Sheree got a new car: an Aston Martin. She’s going to do things for her now. So Sheree will be doing “Dancing Stars of Atlanta.” Ohhhhhh yes. But I thought Sheree hated dancing? Maybe she just hates it as a date idea (why is she still dating Dr. Tiy-E?).

Kim unveils her new “office,” which is full of pictures of herself. If you have a problem with that, you can “eat sh*t and die.” Why does Kim need an office? Not that it has a desk anyone would work at or anything. Kim also spent “close to $60,000” on Ariana’s new room. Naturally Brielle is jealous because her room is pink and she’s “over it.” Brielle is pissed that she has 2,000 square feet all to herself or something. Gross.

NeNe visits Cynthia’s sister at Cynthia’s house to help prepare Peter’s surprise engagement for Cynthia. Like that sentence proves, it’s all about Cynthia! So Cynthia comes home and all her friends are waiting for her upstairs with rose petals on the floor. Cynthia is upset that she took her eyelashes off in the car. Peter gets down on one knee and makes Cynthia promise to marry him. Cynthia is shocked, un-emotional, resistant, and she hates surprises. Not the best television proposal.

RHA romance.png

Isn’t it romantic?

Phaedra is working on her childbirth design, packing a fancy nursing bra and matching slip for her induced labor (“because he’s fully developed”). She’s upset because she has to “research milk products,” because apparently breastfeeding is out. There was also discussion of penis ointment.

To Sheree’s dancing lessons! It’s about at the level of regular Dancing With the Stars. Michael, one of the judges, brings in Virginia, a professional (?) ballroom dancer, to show Sheree what to do. Sheree’s not buying it, though! “I was already doing that!” Yaaaaaay this is going to be so good/bad.

Kandi meets with her team and Lawrence to work on real music with real potential. Kandi gives Lawrence a song but the conversation quickly moves to the most interesting thing in the recording studio: Kim. Kandi is almost fed up–as she should be! Lawrence is in the studio ready to work

Cynthia’s going wedding shopping just to get some ideas to give to her stylist. Buying a dress off the rack would be fashion suicide! FASHION. SUICIDE! Cynthia’s mother and sister heap on the pressure to get married and stay married. Cynthia is afraid of getting stuck like her mother did. She went there! Drink that champagne, everyone, and get ready for Cynthia to make you feel fat and ugly.

Sheree has a few things to learn about her performance career, like that when they say “dress rehearsal,” it means you should wear your costume. But she’s got plenty of confidence and a healthy sense of entitlement. She arrives at the event with her full entourage, mostly so that Lawrence can flirt with Sheree’s dance partner. Sheree also has a thing or two to learn about charity, like how to ask for donations instead of just expecting them.

Sheree got kicked out of her prep room. Incensed, she went to the women’s bathroom where NeNe and Cynthia discovered her. Things are awkward between NeNe and Gregg, and between Kim and Kandi. The Housewives decide to put in $20 each, which is not what Sheree was expecting. Let’s see Sheree bring people together with her dancing overblown ego! 

Sheree’s routine, which Sheree tells us is one of the hardest routines, was pretty boring. Not nearly as exciting as Kim Zolciak in the studio. Three cheers for the editing team that put this sequence together, though, including the Housewives’ silent reactions. They were more interested in Kroy Biermann’s defensive end (YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?). And Kim got his number (and gave him hers). So in the end, Kim won.

Next week the truth will come out! What is Dr. Tiy-E’s secret? How old is Phaedra’s baby? Who is the daddy? What do you think?

(images courtesy of Bravo)

Carla Patton

Writer, BuddyTV

Originally from Seattle, Carla recently took a husband and moved to Austin, Texas, where she is finally using her television “problem” to her advantage. It’s sort of like Dexter, but boring and less murdering. Carla’s favorite shows include 30 RockThe Amazing RaceProject RunwayModern Family, anything with murder, and pretty much anything gross and weird (CSIThe BachelorToddlers & Tiaras, etc.). Favorite canceled shows include: Arrested DevelopmentVeronica Mars and Average Joe. In her spare time, Carla leads tours of downtown Austin on a Segway (don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it!), blogs about Netflix Instant, and visits elementary schools telling children they don’t need math to succeed (just kidding, stay in school, kids).