Jacqueline Laurita has barely been gone from The Real Housewives of New Jersey long enough for anyone to miss her. But she’s already back and just itching for more camera time, even if she risks alienating her sister-in-law Dina even more.

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A House is Not a Home

Melissa, Dina and the twins are happy to get out of the cold and go to Boca Raton. The guys are supposed to meet them in a few days, and Amber and Jim might come as well depending on her test results. Melissa is relieved for the time being that Amber and Jim aren’t there to cause drama.

The vacation home is gorgeous, of course. Teresa A. says it’s very Miami Vice¬†because of its ’80s decor.

Back in Jersey, Teresa and Gia trudge through the snow to see a house for sale. Although the agent keeps reminding them how it doesn’t compare to their house in size, it is more affordable now that they’re spending so much on legal fees. Teresa says she’s changed a lot since she first moved into their home. She’s not as materialistic anymore, and now all she needs to be home is her husband and her daughters. Adopting that attitude earlier in life could have kept you out of this situation to begin with.

Amber’s going back to the doctor to re-take her five-year tests. She’s been cancer free for five years, but she’s still feeling anxious about it coming back.

Jac and Kath

Kathy Wakile goes over to Jacqueline’s house for a visit, and despite the fact that neither one of these women are officially on this show, we have to sit through a scene and listen to them go on and on about just about everything.

First, Jacqueline gives an update on Nicholas, her son who was diagnosed with autism last season. He’s been doing well, but treatments for him are expensive. She also implies that she’s still not okay with Dina. Kathy’s building a new home right down the street and is still pushing her desserts to anyone with a mouth.

Then the conversation moves to Teresa. Jacqueline feels bad with the way they left things. Even though they technically made up, they haven’t really been part of each other’s lives since the end of last season. She tells Kathy that she poured her heart out in a text message (seriously, she nearly wrote a novel) telling her how she’s thinking of her and how she still thinks of her like a sister. Then in her confessional, she says she knows pleading guilty must have been hard for Teresa because she usually tends to shift the blame. Wow, Jacqueline. Shady much?

Teresa must have seen through her BS too because all she responded to Jacqueline’s text was: “Thanks for reaching out, kisses.” Kathy says that Jacqueline should probably take that as a hint and close the book on that chapter of her life.

Jacqueline and Kathy go to visit the construction site that is Kathy’s new home. And look at that, there’s no snow on the ground. Which probably means this segment was not filmed at the same time as the rest of the show. Interesting.

Anyway, Kathy’s excited to be neighbors with Jacqueline, but Jacqueline tells her that they’re putting their house up for sale, although they’ll probably stay in the neighborhood. She says they’d rather live within their means and afford their son’s treatment than try to keep up with appearances.

Fun in the Sun

Back in Florida, Melissa tries to set Dina up with the pool boy, but Dina says she likes men a little bit older than the 20-something pool boy. Dina is sad Teresa couldn’t come, especially since this trip was meant to cheer her up, but she’s enjoying bonding with the other ladies.

The twins want to make dinner, so they go grocery shopping. They keep looking for the “long hots” in the store and they say “long hots” about 100 times. Melissa says they talk a lot and sometimes it just turns into noise and you just want to press the mute button.

Joe Gorga is at home roughhousing with the kids. He says he loves his children but he doesn’t really enjoy babysitting. Melissa says she hates leaving them home alone, but she thinks it’s important for a father to spend time with his kids.

Amber is waiting for her test results. Dr. Michael, the oncologist, delivers her a clean bill of health and he thinks the road ahead is optimistic. It’s good news, and chances for a recurrence drop with each passing year. Amber and Jim are obviously thrilled. They get emotional and group-hug. Yay for Amber!

Amber calls Dina, still riding high from her positive prognosis. She tells Dina that she’s healthy, and so she and Jim are going to meet them tomorrow. Dina is happy for her, but she’s also afraid that she might say something about what Victoria Gotti said about how the twins’ mom, Santa, slept with Teresa A.’s husband, Rino.

Dina is anxious through dinner, especially since Nicole said something earlier in the day about wanting to know if someone was talking bad about her and her family. Dina pulls Teresa aside and tells her she heard something about her. She says she’s not judging her, but she’s been sitting on this information and it’s been making her feel uncomfortable this whole time. Teresa tells Dina she doesn’t even want to hear it.

Nicole tells Dina that she appreciates her saying something to them, as a friend. Teresa and Nicole get heated around the table as Teresa insists that she doesn’t want to hear bad things about her, and Nicole does. I don’t even know. There’s a lot of shouting between twins, and everyone goes to bed without Dina even filling them in on what she knows.

Poor Amber is going to arrive in Florida in next week’s episode still riding high after her good news. Only to land into a huge mess.¬†

 

The Real Housewives of New Jersey airs Sundays at 8pm on Bravo.

(Image courtesy of Bravo)