At the end of last week’s episode, Jacqueline decided to distance herself from Teresa and the Giudices for her own health. Caroline is also done with Teresa for now, and her “pile of bullsh*t.” Chris, Chris, Albie, and Lauren discuss Teresa’s betrayal, and the upcoming trip to Napa that Teresa and Joe were invited to. Chris decided to keep the trip an open invite, and request that “the girls figure out their sh*t.”

Jacqueline is having a breakdown. She’s upset to lose Teresa as a friend, but enough is enough. Teresa went to Dina’s house after Jacqueline’s and they comforted one another over shared tacky business ventures. Teresa tries to explain her problems to Juicy Joe, who is characteristically unfeeling and bored.

Juicy Joe thinks no one should ask anyone else about their business. He encourages Teresa to adopt his laissez faire attitude. So what, who cares? “You’ve got me, but move on.” And move on they shall, to Melissa’s song release party. But Joe doesn’t want to go. Not a single f**k was given!

“I don’t care! I’ve heard enough already! I already told you what to do, so move on,” Juicy tells Teresa. Teresa decides that she should listen to her husband, in the interest of keeping her family together since he has so heartily convinced her she has no one else.

Teresa calls a gardening Kathy to ask her to meet for lunch. What does she want? Kathy wonders. Kathy meets Teresa for lunch, wearing a dress with very curious sleeves. Would you call them sleeves? Just fabric that drapes near the arm, I suppose. Teresa tells Kathy about the “ambush” and leaves out a few self-incriminating details. Kathy realizes that this is why Teresa called her–for an ally. Kathy assures Teresa of her friendship, but doesn’t villify Jacqueline or Caroline. She’s classy and she knows how to wear a non-sleeve!

Melissa applies her makeup in anticipation of the Ryan Seacrest radio debut of her “On Display” remix. She wants to be low key about it, but Joe is throwing her a party. She realizes after her radio call that Ryan Seacrest might not like the song, or her, but she doesn’t care. To boot, Joe tells Ryan that her good singing voice is from “all the practice in the bedroom.”

Juicy Joe can’t find the koi in his koi pond, but Teresa wants to discuss more pressing matters. Teresa wants to go to a therapist with her brother and wants Joe’s support, and Joe tells her he’s embarrassed for her. He’s a keeper, this one.

Everyone on Twitter is telling Melissa that her song sucks, and it’s hurting her feelings. “You have to be some loser that just sits there all day and says negative sh*t about someone on the internet. I don’t know if you don’t have a job, if you’re not getting laid. I mean, get a life and move on!” Joe says. Even though he very well could be talking about me, I like this guy’s attitude. They practice gratitude on the way to the launch party.

Teresa is cautious going in to the party. She’s going to see a lot of people who don’t like her. The party is very sparkly, over the top, and very much a party for the sake of having a party. Kathy, Caroline, and Jacqueline sit down for a drink and a chat. Teresa and her articles come up, of course. This party may be for Melissa, but I have a feeling Teresa’s about to steal the spotlight.

Teresa arrives, and soon pulls her brother aside to tell him she’s willing to go to therapy with him. Just that admission was enough to break the ice between them and ease the tension. Caroline and Jacqueline feel strange not talking to Teresa, and Jacqueline is overwhelmed by their problems. A few drinks later, after Melissa played the remix, Jacqueline decides to go talk to Teresa.

“I’m really hurt and I’m really disappointed,” Teresa says. “So am I,” Jacqueline keeps saying, but Teresa has already stopped listening. “Like, really, you don’t even know,” Teresa says. They go back and forth about who’s not opening up to who and who is being honest. Teresa denies everything, angrily, and I don’t understand why Jacqueline “deserved” to be punched in the face.

The rest of the family convenes on a couch to watch the drama unfold. Jacqueline asks if their friendship is over, and Teresa says she doesn’t have an answer. Melissa approaches them, “you’re yelling, I can hear you guys.” She tells them to be happy and have a good night. Then Teresa pounces on her about this Danielle thing. Jacqueline leaves, and Teresa tells her, “thank you, goodbye.” Jacqueline is drunk and over it.

“Now I see why everybody hates her,” Jacqueline tells her husband. “She’s not a good person.” She made a lot of remarks, and probably a lot them were true. Meanwhile, Melissa tries to talk Teresa down about this thing that was happening 2 years ago.

“You should have called me and cleared the air,” Teresa says, as though that were a viable option for anyone to do with her. Slutty Heather, Kathy’s friend and Rosie’s object of admiration, demands that Jacqueline do a shot and smile. She tells her to stop taking on everyone else’s problems, and to learn to say “f**k it” more often.

Teresa and Melissa agree to move forward and try to like each other. Teresa agrees to it, just for her brother’s sake. Melissa encourages Teresa to make up with Jacqueline, but that might be a burning bridge. Juicy and Rosie kiss on the mouth, and Teresa has reconciled with her family. She claims to be the same person she’s always been, and if anything, more understanding.

Next week, Teresa is going to therapy! A sane person will intervene!

(images courtesy of Bravo)

Carla Patton

Writer, BuddyTV

Originally from Seattle, Carla recently took a husband and moved to Austin, Texas, where she is finally using her television “problem” to her advantage. It’s sort of like Dexter, but boring and less murdering. Carla’s favorite shows include 30 RockThe Amazing RaceProject RunwayModern Family, anything with murder, and pretty much anything gross and weird (CSIThe BachelorToddlers & Tiaras, etc.). Favorite canceled shows include: Arrested DevelopmentVeronica Mars and Average Joe. In her spare time, Carla leads tours of downtown Austin on a Segway (don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it!), blogs about Netflix Instant, and visits elementary schools telling children they don’t need math to succeed (just kidding, stay in school, kids).