Previously on Gossip Girl, Blair (Leighton Meester) dismissed Jenny (Taylor Momsen) for good for keeping secrets from her; Jenny found out that Ma Humphrey was having an affair and asked her to come back home; Vanessa (Jessica Szohr) came back to New York just in time to complicate Serena (Blake Lively) and Dan’s (Penn Badgley) relationship; Nate’s dad was charged with drug possession, fraud, and embezzlement; Nate (Chace Crawford) and Blair broke up; and Blair and Chuck Bass (Ed Westwick) did it in the back of his limo.
You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl.
Tonight’s Gossip Girl begins with Blair going to confession. She’s not even Catholic—Veronica Mars calls her a WASP princess—butt she confesses to the priest that not 20 minutes after breaking up with Nate, she gave up her virtue to Chuck Bass. She asks for penance appropriate for an Opus Dei member. She also asks for him to grant her a wish: to have Nate come back to her. She walks out of church only to find Chuck, wearing his trademark scarf, riding by in his limo. He reminds her how much he enjoyed removing her chastity belt in the back of that same limo, but she tells him that no one must know of it and that she’s going to fix things with Nate. It’s the day before her birthday, and Blair officially uninvites him to her party tonight.
Serena and Dan are making out at a cafe, when Vanessa, who is now working at the cafe, interrupts them. They make awkward, and she asks how the thing (read: the sex) went last night. Later, Serena confides in Blair about the awkwardness with Vanessa. Blair covers up the fact that she broke up with Nate.
Jenny comes home with mom Alison. Jenny perkily asks them to talk and make up. Rufus (Matthew Settle) makes passive-aggressive comments toward Alison about how loyal he is. Dan comes home from his breakfast date to find the Humphreys assembled at the breakfast table. He’s not very happy.
Eleanor is furious to find Dartmouth dad’s dirty laundry in the business section of the New York Times. She is panicky about what his charges will affect her company’s IPO, but Blair is only worried about how Dartmouth dad’s troubles are affecting Nate.
Nate’s mother was able to pony up the cool million to spring Dartmouth dad. Nate goes off to sulk by himself with his earphones on. His mother finds him and asks him to give Blair the Archibald family engagement ring as a birthday present in order to appease Eleanor. The Archibalds are putting all their eggs in Nate’s basket. He bows to their wishes and calls Blair to see about getting back together. Blair tries to play it cool and is excited when Nate seems to go along with her. Nate says he has a special birthday present for her as well. Blair thinks that it’s a diamond necklace that she had put on hold at the jewelry store for Nate to buy for her, but it’s the engagement ring. This means, obviously, that Chuck bought her the diamond necklace.
The pressure is too great for young Nate to handle, so he goes over to Chuck’s hotel suite to talk. He confides that his mother pressured him into giving Blair the engagement ring so that the Waldorf’s don’t back out of their business deal. Chuck advises him not to cave to his parents’ wishes.
Alison tries to talk to Dan, but he’s nothing but hostile and resentful toward her. He leaves and spends the day hanging out with Vanessa. They end up talking about how he wishes that she and Serena would get along better, so Vanessa invites herself over to Blair’s birthday party with him.
At the party, which is an awesome harajuku-themed shindig, Blair is unpleasantly surprised to discover that Chuck actually has feelings for her. He isn’t happy about it either, especially because of the foreign feeling of butterflies in his stomach. Blair adores all of God’s creatures and the metaphors that they inspire, but she insists to Chuck that those butterflies must be murdered. Serena is excited when Dan arrives at the party, but then is immediately dismayed to see that Vanessa is there also. Vanessa gets a cold welcome from Blair, Kati (Nan Zhang) and Isabel (Nicole Fiscella) as well.
Nate finally arrives at the party, and finds Jenny lurking outside. She apologizes for telling Blair about what happened at the masked ball. She’s hesitant to enter the party, since she’s currently on the Queen B’s blacklist. Nate asks her to go for a walk with him instead of going inside. This gives Chuck ample opportunity to stalk Blair. Chuck insinuates that Nate is only pretending to like her and is only using her for the sake of his dad’s business deal. Blair insists that Nate loves her and will call her; Chuck asks her to put her money where her mouth is. Veronica Mars snarks that betting on a Bass just might make her lose her shirt. And her pants.
Serena tries to make an effort to bond with Vanessa, and asks her to play Guitar Hero. Vanessa schools her, so Serena steps up her game with Freebird. But it looks like she’s only on the easy level, so what’s the big whoop? Thankfully, they cut out, like, 20 minutes of the song. Then, Vanessa lets slip that Dan’s mom is back, which upsets that Serena. She’s hurt that he told Vanessa, but didn’t think to tell her. Serena lays it on the table that she doesn’t want to be second to Vanessa in anything, and Dan promises to make it up to her.
Nate and Jenny are sitting on a stoop somewhere, spilling their guts to each other. He is actually having a good time with her, and I think this is a ‘ship I can get behind, although, I’m still holding my breath for Chuck and Nate. He hails a cab for her, and as they hug goodnight, one of Gossip Girl’s minions snaps a photo of them. Jenny’s face is not visible in the photo, however. At the party, Blair is devastated that midnight of her birthday came and went without even so much as a call from Nate. And then, to make matters worse, Gossip Girl immediately texts the photo of Nate and the Mystery Woman to Blair and everyone else at the party. Blair breaks down in front of everyone and admits that she and Nate broke up.
Alison tells Rufus that her whole adult life has been about him, even when he was on the road on tour for months, and now she needs him to try. He breaks down and tells her that he cares about her. Jenny comes home to find Rufus and Alison snuggling amidst a million lit candles. She goes to her room and smiles. Nate also goes home to his parents. He finally grows a pair and tells them to shove it, tossing the ring on the table.
The ice finally begins to thaw between Vanessa and Serena, which culminates in Guitar Hero one-upmanship.
Chuck attempts to salvage Blair’s ruined birthday party by giving her the diamond necklace that he bought for her. He puts it on around her neck, and offers his sincere sympathies for her breakup. Serena secretly sees them making out.
-Debbie Chang, BuddyTV Staff Writer
(Image courtesy of The CW)