Big Brother 13 is packing a lot into these final episodes. The finale is on Wednesday, but first we need to see the last Power of Veto competition of the season, the last veto ceremony and the start of the three-part final HoH. Right now we have two newbies (Adam and Porsche) and two veterans (Jordan and Rachel).

Let’s get to the action!

Adam as HoH: Julie Chen gets a mildly good dig in about how Adam can’t follow the power anymore because he’s in charge. Even the Chenbot knows he’s a mega floater! He talks about how he kissed a lot of veteran butt and he hopes now they’ll kiss his butt. Does he not realize that the Power of Veto is all that matters this week? The HoH has absolutely no real power this week.

His HoH room is full of bacon and pictures of Tori Spelling and his girlfriend Fara. I wonder which of those three he loves the most. Oh who am I kidding, Fara finishes third.

Porsche tells Adam she wants to sit next to him in the finale, which I absolutely believe. Rachel has no desire to kiss a floater’s butt, so all she talks about is the Adam-Rachel-Jordan final 3. Jordan decides to say that Porsche doesn’t deserve to be in the final 3. Wow, where the hell does Jordan get the cojones to say that? She hasn’t done anything this season except let Jeff and Rachel drag her this far.

Nominations: Adam nominates Jordan and Porsche, not that it matters. This is officially the most pointless ceremony of the entire season, because the PoV winner is all that matters. His rationale is that Rachel has already taken herself off the block, so now Jordan and Porsche need to do it. In reality, he’s stroking Rachel’s ego hoping that she might vote for him at the end, He doesn’t say it, but that’s the only reason I can think of.

The Last Power of Veto Competition

Each HG sees a jukebox with 10 clues on each side. They need to stack blocks with the names of past HGs that match up with the clues. It’s a pretty intense and difficult puzzle that tests everyone’s mental toughness.

Porsche’s strategy, which is brilliant, plans out her answers first before putting them in position, because if you have one wrong, you need to take them all off. Adam and Rachel get frazzled and Jordan gets her token “dumb girl” music, which the editors use every time she’s in a competition.

Porsche gets her blocks in place first and buzzes in, but she has one wrong. Then she fixes it by remembering that Daniele had a Golden Key and buzzes in again, winning.

Porsche wins! Rachel cries (didn’t she just make fun of Kalia for doing that during the last veto competition?). Jordan is angry because she really wants Porsche out. Adam is happy that, once again, things are working out fairly well despite the fact that he didn’t do anything.

In the aftermath, Rachel cries about how she is going to disappoint Brendon while Jordan is actually smart enough to say that she deserves to go because she hasn’t done anything. Great, now it’s Jordan’s turn to give Rachel a pep talk about how she could still win.

Rachel wipes the tears away and campaigns by saying that both Rachel and Adam would take her to the end while Jordan and Adam would take each other if they’re in the finale. The scary part is that it totally makes sense. Porsche thinks she’d have a better shot against Jordan in the finale, but I don’t completely agree.

The Eviction

First it’s the Power of Veto ceremony, where Porsche obviously saves herself, because she’s no Marcellas and Rachel goes on the block.

Nominee Speeches: Rachel  talks about how much she loves everyone and how they’re all her friends. She then gets confused talking about Porsche saving her. Jordan actually says she knows she’s going home, which is so honest and unusual. Jordan also seems to throw Porsche under the bus while talking about how much she likes Adam and Rachel. Yikes!

PORSCHE VOTES TO EVICT JORDAN!

Jordan totally stole her thunder on that one. It might seem like a bad move to get rid of the weakest player, but I kind of like it, because evicting Jordan is actually a strong move that NO ONE ELSE is willing to make.

In Jordan’s interview with Julie, she admits that she knows nothing about Porsche as a person. She’s also forthcoming about not deserving it over Rachel. The goodbye messages are all nice, and Adam sucks up even more to ensure he can get her vote at the end. Rachel sobs about her “chickmance” with Jordan to go with the bromance of Jeff and Brendon.

The Final HoH Competition, Part 1

The three HGs stand on a giant mixer and must simply hold on while it spins around. It’s very similar to the paint can endurance competition from last season. But if past endurance competitions this season are any indication, this won’t last well into the night like Julie Chen promises.

BIG BROTHER 13 SPOILERS: See Who Wins Part 1 of the Final HoH Competition>>

The Big Brother 13 season finale airs Wednesday at 9:30pm and we’ll see everyone once again, even Evel Dick!

(Image courtesy of CBS)

John Kubicek

Senior Writer, BuddyTV

John watches nearly every show on TV, but he specializes in sci-fi/fantasy like The Vampire DiariesSupernatural and True Blood. However, he can also be found writing about everything from Survivor and Glee to One Tree Hill and Smallville.