Sheree goes to have her hair done by Lawrence and I kind of wish there was a show all about Lawrence. Stunt Queen! As Sheree is getting big, sexy Diana Ross hair, The People Store talent agency calls and says they want Sheree. Because her audition for them was THAT good and THAT natural. And she’s THAT famous because of Real Housewives. But Sheree’s going to do “Child Support Man.” Everything’s coming up Sheree!

Kim is going to the studio to work on a routine for “The Ring Didn’t Mean a Thing” to open for Kandi. Did you know that Kim has danced for 16 years? That she’s a better dancer than she is a singer? Could you have guessed? Maybe she’s struggling with the routine because it’s more walking/pointing than it is dancing. She’s fine with the choreography but at the end of the day “Kim’s gonna do what Kim wants to do.”

Cynthia is working on her wedding invitations and Peter wants two. I don’t know why. The conversation soon turns to Peter’s beef with NeNe, or Cynthia’s phone relationship with NeNe. I can see both sides of the issue, but it’s not fair for Cynthia to be caught in the middle.

Dwight’s in the house (Phaedra’s house.) Double stunt queen! Phaedra actually seems a bit smarter and more chipper than we’ve seen her in the past. Dwight just lights her up like that, I guess. Naturally, Dwight tells Phaedra everything people are saying about her, and makes some stuff up, too. So Phaedra and Dwight hate on Kim and Cynthia a little bit and conclude everyone’s favorite reason to think people talk about them: jealousy.

RHOAdwighthat.jpgDon’t be jealous!

Sheree brings her scenes to Kandi so that they can rehearse together. Sheree is doing much better than her agency audition. Then Sheree and Kandi talk about the real child-support men in their lives. But sorry, Sheree, Kandi can’t see your play because she’s too busy being a star.

Kim’s burning fat with lasers. Just science! Sheree, Cynthia and NeNe will join Kim in this scientific expedition. But first, some wine! Is it okay to mix wine and lasers? As Kim changes into her bathing suit, Cynthia presents NeNe with the Friendship Contract. And a candle. I like Cynthia, and I love her intentions, but it was a little weird. Oh, Cynthia. Then everyone ate pizza and the lasers were like *sigh*.
RHOAlasers.jpgSheree’s play is on. Everyone, except Kim and Kandi, is going. There’s buzz about the “huge fight” between NeNe and Peter but I don’t think it was a big thing. The play goes on forever without Sheree in it. Phaedra’s texting, NeNe’s falling asleep, and Sheree is doing her vocal exercises (“red letter, yellow letter”). WHAT IS GOING ON IN THIS PLAY? As Sheree walks on stage to bow for her cameo she passes some people with face paint and all kinds of other craziness we didn’t even see.

After the play, in the lobby, Cynthia talked to Phaedra about her pregnancy (like a normal person) and Phaedra came at her like a crazy person. Phaedra is blaming Cynthia for things that Kim said but it’s crazy under the bridge. Then Peter and NeNe cleared things up like adults. They are “back in love.”

NeNe and Kim meet for wine and sadly, NeNe showed Kim the friendship contract. Upon further review, the contract was totally crazy and a little sad, but showing it to Kim is like throwing Cynthia to the wolves. NeNe might want to date a white guy and speaking of white guys–Kroy Bierman! Kim is just considering going on a date with him and we know where this is going!

(images courtesy of Bravo)

Carla Patton

Writer, BuddyTV

Originally from Seattle, Carla recently took a husband and moved to Austin, Texas, where she is finally using her television “problem” to her advantage. It’s sort of like Dexter, but boring and less murdering. Carla’s favorite shows include 30 RockThe Amazing RaceProject RunwayModern Family, anything with murder, and pretty much anything gross and weird (CSIThe BachelorToddlers & Tiaras, etc.). Favorite canceled shows include: Arrested DevelopmentVeronica Mars and Average Joe. In her spare time, Carla leads tours of downtown Austin on a Segway (don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it!), blogs about Netflix Instant, and visits elementary schools telling children they don’t need math to succeed (just kidding, stay in school, kids).