This season is almost over, and I can’t believe how long it has lasted. So many arguments have happened, so much yelling of nonsense. And now it’s the Posche fashion show and some d-bag who looks like Howie Mandel is confronting Melissa about when she used to be a dancer.
“I hear this is uh Kim’s fashion show!” Angelo/Howie says, and then continues with, “it’s going to be a spectacular night!” It sure was strange. Melissa says she doesn’t know where she remembers him from. And then, with a flip of Kim’s extensions, the fashion show portion begins.
Everyone is having a nice enough time during the actual walk, except for Teresa, who is making up a big drama in her head. She and Melissa go to the bathroom, the cameras follow, and Teresa asks, “what was up with that guy who came up to our table? The bald guy?” and Melissa says she doesn’t remember.
Then, Teresa pulls a Ramona from RHONY and asks Melissa to feel her heart because it’s beating out of her chest. Melissa still doesn’t remember who Angelo is, and Teresa tries to jog her memory without coming right out and saying what he said in the salon. It was not the best way to handle things. Teresa tells Melissa, eventually, what he said, and that she knows it’s not true.
Melissa says she bartended for the bikini bar for a week because her cousin owned it. Joe knows. But now this is turning into a “wasn’t I such a good sister-in-law, shouldn’t we both be furious with this guy?” thing. Meanwhile, outside the bathroom, Angelo talks to some woman about how hilarious it all is and how “Kim and Teresa want to blow the whistle on Melissa,” and so someone put him up to his poor display of acting abilities earlier.
Then, Jacqueline gets a text from a mutual friend of hers and Teresa’s that says to stick around because something is going to happen and it’s going to be good. Like, something dramatic. That is messed up.
“Who cares about him? His teeth are disgusting,” Melissa decides. Then she calls Joe to see if maybe he wants to come put Angelo in his place. Melissa got STREET. Teresa gets mad, because Joe could “go away” for this, even though her brother is not her husband, in nature or build.
“You weren’t a dancer, you won’t even dance for me!” Joe Gorga says to Melissa on the phone. Then he offers to go get involved at this club in New York. And Jacqueline is still getting texts about this Angelo character’s devious plot.
Teresa goes hunting for Angelo, and asks Kim, who suggests that maybe he left because he felt like no one liked him. Ugh, go back into the crypt, Kim D. Teresa gives up the fight, as Melissa talks to Joe in the bathroom about whether or not she should confront Angelo. Kathy warns Teresa that if someone believes in what they say, they’ll stand up for their version of the truth. Everyone else texts each other at the table.
Then, Joe Giudice shows up and grabs Teresa for a shot. Wonderful. It gives Caroline time to analyze the text message, and show it to Melissa. Melissa and Kathy step outside, and Kathy gets in on the drama. Melissa is still skeptical of Teresa’s motives. Inside, some riff raff convince Teresa to stay for “one drink.”
Everyone is close to going home, when Rich and Joe Gorga show up. And Joe is dressed like a bank robber, asking “where’s this guy.” He wants to find Angelo so he can step to him. The gang’s all here!
So it appears that they all agree Teresa set Melissa up for this thing that wouldn’t have been a big deal in the first place if there weren’t all over-reacting right now. Joe Gorga goes inside and Teresa’s like “OH MY GOD,” and they go hunting for “Angelo,” who it turns out just worked for the salon for the day. What! Now why doesn’t anyone realize someone suspiciously working at a salon for a day and spreading rumors is the thing that should be investigated here.
So Teresa and Melissa start fighting, and Melissa is upset because Teresa went along with Kim D’s plan, but I don’t know that it was really Teresa’s fault this time.
“What’s the problem,” Kim D croaks, and Joe Gorga tells her to get outta here. Then Kim and Joe get into it, he calls her drunk, high, and a whore, and they both step off.
Then it turns out that Jacqueline heard from a friend that Teresa knew something like this would happen two weeks ago. So she wanted to expose her sister-in-law, apparently, using some actor who probably plays Howie Mandel on Hollywood Boulevard for tips.
Rumors fly around the parking lot, but no weave parts yet. Joe is hurt by his sister’s activities, and desires closure. Jacqueline offers to send Melissa the texts she received so she can re-live the night at home.
Then Jacqueline bounces over to Teresa, who claims she had nothing to do with it whatsoever, then tells Jacqueline that she’s just causing problems and maybe someone is trying to set HER up! Jacqueline is done.
Then, Joe pulls around to yell at Teresa from his black SUV. Caroline collects her car, and Jacqueline. Then Teresa goes back into the party to complain to her not-famous friends.
That takes us to last season’s reunion show, taped 12 hours later, and updates on the Housewives. All because of a man named Angelo. Maybe.
(images courtesy of Bravo)