This week’s The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills opens with Kim’s daughter, Kimberly, getting dolled up for her prom. Kim offers up her Hugging Saint (is that a thing?) beads for good luck. Kimberly reluctantly takes. Kim babbles in the background about her chicken salad ingredients as Kimberly gets her hair and makeup done. Kimberly’s adorable boyfriend walks in and makes all of the appropriate comments that a young boy should make in front of a parent (and the country). Kim tries to entice them to stay an extra five minutes for some lemonade, to which they decline. “C’mon Mom!”
The “O” Drop
Over to Yolanda’s house as Richard, her Caterer/Butler, arrives. She runs through a list of menu items for her upcoming dinner party with the ladies that cause my stomach to obnoxiously growl. They unnaturally insert an Oprah name drop when mentioning a 70-year-old bottle of wine she gave them. We get it, you guys know people, ugh.
Kyle goes over the written driving test with her daughter, Alexia. Then they head outside to practice with a beautiful black Porsche. Kyle recalls an embarrassing tale from her first days behind the wheel that only Cher from Clueless would pull. Although this is Beverly Hills … they run through a few attempts to parallel park before Alexia ends up about two feet away from the curb. Kyle is satisfied. “Why bother? Everywhere you go has valet.”
Lisa arrives at Kyle’s for some afternoon tea. Kyle is in a zip-up hoodie paired with leggings and, honestly, has never looked more beautiful. Calm, relaxed and effortless looks good on you, girl! Kyle calls Lisa out on her speedy, post-llama departure during Portia’s birthday bash, because she thinks it was to avoid a run-in with Adrienne. Kyle thinks it would’ve been the perfect place for this confrontation to happen because then everyone would be able to exercise some self-control. Umm, have you met your BFFs? Lisa has no interest in associating with Adrienne and isn’t sure why Adrienne would want to associate with someone who would sell a story to the tabloids. Lisa, no nonsense and always too regal to rumble. She is my favorite, by far.
Kim hops in a limo to Malibu with Adrienne and Paul, on their way to Foster Manor for Yolanda’s party. Kim tells Adrienne about her struggles post-rehab. Adrienne braces herself for her face-to-face with Lisa. Paul gets involved (why?) and gives his POV. He expects Lisa to apologize to Adrienne. Then he runs through the reasons why he feels the apology is needed. Apparently, Lisa has made some remarks about Adrienne’s shoes, her dog (“calling Jackpot, Crackpot”) and not saying goodbye when they moved. Not sure that evens the playing field but, okay, Paul. Even though he seems completely fixated on this whole feud, he makes it a point to let the girls (and us at home) know that he’s a very busy man and doesn’t have time for this drama.
Over at Yolanda’s, her table is stunning, and she looks like a rock-star. Kyle, Mauricio and Taylor arrive first. Even Kyle points out how perfect and pristine this property is. Lisa and Ken head in next. The girls spend way too much time in arrogant-land, talking about how the butler is also Camille’s butler, and so “He must be stalking us!” Ugh x2. Kim, Paul and Adrienne arrive next, and Lisa doesn’t acknowledge their existence at all. Ouch. Paul’s ego takes a hit with that one.
Taylor’s Gettin’ Tipsy
Yolanda sits at the head of the table with David. David raves about her talents as a hostess and a homemaker, all while not being “frou frou, because I hate, hate, hate frou frou.” They all talk botox for a second, until Taylor gets sloppy and loudly bashes Brandi for being a BH slut. Yolanda notices and is completely put off by it.
First-Ever Appropriate Shushing
David charms the crowd with some music and they all move their chairs around the piano for a jam session. Taylor and Kyle start singing “Amazing Grace,” which I find to be a pretty bold move considering the other (actually talented) guests in the room. David shushes them and tells them not to sing at all. Enter Taylor’s pissed face. The music is lovely, and everyone is enjoying it. Except for Taylor. She begins to alternate between a full-body pout and guzzling her wine. Guzzle and pout. Pout and guzzle. Paul actually tells David to switch up the music (as if they’re listening to a CD) because Taylor isn’t happy. I half expect her to cross her arms and begin stomping her feet. Yolanda graciously boots her guests out and ends the evening.
The Sorry Standoff
Lisa gets ready to meet Adrienne for lunch. Ken isn’t happy. He thinks “they’re both despicable.” Lisa wants to get it over with so they can move on and be pleasant around each other instead of tense and awkward. Lisa is expecting an apology, and if she doesn’t immediately get one, she’s going to bolt. We end the episode with Lisa sitting down at a private table with Adrienne. They’re both reasonable, well-adjusted women. They can work through this, right? I guess we’ll have to wait until next week.
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(Image courtesy of Bravo)