Despite Blaine creeping out most of us in last week’s “Silly Love Songs,” it does otherwise feel like Glee is trying to stage a comeback (though, is it ever good news if a show’s only in its second season and is having to stage a comeback?). So what better way to hit us over the head with the idea than with an episode entitled “The Comeback”?  Let’s break it down, shall we?

First off, lo and behold — Will is teaching Spanish! Yeah, yeah, I know. He’s always been the Spanish teacher, but we’ve hardly seen him putting in the hours. So 1) we learn he’s not a liar and 2) we learn that regresar means “to come back” in Spanish. The more you know …  

And Will himself feels like he’s having a comeback after getting Sue’s Cheerios funding and getting over Emma (when did that happen? Presumably off-camera, where he’s also been teaching kids how to conjugate verbs in Spanish all this time). But, speak of the devil, a worried Emma bursts into the room, says she needs Will, and he’s off and running.  

So where’s the fire? 

Sueicide.JPGDepressed over losing her Cheerios funding, Sue’s faked a suicide attempt with gummy vitamins and an ability to stop her own heart.

Now I’m a Belieber

Elsewhere, we find an oddly likeable Sam confirming his date to go paint pottery with Cheater Quinn, who has insanely convinced Sam that she got mono not from kissing Finn but from saving his life by sucking a gumball out of his windpipe. Yep, this is the same girl who convinced Finn that he had impregnated her via not sex but hot tub. I’ve got to ask: Why have we never hated her before? And how are these guys so dumb? 

Of course, it’s not that these guys are dumb — maybe — it’s just that they don’t want to lose Quinn, who is such a prize because … ? So Sam takes his dad’s advice on the two ways to get a woman to love you: Take her hunting and rock’n’roll. And, according to Sam, who’s more rock and roll than Justin Bieber? The answer: my grandma.  

Anyway, so a lost Sam forms his one-man band, the Justin Bieber Experience, and takes it, his pushed forward locks and purple hoodie on the road to a screaming room of girls at a bat mitzvah.  

Someone else trying to make a trendy mark in this episode is Rachel. She already has the voice and diva ‘tude going for her, but she also wants to be a style icon, inspiring her to pay Brittany to make a signature look of hers popular — like leg warmers — but, of course, sweet Brittany wears them on her arms instead, a look that then sweeps the school.  

armwarmers.JPGAn enraged and faux-depressed Sue returns to school and threatens to hang herself, which Emma responds to by whipping out a pamphlet …

Pamphlet.JPG… and suggesting she join glee club to lift her spirits. The kids aren’t up for giving Sue a chance, but Schue pep-talks them into it. He then reveals that regionals have a theme that has to be worked into the routine this year — anthems (aka the bottom of an ant’s pants) — and theirs better be good if they’re going to beat Kurt (sweet Porcelain) and the Warblers.

Sam jumps up as he’s already got an anthem all ready to go, to which Schue responds, “Oh hey, Sam, I didn’t even notice your new haircut.” I swear I thought he was going to say, I didn’t even notice you, Sam — ever. Anywho, he sings Biebs, and all the ladies swoon, leading Artie, Mike and Puck to want to join the Justin Bieber Experience to give their relationships a jolt. 

Schue-Horned-In Story Lines

Elsewhere, Sue starts rolling out her plan to destroy the glee club from within by turning the members against each other, igniting a diva war between Mercedes and Rachel. It’s a diva off, bitches! An anticlimactic diva off, though. Sigh. The two are friends again by the end of the song. Sorry, Sue. And sorry to myself and other viewers because this story line felt pretty half-hearted anyway.

Finn, who hasn’t bought into Bieber fever, asks Quinn about getting together Friday night. She tells him she hasn’t decided about her relationship with Sam yet — that is, until the newly expanded Justin Bieber Experience debuts another number from the Biebs, inspiring Quinn to stand by her man Sam.  However, the meaningful look Santana gave Sam at the end of last week’s episode comes back to haunt us, as she saunters up to Sam and says they should talk soon. 

