In this episode of Secrets and Wives, “Sue’s the Boss?” Susan has to deal with the fallout of Jonathan’s inappropriate behavior, Cori and Sandy try to work out the kinks in their marriage on the eve of their big anniversary party and Amy continues to defend Arthur.
The ladies are still buzzing about Jonathan sticking his thumb up Liza’s ass. Cori tells Gail that if he had done that to her, she’d have kicked him so hard in the balls, emergency medical intervention would have been necessary. Cori also reveals that after Jonathan violated Liza’s derriere, he pulled her close and said that he’s always loved Liza.
Secrets and Wives Recap: Jonathan Can’t Keep His Hands to Himself >>>
Susan Defends Jonathan, Again
In another part of town, Andi, whose only purpose for being on the show is to be a shit stirrer, meets up with Susan for some shopping. I really hope that after seeing herself on TV, Susan ditches that shade of purple lipstick that makes her look like an extra in a Tim Burton film.
Andi brings up the “thumb up the ass” incident, and Susan shrugs it off as Jonathan being funny. She didn’t find it so funny in the previous episode, and Jonathan told her that Liza backed into his finger. Now, Susan admits Jonathan did it on purpose, and she thought it was funny. Susan thinks inserting a digit in someone’s rectum is a great way to loosen things up at a kid’s party.
These ladies love to offer unsolicited advice, so Cori and Liza meet Susan for dinner to point out how much of an asshole Jonathan can be, particularly in social situations. Jonathan’s naughty behavior has the potential to affect Susan’s relationship with the girls. In other words, they want her to stop defending Jonathan and start disciplining him.
Susan is willing to take the good with the bad. Yes, Jonathan can display questionable behavior and Susan hates it, but he’s got some many fantastic qualities that she’s willing to endure a certain level of BS. The problem is, the other women aren’t. Realizing that she could find herself permanently on the outs with her friends if she doesn’t act fast, Susan tells Cori and Liza she’s going to talk to her hubby.
Wedded Bliss or Something Amiss?
Cori and Sandy are planning a big anniversary party. The timing may not be the best since Cori is still upset about the questionable text that Sandy received from another woman. Cori is determined to deal with it in a way that is beneficial to their relationship, so she’s really pushing the idea of marriage counseling just to give their relationship a tune-up.
Sandy and Cori seek the help of a professional therapist, Fran, to try and put Cori’s mind at ease regarding the stability of their marriage. Cori speaks about the “provocative” text Sandy received, and Fran questions what makes Cori doubt Sandy’s assertion that there’s nothing shady going on. Cori says Sandy is flirtatious and she thinks this gives people the wrong idea.
Sandy doesn’t lend much credence to his wife’s concerns. He’s happy, and he’s just not interested in digging too much beneath the surface. Cori doesn’t feel heard or important, and Sandy says that if he wanted to go bang someone, the opportunities are there, but he’s content to keep it zipped up for Cori. What a sweet talker. Fran encourages Sandy to just remind Cori how special she is a bit more often. This should go a long way in eradicating Cori’s insecurities. Sandy gets wrangled into professing his undying devotion to Cori during their anniversary party.
Mixing Business with Pleasure
Speaking of sticking things up someone’s ass, Gail continues to shove her head up her husband’s posterior. He’s building a new office, and Gail is determined to be involved in any and every way possible. Gail want to have her own office in the new facility. She wants a place to cop a squat so she can keep an eye on her spouse, Dr. G. He’s willing to let her share some space with someone who actually works for him. Gail takes this as a slight. She thinks he devotes too much time to business and not enough for pleasure. I think Dr. G just foresees that having his wife following him around his office would be anything but pleasurable.
Susan Puts her Man in Check
Susan talks to Jonathan about his behavior. He can be temperamental, which we witnessed at Sandy and Cori’s dinner party. Susan tells him he makes her friends nervous with his unexpected outbursts. Jonathan swears that he’s all bark and no bite. Susan says his behavior is not just upsetting to her friends, but to her as well. She pleads with him to find a way to keep his abrasiveness in check. Jonathan promises to work on it.
The Amy/Arthur Saga Continues
These women have nothing going on in their lives but Botox and man trouble. We’re back to Amy and her up and down relationship with on-again fiance Arthur. Arthur’s moody and inconsistent. Amy tells Andi it will be smooth sailing for months, a fact Andi disputes, and then the romance is in the dumper again. Amy’s main problem is she bitches and complains about Arthur but doesn’t really have any interest or intention of ending the relationship. If she was smart, she’d keep her trap shut and stop giving her friends ammunition.
Amy also believes that Andi’s interest in Amy’s train wreck of a love life stems from Andi’s own failed relationships. Andi admits she’s a three-time loser when it comes to marriage, but if she’s learned one thing, it’s that people accept bad relationships out of fear.
Amy is hoping to drag Arthur to Cori and Sandy’s party so her friends can see just how effing happy they are.
Toasts and Tribulations
At Cori and Sandy’s party, all eyes are on Jonathan, but Sandy’s behavior isn’t above the board. He’s plastered early on, and when he sees Jonathan, Sandy asks the man how tight Liza’s butthole is. I mean, really?
Amy shows up with Arthur in tow. Everybody’s shocked to see the guy. It’s like he’s the North Shore version of the Yeti.
Cori confronts Jonathan about his comment to Liza about always loving her, and he explains that he’s known Liza since they were teenagers, and she’s taking the comment the wrong way. I get that. Jonathan loves Liza as a friend. I think Cori’s projecting her own insecurities. Jonathan says that he’s only had eyes for Susan since he was 15. Jonathan may have his faults, but he does genuinely seem devoted to his wife.
Cori gives an awkward speech, stressing how she and Sandy are going to stay together. She’s damn determined to make sure everyone knows how effing happily married they are. Maybe she’s sending a message to any ladies in the crowd who might have their sights set on her man. The way Cori acts, you’d think she was married to George Clooney. Beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder when it comes to these two.
Then Cori says it’s time for Sandy to say something to her. I mean, she’s relentless about getting him up in front of the crowd. Several of the ladies are mortified for Cori, and Sandy’s failure to step up to the plate.
Susan’s tickled because she has no doubt that Jonathan would have no trouble shouting from the rooftops about how much he adores her.
Maybe Cori won’t be so quick to go throwing stones when her house is so clearly made of glass.
The season 1 finale of Secrets and Wives airs Tuesday, July 21 at 10pm on Bravo.
(Image courtesy of Bravo)