Oh man I love Las Vegas week. In any given show, I love Vegas week, but especially the America’s Got Talent Vegas week. We’ve cut through most of the crap, and we get to see people step up their respective games. And tonight: DANGER ACTS!

There’s only 17 remaining spots to compete in the endless semi-finals, and it’s time for the standby acts. First: magicians! And the magicians will drop things and make fun of each other backstage, which might be the best thing to come out of all this. The magician who won his place in Vegas by folding up a lady is next to perform. The peanut gallery of other magicians on standby agree that they have never seen what he’s doing before (a floating box with his folded up lady in it!).

But are you more impressed by that bald guy spinning a box and then doing some gymnastics? Apparently the trick went horribly, horribly wrong from beginning to end. but we like when magic goes wrong, too, don’t we? The bald magician blamed his girls, which was the classy thing to do.

If it makes you feel any better, the child acts are having a good time? The little dancer named Tanner is up first, and has a few more tricks than just pointing to his pelvic thrusts to “Boom Boom Pow.” Calico Hearts, the little girl singing group performed “It’s Your Thing.” I wish I was that good at something when I was their age. The other kid acts were good, too, though. Some more than others–namely Anna Grayson, who just killed it and wasn’t annoying at all.

Yes, finally. Danger acts! A guy read a book made out of fire, then ate some fire and spat it out. That one kid was exempt from the “child acts” category because he works with fire. The Russian Bar act also added flames, which made it even more exciting.

Less exciting, to me, was the motorcycle duo, who missed a few of their jumps, but made more of the important ones, like the ones where someone’s life was at stake. I don’t know, maybe you had to be there.

In the dance category, that sexy girl dance group was the best of the large dance groups, and they added fire to their act, AS YA DO IN LAS VEGAS. But come on, is anything better than Sam B?! Only the cat magician. Is Sam B an act? I don’t know, but I also don’t care.

Next up: the novelty acts. You know, stuff like Leonid the Magnificent and other things that make you go, “hmm.” Apparently the whole quick change gimmick was a one off, and now he’s … dancing? And wearing wings? Leonid’s just doing Leonid. To “Karma Chameleon.”

The juggler/plate spinner was awesome. The big muscular guy made it through to Las Vegas? Oh nevermind, let’s just watch cool yo-yo tricks and old men standing on their heads. Is it an act? Is it anything? The best part was when the headstand guy’s phone went off in the middle of the performance.

The final category is male singers, which can be a bit of a snooze. Things went as expected, until we got to Mauricio, who should probably have been a novelty act. Oh, but if he was a novelty act then someone would have to let him in in on the joke, wouldn’t they? At least we get to see Daniel Joseph Baker, who is both entertaining AND talented, again. Even Mauricio was impressed.

Judgment in Las Vegas has come to a close. Who will get the remaining 17 spots? Nick Cannon tells us it’s “intense.” How many child acts can they afford to put through? Little girl singers? Is there room for Sam B AND Mauricio? As long as Daniel Joseph Baker and a novelty act or two are through I’m happy.

Through to the semi-finals are the Russian Bar group, the motorcycle stunt guys, Calico Heart, the little boys who rap about school and stuff, Anna Grayson, the other young girl singer, bald magician, and lady-folder magician. The funny juggler and the yo-yo guy made it through, along with Sam B (yes!). Both large dance groups made it through, followed by a couple male vocalists, and Daniel Joseph Baker and Mauricio. Why Mauricio? Maybe you had to be there.

Notably absent from the semi-finals are Tanner the young dancer, the fire spinner, and some child ballroom dancers (despite Piers’s protests, I’m sure). Leonid the Magnificent did not make it, and pretty much exploded. The headstand duo will have to call that person back and tell them they’re not going through. But they will be able to take calls now, so that’s good.

Next week the viewers get to vote! Who are your early favorites? Will the groups of 12 be as stacked as they were last season?

(image courtesy of NBC)

Carla Patton

Writer, BuddyTV

Originally from Seattle, Carla recently took a husband and moved to Austin, Texas, where she is finally using her television “problem” to her advantage. It’s sort of like Dexter, but boring and less murdering. Carla’s favorite shows include 30 RockThe Amazing RaceProject RunwayModern Family, anything with murder, and pretty much anything gross and weird (CSIThe BachelorToddlers & Tiaras, etc.). Favorite canceled shows include: Arrested DevelopmentVeronica Mars and Average Joe. In her spare time, Carla leads tours of downtown Austin on a Segway (don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it!), blogs about Netflix Instant, and visits elementary schools telling children they don’t need math to succeed (just kidding, stay in school, kids).