Ranking the New 'Big Brother 13' Houseguests: Who's the Worst?
Ranking the New 'Big Brother 13' Houseguests: Who's the Worst?
John Kubicek
John Kubicek
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
Big Brother 13 is going to be different from all other seasons because there are only eight new houseguests, with the remaining slots being filled by returning "dynamic duos." I love the chance to meet a new group of people every summer, so I'm quite disappointed that Big Brother is wasting our time by bringing up memorably controversial figures from past seasons just to stir up some drama.

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However, that won't stop me from analyzing and picking favorites when it comes to the new crop of HGs. You can check out video interviews on CBS.com or at WeLoveBigBrother.com.

I've looked at the eight new HGs and determined which ones I love (sassy older ladies) and which ones I can't stand (flighty, sexy young chicks). Here are my first impression rankings, from my least favorite to my most favorite.

#8 Cassi: This professional model has never watched Big Brother before and the producers approached her to be on the show. In other words, she didn't actually audition, which is the quickest way to make the diehard fans resent you. She also has a southern accent that already drives me crazy, especially since it's not fun and silly like Jordan. Instead, Cassi's accent makes her seem more like one of those fake pageant girls.

#7 Lawon: In his official CBS interview, he describes himself as "handsomexy," a combination of handsome and sexy. While I admire his confidence, you only need to take one look at his photo to know that he clearly has a distorted view of himself, because he is neither of those things. Also, based on his interview and his clothes, he comes across like he's auditioning to be the gay neighbor on Sanford and Son, which isn't as hilariously cool as it sounds.

#6 Porsche: She's a VIP cocktail waitress (just like Rachel from season 12, or a Tiger Woods mistress). For that reason alone, I'm not on her side. But even worse, in the videos I've seen of her, she seems kind of bland and boring.

#5 Keith: All you need to know about this guy is that he was a contestant on the Internet reality series Genuine Ken hosted by Whitney Port, a show looking for "the great American boyfriend." He's painfully cocky and thinks he's the nicest, best guy ever.

#4 Dominic: This seemingly flighty 25-year-old model still lives at home with his parents, so he definitely lacks maturity. I feel like he might be able to coast by on a regular season, but this year seems to have more mature and experienced people, especially since several past HGs are coming back.

#3 Adam: He describes himself as a "heavy metal teddy bear," and that sounds about right. I love that he says he watches the live feeds and Big Brother: After Dark, because it means he understands the game, and he looks like one of those guys who will make it very far because others won't think he's a big physical threat since he's heavier and older than everyone else.

#2 Shelly: The senior citizen of the season (though she's only 41), she seems like a less colorful version of Renny. Shelly appears to be the cool mom, or at the very least, the cool aunt, a woman who embraces her mom jeans. She also knows the show and, in an interview with WeLoveBigBrother, she reveals that she hates floaters, which makes me like her a whole lot.

#1 Kalia: I'm kind of in love with this very, very busty woman already. She comes across like a non-crazy Wendy Williams, a fun-loving lady who is confident with herself and who is a student of the game of Big Brother.

Which of the newbies is your favorite, and who do you already hate?

(Image courtesy of CBS)