In just over two years, Jake Pavelka went from being a no-name, hokey commercial airline pilot to being a reality TV pond-jumper and sh*t-stirrer of the trashiest sort. But that isn’t keeping him from talking like the transition never happened!

He wouldn’t take no for an answer on The Bachelorette, and returned to stir up drama, shed crocodile tears over a balcony and get more airtime. This display helped him land his gig as The Bachelor, a role at which he excelled, for all his cheesy charms, until an awkward (in every sense of the word) stint on Dancing with the Stars followed by an explosive breakup interview with his ex-fiance Vienna on national TV caused his precarious star to plummet, and the word “psycho” to be frequently associated with his name. At one point, he spilled the details of their (non-)sex life to a tabloid. This summer, Jake is back on two competition reality shows that are themselves competing to appeal to the lowest common denominator: Famous Food, VH1’s vision for what the 8th circle of celebrity hell would like if they served fries there, and Bachelor Pad season 2, which will again include classy element like a kissing contest, and a game where the contestants literally throw eggs at whomever they find least attractive.

We review all of this information, of course, to set the stage for how hilariously hypocritical Jake’s comments to Zap2It were today. You see, Jake would love to be The Bachelor again (YOU DON’T SAY) but he claims he never begged for a second chance, Womack-style, because he’s worried that the experience would “celebrify” his relationship, and open him up to “haters.” This guy just doesn’t quit! Quoth the Pavelka:

“The only trouble is that the world has gone celebrity-crazy. If you do anything in Hollywood whatsoever, in no matter what capacity, you’re considered a celebrity. When you go through that journey with ‘The Bachelor,’ it ‘celebrifies’ the relationship, and you don’t yet have that foundation to stand on … so it puts the relationship under many different strains.”

Pavelka defines those challenges as “media and gossip and blogs and haters. It sure is a lot for a developing relationship to endure. I would never slam the door on an opportunity, but I would have to get with my family and seriously think about doing it again. If they asked me today, I would probably decline. Tomorrow, who knows?”

NO. No to Jake being The Bachelor today, tomorrow or ever. And no to him thinking he gets to be a trashy reality star and still act all holier-than-thou on the rest of us for saying that’s what he is. Pick a lane, “pilot” man.

You can catch Jake Pavelka working very hard to escape all that media/gossip/blog/hater attention and lower the “celebrification” in his life when Bachelor Pad premieres August 8 and Famous Food premieres this Sunday, July 10. Here he is with Heidi Montag, and below here he is with his shirt off alongside a bunch of other ex-Bachelor and Bachelorette contestants (including his ex-fiance and her new boyfriend!) because he takes himself and his career opportunities very seriously:

(Image courtesy of ABC)

Meghan Carlson

Senior Writer, BuddyTV

Meghan hails from Walla Walla, WA, the proud home of the world’s best sweet onions and Adam West, the original Batman. An avid grammarian and over-analyzer, you can usually find her thinking too hard about plot devices in favorites like The OfficeIt’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and How I Met Your Mother. In her spare time, Meghan enjoys drawing, shopping, trying to be funny (and often failing), and not understanding the whole Twilight thing. She’s got a BA in English and Studio Art from Whitman College, which makes her a professional arguer, daydreamer, and doodler.