The Fashion Show always reminds me of this quote from the new FOX show Glee: “I’m Beyonce, I ain’t no Kelly Rowland.” It’s said by a sassy girl who objects to being a background singer, and it doesn’t quite fit with The Fashion Show because this reality competition is so Kelly Rowland.
This episode is all about cliques, which means all the contestants talk about their high school years, and as you might expect, all the guys felt like outsiders who were mocked all the time. Oh really? Someone mocked James-Paul or Johnny or Merlin? I don’t believe it!
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It’s a totally high school challenge when the contestants must design a graphic t-shirt for a potential student body president that appeals to a specific clique. In proving that these people know nothing about teenagers, all the cliques are the most stereotypical ones you could imagine, from nerds and jocks to the goth kids.
I would never vote for this Tracy Flick wannabe because she has the personality of a block of wood. She says stupid things like, “Wow, that slogan is so clever” while referring to the least clever things I’ve ever seen. Thanks to the fact that she glued a bunch of leaves onto a t-shirt for the tree huggers, Daniella wins again and gets immunity.
Isaac Mizrahi, looking scary as always, lets the contestants know the fashion show is tomorrow and they must design a dress for a 20-year-old in the style of their clique. If the original Adam West Batman was still on, Isaac would be perfect to play a campy villain.
The Fashion Show is making me feel bad about myself, because first Merlin badmouths the movie Mean Girls (which is fantastic) and then Johnny calls Angel “retarded” for not knowing what a “b-girl” is. At first I thought it was a girl who competed in spelling bees, but that’s just because I’m a total dork.
When Isaac and Kelly review the work, they get Johnny back by comparing him to Fred Flintstone and Tony the Tiger thanks to his odd orange, striped muumuu. This show is like that old riddle about the barber with the awful haircut, because every single outfit being worn by a designer is hideous.
When it’s time for the runway show, the designers prove that their clothes do reflect their styles, because just about every outfit is craptastic, though the biggest offender to me is Reco’s mullet-esque baby doll drama club dress (short in the front, long in the back). My fury is enraged when some lame attendee thinks the preppy look resembled something she might see on “Gossip Girls.” It’s not plural, which proves that her opinion can be ignored because that girl is an idiot.
Top 2: Merlin and Haven
Isaac wants to make out with Merlin’s dress, and I think Fern wants to eat it. Kelly tries to be sassy, but she cannot pull it off. Merlin wins, mostly because this isn’t a diction competition.
Bottom 2: Johnny and Angel
Kelly Rowland was insulted by Angel’s terrible interpretation of hip hop, and then the judges yell at her for not watching MTV or knowing what hip hop is. That’s like finding fault in Johnny for not knowing what lady’s undercarriage looks like. Yes, porn is all over the Internet, but that doesn’t mean he has to watch it.
Isaac Mizrahi really starts to piss me off when he claims “Fashion design must be consumed, or it is a failure.” I’ve seen enough of those ridiculous avant-garde runway shows to know that the fashion world is the exact opposite of mass consumerism. These judges need to stop pretending that what they do matters at all to anyone.
The Fashion Sow Elimination Time! Isaac Mizrahi claims that it’s impossible to claim ignorance of hip hop, so Angel is eliminated. I would like to claim ignorance of Isaac Mizrahi, because he is acting like a total diva beeyotch and I wish I didn’t know about him.
-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of Bravo)