Once upon a time, there was a boy who was also a wolf. A Teen Wolf, if you will.
All this boy wanted was to play lacrosse and make goo-goo eyes at the girl of his dreams. Unfortunately, slime creatures, psychotic grandpas and chemistry tests got in the way. How will it all turn out for our favorite werewolf in the Teen Wolf season 2 finale? Find out in this recap!
Where We Left Off
Jackson is dead. Still slimy, sure, but dead. Stiles has been kidnapped. Of course, Grandpa Gerard and his merry band of hunters are behind this. Sheriff Stilinski works hard to prove that he actually should work in law enforcement, even when his missing son threatens that yet again. The Lacrosse Coach shares his feelings with Scott.
Got it? OK. We can move on.
Stiles hears whimpering in his darkened, basement prison. That would be Erica and Boyd. The Puppies have recovered from their wounds but remain bound, hung from the ceiling and subjected to electroshock therapy.
While it would be fun to see what Stiles could do with electricity, Grandpa Gerard needs to come and menace now. And oh, can he ever menace! Grandpa may be an aged pill-popper, but he’s more than a match for Stiles.
Granted, a small child might be more than a match for Stiles.
Scott is, meanwhile, getting a bit of a shock back in the locker room. That shock would be Peter Hale, magically resurrected from his charred grave. You know, I totally forgot about Scott not knowing anything about Peter.
Anyway, the important part is that Jackson dying has to be part of Gerard’s nefarious plan. You’d think this would be obvious to the characters of Teen Wolf by now.
Mrs. McCall, following that same dangerous curiosity that led her to Scott’s condoms, notices Jackson’s dripping slime and opens up that body bag. He’s all shiny… OMG! He’s a vampire!
Okay, maybe not a vampire. But there are changes afoot — thanks to Peter’s hidden Laptop of Monster Knowledge (aka, the Beasts’ Bestiary), we learn that Jackson the Kanima is only the beta version. What features are coming in Jackson 2.0?
Teen Wolf doesn’t exactly explain the product specifications, but large size, wings and unfortunate animation all figure in the design.
Jackson, meanwhile, is rapidly progressing through his beta testing process. This involves turning all of that slime into a hardened, transparent coating. And you thought things couldn’t get any yuckier…
The Realization of Stiles’ Dreams and Nightmares
Stiles doesn’t remain Gerard’s punching bag throughout all of this action. For whatever reason, Grandpa Gerard lets Stiles go home. This does not make Stiles happy.
Even the arrival of Lydia does little to lift young Stilinski’s spirits. This is mostly because Lydia just wants to be sad about Jackson and how she can’t return his key now. Stiles offers toilet paper (for the crying) and a wide selection of Macy’s merchandise, but Lydia is focused. Death in the process of saving Jackson is still preferable to the love of Stiles.
How can Lydia be so smart and so stupid at the same time?
After Lydia leaves, it’s up to the Sheriff to provide a wee bit of happiness. Stiles’ dad points out that Stiles was the hero of the lacrosse game and should feel proud of this. The boy feels the love, but Stiles isn’t buying the hero thing. Poor Stiles!
Mr. Argent Breaks More Than a Crossbow
Back at the Argent House of Teen Torture, Mr. Argent is getting a bit concerned about Grandpa’s unholy influence over the once-sweet Allison. Not that Allison thinks this is a problem. You know, Allison’s teenage pissy-ness and rebellion is a little more violent than is normal.
Mr. Argent realizes — far too late — that he may have lost his daughter to the family’s insanity and rather unorthodox lifestyle. Not even a broken crossbow can save her. Mr. Argent compensates by betraying every last one of his family beliefs in order to let Erica and Boyd go.
It All Comes Down to This
Mr. Argent’s break with family tradition turns out to be awfully convenient. Thanks to the Argents’ high-speed SUV, Scott and Isaac are able to get Jackson’s body-bag to a conveniently abandoned warehouse to meet Derek. Could the day be saved?
Nope. This is when it all falls apart.
