny and exciting! I love him. In the end, he saved his life, and the jelly donut.

Team iLuminate gets the pimp spot to close out the show. It’s the dance team that wears light suits. It’s a lot like Fighting Gravity, but there’s more tech and dancing involved. I didn’t think their audition was the best thing I’d ever seen the first time, like Piers did, but they really stepped it up this time. It was awesome! The judges couldn’t get it enough. Piers and Howie agreed that it was the best of the night, and possibly the whole season.

(image courtesy of NBC)

Carla Patton

Writer, BuddyTV

Originally from Seattle, Carla recently took a husband and moved to Austin, Texas, where she is finally using her television “problem” to her advantage. It’s sort of like Dexter, but boring and less murdering. Carla’s favorite shows include 30 RockThe Amazing RaceProject RunwayModern Family, anything with murder, and pretty much anything gross and weird (CSIThe BachelorToddlers & Tiaras, etc.). Favorite canceled shows include: Arrested DevelopmentVeronica Mars and Average Joe. In her spare time, Carla leads tours of downtown Austin on a Segway (don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it!), blogs about Netflix Instant, and visits elementary schools telling children they don’t need math to succeed (just kidding, stay in school, kids).