We’re nearing the end of the blind auditions on The Voice, and you can tell because they’re running out of steam. Tonight’s episode features fewer singers than any other episode as just six people take the stage. Four of them make a team, two of them don’t, and by the end, all four coaches are tied with just two spots left on their teams.
If that description makes it sound boring, that’s because it is, with only one brief bright spot at the end.
Sylvia Yacoub (“Only Girl (In the World)” by Rihanna)
She’s an Egyptian who has law as a fallback career. She’s a great singer, but I can’t help but feel like becoming a lawyer would be a better career path than trying to win a singing competition. I’m such an old fogey.
Coaches: Cee Lo, Christina and Blake turn around. Blake tries to claim that Sylvia is a country name, but that dog don’t hunt. Cee Lo’s big pitch is “I want you to be on my team.” She joins Team Xtina.
I.J. Quinn (“Virtual Insanity” by Jamiroquai)
He’s a country boy working on a pig farm who looks exactly like Breaking Bad‘s Aaron Paul. EXACTLY. It’s kind of frightening. But he sounds like a chipmunk.
Coaches: No one turns around. Adam hems and haws before finally admitting that he thought it was a chick. Ouch. And so true. Oh well, he can always call up one of his old chemistry teachers and start cooking meth.
Charlie Rey (“Home” by Michael Buble)
He’s a smog technician, who breathes in harmful carbon monoxide all day at work. Is that even a real job? He’s a strong, generic singer. There’s nothing particularly special about him, but he’s solid.
Coaches: Adam and Blake turn around. Blake hits on a cute guy for the second night in a row, but Charlie is no Dez Duron. Adam and Blake go at it, with Blake delivering the winning blow by claiming to be “a way more recent champion.” He joins Team Blake.
Amanda Brown (“Valerie” by Amy Winehouse)
Hey, I went to college with a girl named Amanda Brown! But it’s not this girl so I’m sure no one cares. She’s a church singer who loves Radiohead, which seems like an odd mix. She’s fun and energetic, but nothing special (which appears to be the theme of this episode).
Coaches: Cee Lo turns around. Oh Cee Lo, sometimes I think he gets bored and wants to push his button just for the ride. This makes eight singers, or half of his entire team, comprised of non-contested singers where none of the other coaches turned around. She joins Team Cee Lo. Lady Bird the Pink Cockatoo is a fan of this song.
Yolanda Barber (“Get Here” by Oleta Adams)
She’s a 55-year-old former cruise ship singer who now drives a school bus (which she keeps calling a “school vehicle”). She’s certainly good enough to work on cruise ships, but, like everyone in this episode, she’s nothing special.
Coaches: No one turns around. I call age discrimination. The coaches certainly knew she was old and probably didn’t want her “specific sounds,” as Xtina put it. That’s code for “old lady voice.”
Cassadee Pope (“Torn” by Natalie Imbruglia)
She formed a band called Hey Monday and toured with Fallout Boy. She’s easily the best of the night and is just one of those people who is perfect for this show.
Coaches: All four coaches turn around. Before she reaches the chorus there’s an avalanche of three pushes, with Cee Lo as the only straggler. Xtina thinks she can do anything, Adam knows exactly what to do with her, Cee Lo likes her legs and Blake believes she’s a superstar with 200 percent of his heart. She joins Team Blake.
(Image and videos courtesy of NBC)