Sometimes when worlds collide, the result is a magical mash-up of two great things that actually become greater when combined. See: Peanut butter and jelly, rubber duckies and bathtubs, or chocolate and nougat as Finn pointed out on Glee last night.
And sometimes, when worlds collide, it makes you wish an actual apocalypse would happen as a result, because sometimes it’s all (this existence) just too much. And yet, those worlds that are colliding–they make sense, when you think about it. This is one of those times, and it is somehow both deeply horrifying and completely logical to me, especially as the resident Jersey Shore and Bachelorette recapper at BuddyTV:
Angelina “dirty hamster” Pivarick and Justin “Rated R for Ridiculously Obnoxious” Rego are apparently an “item” after hooking up in Vegas over the weekend. They seem to have bonded over the fact that everyone living with them on their respective reality shows, and most people watching, vehemently hated them. How sweet. Angelina was more than happy to speak at length about the liaison to whomever would listen (that would be RadarOnline):
“I was so excited because I always thought he was hot. I’ve had a crush on him ever since he was on The Bachelorette,” she told the website. [Ed. note: Yeah, when he lied about having two girlfriends back home and then hobbled away from Ali when she tried to ask him about it and left the show a pathetic disgrace. Who wouldn’t have a crush on that guy?!]
“We spent the night in Vegas at ARIA on the 26th floor and it was amazing.” [Ed note: What was your room number? What did you eat for dinner? What’s Justin’s phone number? Just kidding–apparently he has no problem giving that out.]
“I couldn’t believe it when we first met in person at the airport,” she said. “He was even cuter in person.” [Ed. note: Barf noises.]
What burns me up about this pairing is that I didn’t think of it first. When he was ripping off his shirt to promote his “wrestling career,” calling the other guys “jabronis” and secretly phoning his Canadian girlfriends from the bathroom this summer on The Bachelorette, it should have occurred to me that Justin’s casting tape got mixed up (between ABC and MTV? Sure, that could happen) and he was actually supposed to be cast on Jersey Shore. I mean, the guy gave himself the nickname “Rated R.”
Of course, the problem with Rated R being on Jersey Shore (among many problems, including more barf noises) is that he is Canadian. But HEY! Didn’t we just report on a new Canadian version of the show, Lake Shore? Yes, we did. So maybe it’s not too late for him, and his new girl Angelina, who’s no longer with the cast of America’s Jersey Shore due to “irreconcilable awfulness” (lawyering term), to join that crew of soon-to-be-famous* fist-pumping miscreants. Judging from the cast video, they would fit right in.
Because I don’t feel like being done making fun of this coupling yet, below is an artist’s rendering of what Angelina’s and Justin’s future child would look like (in the background):
*In Canada; doesn’t technically count.*
** Just kidding, I love Canada, for real. But Lake Shore is a big mistake, Canucks. Michael J. Fox does not approve.
(Image courtesy of MTV/ABC/Comedy Central)