The new year is almost upon us. Have you figured out your New Year’s resolutions yet? If you need some inspiration (or just a distraction), why not think of some for your favorite TV characters? Let’s be honest, our good friends on our television screens have been far from perfect this year. There’s quite a few things Piper Chapman or even Theon Greyjoy could work on in 2016. Let this be a year for healing and moving forward. Take a look at some of the New Year’s resolutions we’ve come up with for our TV comrades.
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Jane Villanueva, Jane the Virgin
“I will choose between Michael and Rafael once and for all.”
I mean, enough with the back and forth already, Jane. You’re teasing both of these lovesick young men to no end. They go on and on proving to you that they’re the one for you, but you keep flip-flopping. End the madness.
Kate Beckett, Castle
“I will reunite with my husband.”
You know this is the right decision. You and Castle belong together and you could use his help now more than ever. Sure, getting some space seemed like the right thing to do for your mother’s case at the time, but it’s not working out. Don’t cut him short.
Annalise Keating, How to Get Away with Murder
“I will tell Wes the truth about his mother.”
Are you his real mother, Annalise!? If not, how did she die? Were you responsible in some way? Was this another side effect of covering up one of your other murders? Tell Wes the truth, just once.
Piper Chapman, Orange Is the New Black
“I will trust no bitch.”
You got real cold-blooded this season, Chapman. Just when we thought we had you pegged, things took an even crazier turn. You’ve always been selfish and that doesn’t look like it’ll ever change. From manipulating Alex back into the system just so you weren’t alone, to then cheating on her with Stella, to then betraying Stella to build your empire. You’re a regular Walter-White-in-prison. At this point, you might as well embrace it. Let 2016 be the year you accept that you’re only in it for yourself.
Theon Greyjoy, Game of Thrones
“I will have my revenge against Ramsay Bolton.”
Let’s be real, things have gotten incredibly horrific for you. You’ve gone through more than anyone ever should in 10 lifetimes, but somehow, you’re still ticking. I don’t think there’s a person in the world who would want to trade places with you. That being said, you finally made it out of the clutches of the Bolton family and freed Sansa in the process. Now there’s time to plot. Be tactical. Figure out how you can stick it all back to Ramsay for the long periods of torture.
Emma Swan, Once Upon a Time
“I will save Hook from the Underworld.”
You made some pretty (for lack of a better word) dark decisions while you were the Dark One. Some things you did were pretty unforgivable, including turning Hook into everything he hated the most instead of just letting him die. You definitely owe him. You’re off to a good start by rounding up your friends to come with you to rescue you in the Underworld, now follow through.
Charlotte DiLaurentis, Pretty Little Liars
“I will leave my sister and her friends alone.”
Yes, you’re story was sad, Charlotte and somehow you made us feel really bad for you this year. But that doesn’t change the fact that you’ve done some twisted things to Alison, Aria, Hanna, Emily, Spencer and even Mona. If the girls come back to town to testify towards your rehabilitation, please prove it and live a separate life that doesn’t involve your unhealthy obsession with them.
Do you have any more resolutions for TV characters? List them in the comments below!
(Images courtesy of The CW, ABC, Netflix and HBO)
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV