Did you watch the RuPaul’s Drag Race grand finale last night? One of the things I love about the show is that whether you’ve watched every episode or none at all, the show is so visually ridiculous, with the hilarious soundbites to match, that — true to the drag queen spirit — if you’re not entertained when you tune in, you’re probably just dead. Sorry about being dead. For the rest of us though, Drag Race is delightful!
Every episode was spectacular this season, but last night’s finale was particularly visually arresting, from the queens’ freaky choreographer, to their dramatic music video outfits, to their final runway looks. So whether you watched the hour and just want to relive the magic, or you didn’t and just want to see what a full-body snuggie with high-heeled clogs looks like, venture on. It’s a Drag Race Ridiculousness Celebration!
Ru’s right-hand-woman Michelle Visage stops by to explain the final challenge. I believe the height of her hair is meant to symbolize the difficult climb ahead for the final three queens.
LOOK AT THEIR CHOREOGRAPHER! Oh my god. This is just him from the front. You think that’s merely a cut-off sweatshirt? Think again…
THERE IT IS! He’s wearing a FULL red cotton jumpsuit, AKA jammies. He is wearing JAMMIES. With high-heeled brown clog pump things. While teaching three drag queens how to move like Greek goddesses. While balancing what appears to be a baby groundhog on his head. My heart is singing.
Another look at my Halloween 2011 costume, and just another day at the office for Alexis Mateo and her greased up man servant.
Ru invited each of the final three for a chat over “dinner,” and this is what she served each of them: A single orange jellybean. (Or a Mexican diet pill?) So THAT’S how Ru stays so svelte!
These shirts are great. You can buy one too, you know!
Like a true Greek goddess, Ru forced her dolls to do free labor as their final challenge: Dance in her new music video, “Champion.” The smoke really added to the “high-end sorority hazing” feel of the whole thing!
Now the hideous outfit is complete.
And now your wondering about “What would Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” video look like starring drag queens?” can finally cease.
DRAG RACE PHYSICS! Above: Cause.
LITTLE KNOWN FACT: Alexis doesn’t need a sling for her arrows because she keeps them all in her GIGANTIC HAIR.
Raja’s final runway look is a little bit Cabaret, a little bit Chaplin and a whole lot of leg. Love.
For her final look, Manila gave us “what if Cruella de Vil was marrying Prince William this weekend?” realness.
Alexis, ever the showgirl, showed us what a jellyfish would look like in Vegas.
RuPaul, meanwhile, waged a three-way bigness war between her dress, her hair and her gigantic orange hair flower. Something about it just screams “Orange Julias Jubilee.”
The first to “sashay away,” Alexis gave the other girls fair (and weird) warning. The jig! It’s UP!
The final Lipsync for your LIFE! Who will win … ?
Oh NO, Raja! I’m sorry! Don’t be so sad, it’s OK, gurrrrl! … Oh, wait, that’s her winning face? Well. Uh. My bad.
That’s Manila’s “Resisting the urge to cut you with my diamond donuts” face.
The last thing Manila said was also the best thing Manila said: “Maybe Raja will die of old age and then I’ll get the crown.” Ha!
Until then, Raja reigns supreme as America’s Next Drag Superstar. And what a starry tiara she won! Doesn’t it make you wish Tyra gave her Top Model winners an actual crown? Condragulations, Raja. Now let the music PLAY!
Already missing Drag Race? You’re in luck: The reunion special airs next Monday at 10pm on LOGO. Have thoughts on the epic finale and this season’s winner? Comments, queens!
(Images courtesy of LOGO)