Haven is back and weirder than ever! Seriously, after so many bizarre and dangerous Troubles in the first two seasons, the Haven season 3 premiere pretty much had to reach for the stars and take on an alien invasion.
Of course, this being Haven, it was a little more complicated than that.
Fight, Fight, Fight!
When we last saw Nathan and Duke, they looked about ready to kill each other over the disappearance of Audrey (and the sudden appearance of Duke’s death tattoo on Nathan’s arm). In this new season, they bloody up each other pretty well, bringing out the Troubles in both men: Nathan brags about not hurting while Duke absorbs some of Nathan’s blood to become a white-eyed temporary He-Man.
Fortunately for the men’s beautiful faces, another Trouble — extreme magnetism — intervenes and breaks up the fight.
Since Nathan is the police chief and a self-appointed champion of the Troubled, he has to go see what’s up. Since Duke is Duke, Duke tags along. It turns out that the magnetism was all over town, so now there are manhole covers in car hoods and such.
Dwight is there, of course, trying to convince people of gas leaks. But he takes time out to throw one of the manhole covers at Duke. Nathan, meanwhile, couldn’t care less about manhole covers or cover-ups or anything. He just wants to find Audrey. But alas, he must play cop — another woman has gone missing.
While Nathan (with Duke, who won’t go home) goes to investigate this, we get our first season 3 glimpse of Vince and Dave. They’re still pissed at each other. Then Vince gets a nosebleed. Perhaps this has something to do with the magnetism, but I suspect it’s more of a subtle clue to something we’ll come back to later this season.
Haven is cool that way.
The Truth Is… Probably Something Else
The Abducted-Woman-Who-Is-Not-Audrey was Rosaline Toomey, the owner of the Altair Bay Inn. Nathan and Duke question her son, Wesley, who we immediately know must be our Troubled Person. But Wesley doesn’t believe in the Troubles. He believes in aliens.
While we laugh at the idea of an alien abduction, Duke does rightly point out that weirder things happen in Haven almost daily.
None of this matters much to either Nathan or Duke though. They both just want to find Audrey. While they’re focusing on this, Wesley manages to leave the Inn without them noticing. Duke and Nathan suddenly realize they had a potential suspect and give chase.
Nathan Has Feelings For and From Audrey
This chase — like everything in the Haven season 3 premiere that is not how people feel about Audrey — doesn’t work out well. The truck and all electronics suddenly stop working all creepy-like (think Revolution), and then Nathan gets pulled into a crop circle by an unseen force.
Like you do.
At least this temporary delay allows Nathan to express his true feelings about Audrey to Duke. And we get a glimpse of the fact that Duke isn’t exactly past any feelings of his own for the mysterious lady. It’s kind of an odd switch in behavior — the normally stoic Nathan is falling apart, while uncontrolled Duke stands silently by.
But then the manly feelings end with the restarting of the truck.
Remember those aliens Wesley thought were invading? His story gains some credence when two UFOs crash to the ground. Nathan, Duke and Dwight combine efforts to subdue the diminutive Wesley outside of his home in an attempt to convince him that this is a Trouble, not an invasion.
Wesley doesn’t much believe it.
It is, however, a Trouble. The men find newspaper clippings all over Wesley’s house, each detailing an “alien” event. All but two have been recreated by Wesley’s Trouble — unfortunately, one of the unfinished events involves the leveling of a town.
That would be bad.
What About Audrey?
Speaking of bad, there’s Audrey. She’s having a rotten day.
Whoever kidnapped the girl tied her to a post in the Altair Bay Inn basement. The Mystery Man makes an appearance there, but he is hidden in the glare of a bright flashlight and could be just about anyone male.
At least we find out why Audrey was kidnapped: Mystery Man wants to find the Colorado Kid and knows Audrey was there with him back in the ’80s.
Wait — the Colorado Kid is alive? And Audrey/Lucy might have been in love with him? And some nasty Mystery Man was too? This is weird even by Haven standards!
Anyway, Audrey divulges nothing, mostly because she knows nothing. She gets a little more motivation when a voice calls out from elsewhere in the basement. That would be Rosaline Toomey, kidnapped as well because the Colorado Kid stayed at the Inn years before. Rosaline is pretty much useless, honestly. She gets hysterical and then gets killed by the Mystery Man (presumably) while Audrey listens.
This turns out to be what Audrey needs to escape. Using a broken piece of glass, Audrey cuts through her ropes and calls Nathan.
“The Troubles are a myth! This is science!”
Nathan, Duke and Wesley come back to the Inn and save Audrey from dark, creepy shadows. But they’re too late to save Rosaline — Mystery Man pushed her into a big fire. This scares Wesley even more and thus brings in the alien mother ship to level the town.
Even with both Audrey and Nathan trying to calm Wesley, he is unwilling to give up the alien-invasion fantasy. But before they all die and before Duke moves to kill Wesley to stop the Trouble, Nathan realizes that it all can end if Wesley willingly goes with the aliens.
So that happens. And they all lived happily ever after… Except Wesley. And Rosaline. And Duke, accused of preemptive murder thoughts and left out of the Audrey-Nathan love-fest.
The Colorado Kid
The Trouble mystery of the week solved, it’s time to get back to the Colorado Kid and his potential whereabouts. Vince knows where the grave is, so the group has some fun with exhumation. They pull out a heavy coffin, only to find it empty and weighted with bricks.
But that’s not the weirdest part. Written on the inside of the casket is a single sentence: “Find him before The Hunter.”
It’s in Audrey’s handwriting.
So is the Colorado Kid still alive? If so, where is he? Who is the kidnapper? Does Duke want to kill or date Audrey? What are Vince and Dave up to this season? Share your theories and opinions below!
(Images courtesy of Syfy)