America’s Got Talent: the show that threatens to “unleash the talent,” then makes you wish for stricter talent leash laws. After the typical Howie Mandel buffoonery, the first act of the episode is duo Eric and Christlo. The audience booed their singing and dancing to TLC’s “Waterfalls,” but come on. Great song choice, and I appreciate their enthusiasm and hair. Howie kept from pressing his X because he likes to egg people on needlessly.

What a way to start things off. Chris, the Boy with the Wire Hair did “hair hanging,” and I just don’t understand why the audience booed him. He wasn’t THAT bad! Jenny Rocha and the Painted Ladies danced with big fake butts, making America proud. Magic of Mystique did some entry level magic, but at least his face was painted to make him look like … a dog? We’ll never know.

It looks like Fatally Unique Dance Team could actually have some talent. “Fatally Unique” though? Whatever, I’m not going to complain about having a decent act on this show. Piers was right about them needing new costumes, though. Also aboard the Talent Train is Ian Johnson, yo-yo expert. Tricky Jackson was extremely muscular, but is it a talent? Who cares, I’m just so glad it’s not this guy again. And let’s get real, Tricky Jackson is totally a male stripper.

Taylor Davis is a good singer. Of all the singers we’ve seen so far, I think he might be one of my favorites. I’d still love to see a magician or something really weird (a dog act! cat magic!) win this show. Tomahawk Tassels did a cute burlesque routine that I’m sure we’re only seeing because Howie had something cute to say about it. They’ve put other burlesque acts through but not this one? Outrage!

Do you sip olive oil? Then you have no idea what it’s like to be Cindy Chang, America’s Susan Boyle. She’s bubbly and charming and shy and pretty much everything America’s Got Talent loves. It was cute the way she got all embarrassed after singing so well. You go, Cindy Chang! You go all the way to Vegas and beyond.

Why did Piers X that awesome singing group? I like them, and I wish they’d gotten more screen time and a caption so I could remember their name.

YES! CAT PSYCHIC!! He was a lawyer but now he’s a magician with a cat. Yes, yes, 100 times yes to Fantastic Fig and Newton. I’m so glad he was really a good magician. He is my favorite act in the whole world!

Things are looking up on this show now, and maybe the cat psychic put me in just the right mood to see GTR (Girls That Rock) and love it. Were they better, worse, or just about the same in talent as Eric and Christlo? At least Nick Cannon came out and danced with them, but mark my words. They will never replace Sponjetta! Come back to us, Sponjetta!

If you don’t like kid acts, maybe you will like a kid on a motorcycle in a metal ball/cage. No one likes a good kid act like Piers, for whatever reason. The Fearless Flores Family is right up Piers’s alley.

“Don’t try this at home,” Nick Cannon warns us. Oh too bad, I was about to get on my tiny motorcycle and ride around in my very own giant metal cage! The danger was heightened by the length of that girl’s hair. Doesn’t she worry about it getting caught in the wheel or something? We’ll get to find out what she does with all that hair in Las Vegas.

Have you ever ridden a motorcycle with hair that long? Have you and your family ever worn matching sparkly vest suits? Can we just call this thing already and give it to Fantastic Fig? Oh and don’t think AGT can just get away with ending the show so awkwardly — with that little girl singing for Sharon Osbourne on the streets and being a weirdo about it. Unacceptably odd!

Next Tuesday is the start of Vegas week, which kicks off my favorite time in America’s Got Talent (the end of the auditions). Who are your early favorites?

(Image courtesy of NBC)

Carla Patton

Writer, BuddyTV

Originally from Seattle, Carla recently took a husband and moved to Austin, Texas, where she is finally using her television “problem” to her advantage. It’s sort of like Dexter, but boring and less murdering. Carla’s favorite shows include 30 RockThe Amazing RaceProject RunwayModern Family, anything with murder, and pretty much anything gross and weird (CSIThe BachelorToddlers & Tiaras, etc.). Favorite canceled shows include: Arrested DevelopmentVeronica Mars and Average Joe. In her spare time, Carla leads tours of downtown Austin on a Segway (don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it!), blogs about Netflix Instant, and visits elementary schools telling children they don’t need math to succeed (just kidding, stay in school, kids).