It should surprise no one that Jersey Shore’s The Situation totally tanked at Comedy Central’s Roast of Donald Trump last night. What surprises me is that they asked him in the first place. What did they expect? They clearly let him write his own material, judging from these “jokes” TMZ found out got cut from the broadcast, given their insanely racist, offensive (and unfunny) nature:

“Yo Snoop, what up dawg … you know you have so much in common with Donald Trump? Trump’s ancestors were into real estate … and your ancestors were considered property.”

 “I’m not from New Jersey … I was born in Staten Island which is a New York borough … not to be confused with the burro Marlee Matlin bl*ws onstage in Tijuana.”

“Relax, she didn’t even hear it … I mean hey, at least her mouth is good for something right? Hey, that was definitely some great work Marlee … have you ever done anything else actually?”

He made more terrible cracks at the expense of Larry King which you can read at the link above, but some of his worst material still made it to air. The only video I’ve been able to find of his full aired speech is below, and it’s got all the markings of one that will be taken down very soon. So watch it while you still can, and bask in the unglory of The Situation’s terrible attempt at standup:

WOW. I have to admit I’m still a little surprised at just how hard he bombed. I mean, the jokes on Jersey Shore aren’t exactly gems of wit, but I always thought Mike had a certain understanding of timing and word choice. The man could make a solid sex pun in his sleep. Maybe he just needs his jokes to be more organic. (Organic = written and performed while on reality TV.)

Aaaand speaking of men associated with Jersey Shore who should not be encouraged, Snooki’s ex Jeff Miranda (Who? I don’t know and I refuse to find out) called her a “Jersey whore” in his new “club single” in which he proves how little he cares about her and Jersey Shore by “singing” (?) incessantly about her and Jersey Shore.

Meanwhile, Snooki was busy comin’ at WWE ladies like a spidermonkey on Monday Night Raw and getting in a Twitter fight with Ne-Yo.

That’ll do, Jersey Shore. That’ll do.

(Image: Comedy Central)

Meghan Carlson

Senior Writer, BuddyTV

Meghan hails from Walla Walla, WA, the proud home of the world’s best sweet onions and Adam West, the original Batman. An avid grammarian and over-analyzer, you can usually find her thinking too hard about plot devices in favorites like The OfficeIt’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and How I Met Your Mother. In her spare time, Meghan enjoys drawing, shopping, trying to be funny (and often failing), and not understanding the whole Twilight thing. She’s got a BA in English and Studio Art from Whitman College, which makes her a professional arguer, daydreamer, and doodler.