Grey’s Anatomy starts with the Seattle skyline at night. I guess it’s all about nighttime and monsters tonight. We see flashes of scenes that I am presuming will end the episode.

Grey's Anatomy: Episode 5.9

But anyway, let’s start from the beginning. It’s the same night as it was in last week’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy. Izzie (Katherine Heigl) and Denny (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) just kissed, which is making her freak out and think she’s going crazy. Well, um, yeah, she kind of is. Denny suggests that they test her sanity by going all the way to home base, which they never got to do while he was alive. He takes his shirt off, as I swoon.

Cristina (Sandra Oh) goes to the hospital in the middle of the night because she heard that there might be a possible appendectomy. The first solo surgery is often an appy, so she’s just trying to get a leg up on the competition. It’s pouring out, in a very un-Seattle way. Seattle rains are usually very well-mannered. It’s more mist than rain, you know. But anyway, Cristina runs into Major McHottie (Kevin McKidd) outside the hospital who awkwardly tries to make small talk or, you know, at least acknowledge their major kiss from last week’s Grey’s Anatomy, but he can’t. Cristina doesn’t have time for his waffling and breezes right past him.

At home, Death and Die have an impromptu bonding session in the middle of the night because neither of them can sleep. Sadie hints that she is starting to like Lexie and might make her her new intern BFF. Of course, Meredith is jealous and doesn’t like the idea. Cristina pages Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) and Alex (Justin Chambers) about the possible appy, so everyone heads for the door. But, walking past Izzie’s room, they hear her making sex sounds, and everyone’s confused because Alex isn’t in there with her. (Although Alex is pretty amused to see that she’s flying solo.) When he tries to interrupt her fun, she doesn’t let him in, feigning illness.

At the hospital, Sadie warns the interns, who are in the middle of another underground practice session, that all the residents are in the hospital. Tonight’s meeting of the Life and Death Brigade involves giving an epidural to the little mop-headed intern. Unfortunately, they forget to put in a catheter, so Mop pees himself. Lexie (Chyler Leigh) suggests that they take out his appendix, but he draws the line at having a tube in his penis. Of course, Sadie volunteers to be the guinea pig as long as she gets to return the favor to another intern.

Meanwhile, the residents are busy with their patients. Alex’s patient came in abdominal cramps (but it’s not appendicitis, he’s disappointed to learn). The patient thinks she might have stomach cancer after reading up about it on the Interwebs, but her husband knows that she’s just a hypochondriac. Actually, what happened is that she thought she had a staph infection (even though it was probably just a pimple), so she took some super-duper strong anti-biotics she bought off the Interwebs, and succeeded in killing off all the healthy bacteria in her body. Alex gives her the bad news that she has to have a fecal transplant from her husband, which ewwww! But the husband won’t crap until she admits that her staph infection was really just a pimple. She can’t admit it because to her, her fears are true. Alex actually exhibits some human emotion and understanding and helps her husband see her perspective.

The other patient of the evening is a trauma patient who suffers from night terrors (just like Kirk from Gilmore Girls!), only this guy’s terrors aren’t funny. He sleepwalked and fell out of a plate-glass window. He has another night of terror in the ER, and it takes several doctors to hold him down. Callie (Sara Ramirez) gets hit in the nose, which is pretty much the cherry on the icing on the cake of her crappy, crappy year. Mark (Eric Dane) is pretty freaking awesome in this episode. He listens to her supportively while fixing up her nose, promising to always be her friend and sleep with her whenever she wants. Now that’s my kind of friendship.

Mark is awesome in other ways in this episode too. He notices that Night Terror Guy’s young daughter is utterly exhausted and hasn’t slept in ages. She has been staying up every night to lead her dad back to bed when he sleepwalks because she feels guilty that the stress from raising her is what caused the night terrors in the first place. The thing is, though, that her dad has epilepsy, which is causing the night terrors, which means that it’s not her fault at all.

During the surgery, he goes out to talk to the daughter, who is tossing back coffee. I kind of love Mark. He’s lascivious as all heck, but he’s showing some compassion. He’s really cute with the girl and offers his shoulder for her to take a nap on.

Mark also has some fun scenes with Derek (Patrick Dempsey), who keeps complaining nonstop that Meredith keeps bringing home strays to live in their house, like Sadie. Wait, but, Sadie is Meredith’s oldest friend. I hardly think she’s a “stray.” Anyway, Mark pretends to suddenly be interested in Little Grey because Derek planted the seeds of lust in him.

Throughout all of this, the interns are missing and not answering their pages. And of course, this is because they have Sadie, epiduraled up and ready to be de-appendixed. Lexie takes the lead with the surgery. Right before the scalpel incision, she stalls. She finally exhibits some sound judgment, but there’s no stopping Sadie, who makes the incision herself. (Obviously, they kept Sadie awake for this because that is the most logical thing to do.) Geez, this chick has a death wish or something. No wonder they call her Die. Lexie thinks that Sadie’s appendix looks a little bit inflamed. One of the interns freaks and runs the heck out of the room.

The residents line up the interns and chew them out. Alex makes a comment about how they’ll probably never earn his respect after this stunt. Izzie arrives just in time to hear one of them make a crack about her and LVAD-gate. Alex shoves the poor intern against the wall.

Bailey visits Callie who is recovering from her nose surgery. Bailey empathizes with the interns, though. She’s gone soft, I tell ya. She remembers when she was so excited about surgery, and now she’s on autopilot and she has lost all the joy in cutting people open and stitching them back up. She resents appendices because sometimes they come out and need to come out. She echoes everyone in America who is bored of their job. She’s tired and might need a new challenge. She might not be cut out for general surgery. Callie commiserates.

Meredith reams Sadie out for her terrible and reckless idea.

Cristina goes home and finds Major McHottie on her doorstep. He doesn’t know why he came, and he doesn’t want to come in or go anywhere else, so they just hang out on the front steps. He tells her that she’s beautiful.

Meredith comes home to find that Derek has brought Lexie home because Mark told him too. He’s making up a bed for her. He brought home a stray just like she does.

Izzie tells Alex that she’s a mess and apologizes. He says that he’s not going anywhere, so it’s her call. She joins him in bed, but looks guiltily back at Denny, who is also there for her.

Next week on Grey’s Anatomy, Cristina chooses who gets the first solo surgery!


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