Arguments about whether to save or kill Jackson are quickly irrelevant. Gerard and Allison make sure of that. When Derek lunges in for a desperate attack, Jackson suddenly awakens to rip a hole in Derek’s perfect chest. NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Sorry. Somehow, Derek (along with his abs) does survive this. A slash from the kanima causes a little more trouble, sending Derek to the ground. Both the monster and Allison go in for the kill.
Only Scott stands in the way.
Finally, the Pills
But will Scott help? The answer isn’t so simple, because this is the favor that Grandpa Gerard demanded of Scott oh-so-many episodes ago.
And the key to it all is that too-obvious pill box.
Grandpa Gerard is dying of cancer and is willing to destroy anyone to survive. Thus, Scott must force Derek to bite Gerard. As soon as the old man has the bite, Derek will die — and Grandpa Gerard will be the new Alpha.
After all of this, Scott will get Allison. You know, assuming Gerard lets anyone live at the end of the encounter.
Scott seems willing to take this gamble. He forces Derek to bite Gerard. Grandpa reacts with glee, raising the bitten arm in an “I have the power!!!” pose.
Scott Had a Plan? Seriously? I Mean, This Is Scott We’re Talking About...
Victory, alas, is fleeting.
Black blood begins to drip out of the bite. And from other wounds. And eyes. Does this indicate that Grandpa Gerard has deep-seating psychological issues like Jackson did?
While this would certainly be a believable explanation, that’s not the case. The black blood is all thanks to Scott. Back at the police station in “Fury,” Scott switched out Grandpa’s cancer pills for capsules full of mountain ash (Stiles’ magic dust!).
The black blood continues in a bit of a waterfall of ickiness. See below.
With his final, bloody-black breath, Grandpa Gerard orders his kanima to kill them. All of them.
Stiles Saves the Day But Loses Lydia. Typical.
And this is when Stiles gets to save the day.
Just before Jackson can attack and kill the entire warehouse, Stiles and Lydia come crashing through the warehouse wall in the jeep. Getting hit by a car obviously isn’t enough to kill Jackson, but the resulting shock gives Lydia enough time to hand over that all-important key.
Cue the sexy flashbacks to Jackson’s bedroom and a bygone booty call. Ah, young love!
One memory of sex proves to be enough though. Jackson’s pretty blue eyes return and about half of those slimy scales disappear. Such a touching scene… Except that Derek and Peter (who has been hiding in the corner throughout all of this) take the opportunity to kill Jackson. Again.
But death is no match for the tears of Lydia! With shiny blue eyes and slow-moving, well-lit smoke, Jackson rises from the ground. He’s finally the werewolf he always dreamed of being! Yay for Jackson! Yay for Lydia!
Wait, Werewolves Aren’t Real???
The sadness continues for Scott and Allison. Allison apologizes for all those times she tried to kill Scott’s werewolf buddies and insists that they have to break up. Scott agrees. He can afford to agree — Scott knows that this love is written in the stars.
Is love more or less plausible than werewolves?
Next Season on Teen Wolf…
So Teen Wolf season 2 has come to an end. It’s time to look forward to season 3! With that in mind, here are the plot points we’ll be enjoying when Teen Wolf returns.
- Gerard, despite his black-blood hemorrhage, disappeared. He’ll be back. Definitely.
- Peter, Derek and Isaac return to the Hale house to see a weird mark on the door. This indicates the arrival of a brand new pack in town. And not just any pack — a pack of all Alphas.
- The Alpha Gang has already arrived, of course. This is unfortunate for Erica and Boyd, who seriously can’t catch a break.
- Oh, and the Vet and Guidance Counselor will continue to be mysterious in Teen Wolf season 3. Surprise, surprise.
Back to the Beginning
In the end, what does this mean for Scott and Stiles? They both lost their beloveds and didn’t really beat the bad guys.
So they go play lacrosse and revel in their unshakable bromance.
And they all lived happily ever after. But at least there’s still lacrosse!
(Images courtesy of MTV)