Tonight’s Supernatural features the return of Bela (Lauren Cohan). Will she and Dean (Jensen Ackles) continue to heat up the screen, and will Sam (Jared Padalecki) forgive her for, you know, shooting him?
A comely lass is jogging late at night when she spies a giant ship, but it quickly vanishes. It’s a G-G-G-Ghost Ship! When she gets home, she takes a shower, and it’s all creepy because something is watching her. I never saw The Grudge, but I believe this is an homage to that. And by homage, I mean blatant rip-off. The girl gets killed.
In the Winchester Car, Dean is reading his brother riot act for a missing bullet, which found its way into the Crossroads demon at the end of last episode, courtesy of Sam. Unfortunately, that’s not all, because there’s still the Crossroads demon’s boss who holds the contract on Dean’s life.
The boys show up to the apartment of the dead woman’s aunt, and the old lady is totally flirting with Sam. She’s like the ultimate cougar, and her name is actually Gertie. She thinks they’re working with someone named Alex, and then she tells them about the G-G-G-Ghost Ship. She flirts some more with Sam. Jared Padalecki: teen girl tested, grandmother approved.
They leave and play a round of “Dude, Where’s My Car?” because it’s not where they left it. Bela rolls in and informs them she had the car towed. Bela is, of course, Alex. Her angle is to con old ladies with charms and seances to make them feel better about their lost ones, but that got messed up when the boys told the aunt the case wasn’t over. Sam is still angry over the shooting incident. She calls Sam “cute, but a bit of a drama queen” before leaving. Forget the Bela-Dean relationship, I want more of Bela snarking on Dean!
Elsewhere in the town, some guy is prepping for bed when he sees his tub is filled with a black liquid. He investigates and a hand reaches out to choke him. Again, I didn’t see The Grudge, but I did see Scary Movie 4, which had a Grudge parody, and this scene was certainly there.
Sam and Dean investigate and discover the dead guy also saw the G-G-G-Ghost Ship, as did his still living brother. The boys get their guns locked and loaded, but Bela gets in and mocks their caring attitudes, while she vows to find the G-G-G-Ghost Ship. She and Dean debate the morality of killing demons, and she believes his motive is vengeance and not goodwill.
While staking out the brother, the Winchesters question why these three seemingly good people saw the G-G-G-Ghost Ship. The brother sees them and freaks out about having stalkers, so he drives away. The car stalls, and some creepy dude (a Pirate Ghost!) appears next to him and makes the guy drown from the inside (he’s choking on water that’s spilling out of his mouth). Dean tries to shoot the Pirate Ghost, but that doesn’t quite work.
Sam and Dean hang out in someone else’s house when Bela comes a-knockin’. She has the lowdown on the G-G-G-Ghost Ship and the Pirate Ghost, who was hanged on the ship and had his right hand cut off, which is known as the Hand of Glory (Dean lets us know he frequently gets those at the end of his Thai massages). It’s an object of power and must be burned to destroy the spirit.
The missing hand is at a museum, and Bela has plan that involves putting Dean into a tuxedo. Bela, like most women who see Mr, Ackles in a tux, suggests having angry sex after this is all over. He considers, and then is offended that he’s being treated like an object. They arrive at the swanky party, and Dean is, of course, a fish out of water. Next we see Sam with his date: Gertie. HA! Poor Sam, always getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop.
While Dean is straining himself to think of an idea to get past the state troopers guarding the room with the hand in it, Bela pretends to faint as a distraction. His insensitivity to his pretend “wife” is quite amusing. When they’re alone, she mocks his intelligence, and his comebacks all prove her right. He heads out and gets the Hand of Glory, but doesn’t let her touch it.
Back at the party, Sam and Gertie are dancing, and her hands start to wander south. She notices that he’s “firm all over.” My words can not adequately express how hilarious that scene was. Gertie may be drunk, but she whispers into Sam’s ear that the dead brothers actually killed their father, so perhaps they deserved it. Then we discover her niece got into a car accident which killed her cousin.
The boys head out, and Sam makes a joke about how he was dancing with Mrs. Havisham all night. Dean is too stupid to get the Great Expectations reference, though I strongly encourage everyone to check it out, because it’s Charles Dickens’ best work, in my opinion. Dean looks into the box, and of course, Bela stole the hand. He’s gonna kill her.
That may not be necessary, because Bela is busy staring at the G-G-G-Ghost Ship. I realize it’s only her second episode on Supernatural, but this is the second time she betrays the Winchesters, but then her life is put in danger forcing her to destroy the object she stole from them. That could get real old real fast.
Back the the house, Dean and Sam are complaining about how she got another one over on them (or Dean, as Sam unhelpfully points out). Bela comes knocking again, frantic because she saw the G-G-G-Ghost Ship, but the hand is already halfway across the world to its buyer. Sam gives her the skinny on the Pirate Ghost’s motive. He was killed by the captain of the ship, his own brother, so now the Pirate Ghost goes around killing people who’ve killed members of their family. They ask which family member she killed, but she refuses to answer and asks for their help.
Sam feels bad for some reason, and provides an alternate solution to burning the Hand of Glory. Sam reads some Latin chant in a cemetery while it rains. The Pirate Ghost arrives and gives Bela the water choking hazard while Sam continues reading the longest incantation ever. When he’s done, he summons the Pirate Ghost’s brother, and it works out good and the Pirate Ghost is done with.
Bela arrives the next day with $10,000 as payment for saving her life. Sam is impressed with her. Dean is willing to take the money, but they’re heading straight to Atlantic City to “always bet on black.” During the car trip there, Dean says he understands why Sam killed the Crossroads demons. Sam doesn’t want an apology, and he erupts because he’s sick and tired of Dean worrying about him and not caring about the fact that he’s going to die. Dean’s response: maybe he’ll play craps.
Next week on Supernatural: Gordon comes after the boys. But more importantly, Mercedes McNab plays a vampire. Gee, I wonder if there will be any meta references to Buffy, the Vampire Slayer.
-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of the CW)