Vicki’s party is on. Peggy, though no longer an official Real Housewife, shows up to have it out with Alexis. Anyone else besides Peggy see that this is totally a Jim issue? And you never know what’s really going on, as parts 1-3 of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills season 2 reunion proved.

Alexis and Peggy made nice, or as nice as Alexis can be while still being shady. Alexis met Heather while Peggy and her friend annoyed the chefs in the kitchen. Meanwhile, much to Vicki’s horror, Tamra and Gretchen are FRIENDS NOW.

How about Gretchen’s loud-mouthed friend being like “we’re kinda engaged whatever!” and Heather shutting her down immediately? I think I like Heather, who told that annoying girl that her boyfriend needs to make “a monetary commitment.” She only got engaged on the plane on the way to Paris, nbd. And she got a ring as a “push present,” nbd.

Remember how Vicki’s party is Southern themed so she’s serving Gumbo? That may not be called a Frito, but only because it’s an expensive, fancy ass Frito. I liked Heather until she kept reminding everyone that she’s an actress. So Gretchen may or may not have had her lips done, whatever. Then the rest of the food came out in trash bags. Southern style! Nasty. So yeah, the food was nasty, but everyone was being really rude about it to Vicki.

Not sure what happened, or why, but Peggy started crying after Alexis left. She was sad that they aren’t friends anymore, and Alexis said a bunch of crappy things. She approaches Alexis at the limo, and Alexis just froze her out. Peggy will not waste her time with Alexis, or this show, anymore. Too much anxiety. So toxic. It’s probably wise to bow out before you start mixing anti-anxiety meds.

Heather is an actress, married a plastic surgeon, and is such an L.A. girl, apparently. But more importantly: that closet! They live in a giant new house that they built and designed “themselves.” That house has an elevator. They are rich. They are the 1%. We get it. HILARIOUS yarmulke, Terry!

Tamra and Eddie are still totally in love, but I be they aren’t having sex for five hours in the spa still. Tamra, Eddie, Vicki, and Brooks are going to Catalina together. Wow, what a terrible time.

Slade and Gretchen talked about the party, and it was mostly boring. I don’t often agree with Gretchen, but I’m with her that when a woman calls another woman “cute,” it is annoying and smug.

Brooks … kind of looks like Donn. Tamra confirms that the honeymoon phase with Eddie is over.

WHOA, Gretchen without makeup. I accidentally paused it on her face before she got it applied and oh man. She looks like a completely different person/Albert Nobbs. She’s posing nude for a breast cancer campaign. After hair and makeup, she looked much improved. Like a completely different, biological woman. It was “literally one of the hottest things we’ve ever shot.” OK.

In Catalina, Vicki tells Brooks that she hates PDA and wants to be celibate with him. I’m sure she didn’t mean celibate. Several tequila shots later, Vicki and Eddie drunkenly connect. It was weird. Tamra holds her liquor better than everyone else in the room, or perhaps seeing Eddie flirt with her friend was sobering. In response, Tamra puts Brooks’s hand on her boob. Drunk Eddie says he would never do that.

“Don’t drink anymore,” Tamra advises Eddie. “Don’t act like a f***ing idiot anymore,” Eddie quips. Way to go, Eddie. The good times the tequila once promised quickly evaporated. Once off the Catalina Express, Eddie and Tamra have an argument. Neither of them will apologize for what they did, because they both feel that they have the right to be more upset.

WHO WILL WIN THIS FIGHT? No one? Tune in next week to find out.

(images courtesy of Bravo)

Carla Patton

Writer, BuddyTV

Originally from Seattle, Carla recently took a husband and moved to Austin, Texas, where she is finally using her television “problem” to her advantage. It’s sort of like Dexter, but boring and less murdering. Carla’s favorite shows include 30 RockThe Amazing RaceProject RunwayModern Family, anything with murder, and pretty much anything gross and weird (CSIThe BachelorToddlers & Tiaras, etc.). Favorite canceled shows include: Arrested DevelopmentVeronica Mars and Average Joe. In her spare time, Carla leads tours of downtown Austin on a Segway (don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it!), blogs about Netflix Instant, and visits elementary schools telling children they don’t need math to succeed (just kidding, stay in school, kids).