Later Quinn tells Finn she made her choice but then gives him totally mixed signals by seductively whispering to him that Sam being an artist turns her on — which makes Finn push his hair forward into man-bangs and start wearing a hoodie a la the Biebs too.

Schue decides to give Sue a little inspiration for her own comeback by taking her to the pediatric cancer ward to sing with the kids there. It was really a sweet moment, but I didn’t entirely get it in the grand scheme of the episode.  

Back at school, the Rachel look catches on, but everyone attributes it to Brittany. 

Rachellook.JPGWhich naturally infuriates Rachel. I’m totally over the Rachel wants to be a trendsetter storyline in this ep. Is this not jiving to anyone else? 

Elsewhere, Santana and Sam finally have their talk. She offers to be Sam’s mistress, and being the aw-shucks nice guy he is, he says he’s dating Quinn. She clues him in that the gumball story was insane and that Quinn cheated on him. She tells him that hooking up with her will give him a chance to give himself some buzz at this school (didn’t being on the football team and dating Quinn do that?) and show up Finn. 

Somehow, Santana telling him Quinn cheated sinks into his blond skull, and he tells Quinn that he’s not her boyfriend anymore: “You can’t look me in the eye right now and tell me that you didn’t make out with Finn.” Which makes total sense. And then he drops the nonsensical bomb that he’s dating Santana now??? Dude, really, no need to buy the cow there. 

Inspired by her visit to the cancer ward, Sue suggests singing a real anthem with the kids, which goes over like gangbusters. However, post-performance Rachel doesn’t think that the My Chemical Romance song is good enough for regionals, suggesting they write their own music for regionals (Rachel, have you learned nothing from American Idol? The original song bit never goes over well). But Rachel’s outvoted. 

However, she’s earned some respect from Finn (why she wants it, I have no idea), who tells her he likes seeing the driven, focused Rachel making a comeback. 

Later Sue tells Schue just how much he inspired her in her own comeback — so much so that she’s become the new coach of Aural Intensity, New Directions’ competition at regionals (um, how? When? What?).

Is this really what a Glee comeback looks like? I had higher hopes after last week’s episode but am feeling like we hit another plateau this week — in everything except for all of the sugary sweet, delicious Bieber music! (Yes, I’m serious.) Onto the best part of this episode …

The Music

3465121_ae8375de-e027-4a4c-b766-f26715c22edf-213glee-ep213-sc15-052.jpg

Justin Bieber’s “Baby” sung by Sam

This is the first time I ever realized there were more words in this song other than “baby.” And in the words of Tina, this is actually a really good song. I was lukewarm on Sam’s dance moves, but the singing was super-cute. Definitely one of the best of the night for me. I think this officially makes me a Belieber. 

Justin Bieber’s “Somebody to Love” sung by Sam, Puck, Mike and Artie

Whoa, is Mike actually singing? I can’t hear his voice, per se, but I see his lips moving. Really liked the expanded Justin Bieber Experience but could have done without the chalk throwing effects. 

Rent‘s “Take Me or Leave Me” sung by Mercedes and Rachel

Love this song and love Rent, so I’m totally biased. But I think the girls killed it. 

“This Little Light of Mine” sung by Will, Sue and the hospital kids

Super, super sweet. 

The Waitresses’ “I Know What Boys Like” sung by Lauren

Super, super weird. And I kind of think Lauren looks like a vampire from Buffy the Vampire Slayer when she takes off her glasses. 

My Chemical Romance’s “Sing” sung by the glee kids and Sue

Awesome energy and a great ensemble performance — nice to see no one showboating for once. 

(Images courtesy of FOX)

More “Comeback”:

Discuss: What is Santana up to?

Discuss: Love Lauren or hate Lauren?

Quiz: Ten questions on Bieber and Sue-icide

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Jen Harper

Editor, BuddyTV