Previously on Rock of Love 2: Bret Michaels eliminated…nobody. Then Saturday Night Live did a killer parody of this show last night, with Peyton constantly begging for more face time. It was five kinds of awesome, down to the smallest details like replicating Kristy Joe’s blue dress.
Bret personally wakes the girls up, and then they get a note for today’s challenge, all about being a cowgirl. Catherine has done barrel riding all her life. That old lady is just full of surprises. At the farm, Bret introduces the special guest, Rodeo from season 1. I believe Rodeo and Peyton being in the same place at the same time destroys the space-time continuum.
The girls will be split into two teams and the competition is split into three parts: lassoing, barrel riding, and the big finale, getting four bandannas off greased pigs. Catherine and Ambre are the team captains. Catherine chooses Inna, Daisy and Peyton, Ambre picks Kristy Joe, Destiney and Jessica. Megan, once again odd girl out, gets to pick her team, and she goes for Catherine.
First up, Peyton and Jessica ride and rope, and after lassoing their hay bale steers, they try to get back on the horses, but they run away. Catherine barrel rides, naturally, and rocks it. Then it’s the fun pig wrestling, and Bret has never laughed so hard in his life. I’m with him. Daisy complains that the pigs must have gone to college, because they’re outsmarting her. She’s rivaling Megan for the honor of being the dumbest girl on this show.
It comes down to Inna and Jessica, and Jessica finally gets the last bandanna, becoming the MVP who gets the solo date, and leaving Catherine to beat herself up over the fact that now she is the only person in the house never to win a date with Bret.
The group date involves a trip to Opaque, a restaurant in complete darkness. That’s the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard. Kristy Joe makes out with Bret, but Ambre and Destiney keep talking, because they can’t see. That’s kind of funny. Kristy Joe and Destiney go to the bathroom, giving Ambre an opening to make out with Bret.
They get back to the mansion, and Bret needs to spend some more time with Kristy Joe. They spend the whole night together, making Daisy extremely jealous. The next morning, Catherine makes her own date, cooking Bret breakfast in bed. Megan is upset, because she’s old and ugly. I love that the young, dumb blondes are so threatened by the older, smarter brunettes. Catherine wakes Bret up and is a bit whiny about how much of a loser she is at challenges.
Jessica and Bret play paintball for their solo date. Then they team up against Big John, a former U.S. Marine. Sadly, he doesn’t snipe the crap out of them. Jessica steps it up, looking hot while getting down and dirty. That’s really all Bret wants: a tomboy in a supermodel’s body.
Every time Daisy talks, all I can think of is Tina Fey’s impression of her on SNL and how freaking accurate it was. It’s one of those things where the parody of Daisy seems more like her than the real Daisy.
Rock of Love 2 Elimination Time! Because of last week, two ladies are getting the heave-ho tonight. This is a tough decision, because there are no obvious choices to go home. It boils down to Catherine, Peyton and Inna, with only one pass. Inna gets it. Aw, no more “face time” for Peyton. And poor Catherine, she really never got a chance, and she’s kind of cool, but the biggest problem is that Bret doesn’t date women that are age appropriate.
On the next episode of Rock of Love 2: Two old ladies prepare the girls to do a USO show for veterans and active servicemen.
-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of VH1)