No one quite knows how to throw a party like The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Especially Lisa Vanderpump. Her husband Ken’s 70th birthday party is sure to be full of surprises, including a mini-horse! I’m sure Ken will have a great reaction to his gift, but what will Giggy think?! Let’s find out in this episode, “Horsing Around.”

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Shop Till You Drop

Lisa and Kyle go shopping in Europe. Kyle likes shopping there because she’s a snob and she likes to have things that other people don’t. Though, shopping for a dress for her niece’s wedding isn’t as fun as it should be since, you know, half her family wasn’t invited to her wedding. But Kyle’s not going to let some petty family issues stand in the way of a good party.

Lisa regrets bringing up Kyle’s family drama at dinner the previous evening, especially in front of her daughters. She doesn’t have sisters and she doesn’t necessarily understand the dynamic, but she knows it must be hurtful for the whole family. All she can do now is be a good friend to Kyle.

In Beverly Hills, Lisa Rinna gets her nails done with her daughters. Now that they’re getting older, it’s getting more and more difficult for them to spend quality time together. She tells them about her impending trip to Ohio with Lisa Vanderpump to fetch a mini-horse, and of course now they want one too.

Eileen is dealing with some changes with her kid, too. Her son, Jesse, is just starting at a Malibu school after years of being home-schooled. She wishes she could get a little more help from Vince, who seems decidedly selfish when it comes to their home life.

Yolanda and her friend, new Housewife Erika Girardi, go to get Vitamin C IVs. Yolanda says whether you’re healthy or sick, it’s good to have that bit of a boost to the immune system. Erika isn’t crazy about the IV, but she’s there to support Yolanda, and she’s down to try anything to keep her youthful. She says she’s 44, but she still looks fabulous because she has access to everything. And by everything, I’m sure she means everything money can buy.

Eileen and Lisa Rinna meet Kyle for drinks. They express their concern for Kim, who just fled rehab to go to her daughter’s wedding and got drunk and kicked a police officer. That’s a lot. Lisa Rinna is worried that she’s unstable to the point of being dangerous. Kyle doesn’t like discussing it with them because of Lisa and Kim’s bad relationship. She’s worried about Kim, but she’s not going to go over the details with the other women.

She’s fine gossiping about Yolanda’s health, though. She tells them her theory about her condition being mental, just like how she had physical symptoms after being depressed when her mom died. Meet Dr. Kyle, everyone.

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Seeing a Woman About a Mini-Horse

Lisa Vanderpump and Lisa Rinna are on their adventure to get Ken’s mini-horse. They look ridiculous in their cowboy hats in Ohio. They wonder how they’re going to fit the mini-horse into the limo and on the plane. Rich people problems, am I right?

But when they get to the farm, Lisa Vanderpump notices that Rosebud the mini-horse has a limp. She’s worried about its well-being and if she’s in the position to take care of a lame horse. She goes back and forth about whether to adopt it or not and even ruins the surprise by calling Ken to ask his opinion. At last, she decides to keep in contact with the horse lady about the horse’s condition, but she won’t be taking it home today. Of course, she’s disappointed. She’s used to getting what she wants. She plans on making it up to Ken, though, by throwing a glamorous garden party at their home for his birthday.

Now we finally get a formal introduction to Erika Girardi. She’s been married to Tom Girardi, who she claims is the nation’s leading defense attorney, most well known for his work on the Erin Brockovich case. She’s been called a gold digger because of the age difference between her and her husband (and his considerable wealth), but she says she doesn’t have to prove the merits of her marriage to anyone.

She also has what she calls an alter-ego, Erika Jayne. Erika Jayne is an international pop star with lots of dance party hits. She’s “sass and class and over-the-top.” She loves her job and can’t imagine a life where she didn’t honor her inner bad girl.

It’s Ken’s 70th birthday garden party and Lisa’s invited a bunch of old faces, including Camille Grammer and Taylor Armstrong. Camille is as flawless and graceful as ever, and Taylor is as crass and obnoxious as ever. She brings up Yolanda’s health at the lunch table and says that the “needle in her arm” Instagram pictures offend her. Ugh, she’s so tactless.

It’s raining outside, which forces everyone to the patio under the canopy. And that’s boring to Kyle, so she decides to move the party to the pool. The ladies all jump in and start splashing and playing around. Some dude pushes poor Ken into the pool without consideration of his bad hips. But he’s okay and quite happy to be surrounded by pretty ladies in wet white dresses on his birthday. It almost makes up for the fact that he didn’t get a mini-horse for his birthday. Almost.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Tuesdays at 9pm on Bravo.

(Image courtesy of Bravo)

Gina Pusateri

Contributing Writer, BuddyTV