After four hours of football, mostly lackluster Super Bowl commercials, a trip back in time to 2008 to watch the Black Eyed Peas perform during halftime (yawn) and a chili-induced food coma setting in, I was preparing myself for a Glee episode that would only appeal to the Super Bowl-watching masses — not to the show’s fans (yep, they’re still out there) — meaning little to no plot, back-to-back-to-back-to-back musical numbers, a few mentions of some girl-on-girl action, pyrotechnics, and absolutely no mention of our fave gay characters Kurt and Blaine or our least favorite homophobe Karofsky. So while it was still intentionally over the top, color me surprised that we got a little plot movement and character development in tonight’s special episode.
Quiz: Ten questions on the post-Super Bowl extravaganza
We kicked things off with a little Katy Perry and the Cheerios working on their pyrotechnic-rich, blue-wig-clad routine to “California Gurls,” which for the love of good taste I can’t help but sing along to.
Despite the girls’ best efforts, though, Sue isn’t feeling it and suggests that more silicone chicken cutlets stuffed into the girls bras might up the ante (wasn’t this the same Sue who was mad at Santana for getting implants?).
Meanwhile, during a huddle on the football field, Finn calls out Karofsky for calling everyone gay all the time even though he never seems to have a girlfriend (uh, Finn, aren’t you just doing what he does?). A ticked off Karofsky then throws the play and refuses to block for Finn.
Elsewhere, we find out that Sue seems to have lost her zest for life from turning into a legend too soon and is just trying to feel something, which leads her to get this awesomely misspelled tattoo:
She then buys a cannon. Yep.
There’s No I in Glee
The football team decides to take out some glee club rage on the one member they haven’t slushied yet, Artie, which leads to a Beiste-Schue powwow on bringing the crew all together. Schue comes up with a plan to have the football players join glee club for a week, which neither group is stoked about.
For some reason, Schue thinks having Rachel and Puck sing a little ditty they’ve been working on — a romantic ballad at that — will inspire the football team … but actually causes their first day together to erupt into a fight. Duh.
Elsewhere, Sue introduces the Cheerios to her Sue-clear (pronounced like nuclear) weapon, the cannon, which she wants to shoot Brittany out of.
“I don’t want to die yet,” Brittany says. “At least not till One Tree Hill gets cancelled.”
Frankly, I can’t blame Brittany, particularly after seeing photos from the next episode of OTH.
Principal Figgins gets word about the cannon and forbids Sue from the stunt without consent from the Cheerio who’ll be shot out of it. Sue then goes on a tirade of throwing things.
But unfortunately misses Schue.
She then has her Cheerios’ regionals moved to same night as the football team’s big championship game, which means no cheerleaders and no halftime show. Of course, the glee club — now with the football team as members — steps up to do the halftime show — a clever mash-up of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ “Heads Will Roll” and Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.”
After their first rehearsal, Schue pulls Karofsky aside to talk: “You’re actually really good. If you put that energy you used bullying people and put it into this, you’d be one of the most talented people in the school.”
Karofsky seems surprisingly inspired and touched, leading him to pull Finn aside to suggest a warm-up number to the big halftime show.
Sue meanwhile continues her devious plotting and tells the Cheerios to resign from glee. Cowering to her wishes, they tender their resignation to Schue, causing Finn to step up to Quinn’s cowardly decision, calling her weak — which leads to a fight between him and Sam (ah! Sam has a personality!), who thinks he could bring everyone together more effectively than Finn.
Later, the feel-good vibe of the football players joining glee is quelled by a slushie attack on the team from a bunch of mulleted hockey players, who also give Karofsky a taste of his own homophobic medicine. He and the rest of the new glee members/football players quit the club, getting them put off the football team by Beiste.
The team’s in a pickle, needing four more players to play in the championship game, so the glee girls — Tina, Rachel, Mercedes and Lauren (yep, she’s still around) — step up.
However, the plan for the girls to just lie down during every play doesn’t pan out, so during one fumbled play, Tina grabs the ball and runs for it! I had my heart set on her scoring, but she gets tackled, inspiring Finn to hand off QB duties to Sam while he goes to get the Cheerios back and bring the team back together.
Meanwhile, Puck does his pep-talking duty and gets the other football players to agree to perform the halftime show and rejoin the game in the second half — all except Karofsky — who ultimately is persuaded by the tunes and the amped crowd and joins the glee club and footballers on the field (guess Gloria Estefan was right).
Still in zombie makeup, the team takes the field for the second half and rallies. In the final 10 seconds, the team is down by three points, and in a fitting Hollywood-ending fashion, the team scores! Hooray!
Ah, but who didn’t score? Sue, who lost regionals and has been selected Loser of the Year, affording us this awesome Katie Couric cameo:
Elsewhere, we realize all that Karofsky character development was for naught, as he tells Finn he wants no part of glee club or setting things right with Kurt.
And, no, we may not have gotten our Blaine-Kurt kiss during this episode, but we did get one surprising lip lock:
Ahh!! What does it all mean?!? Stay tuned as I see a little clarity in our future on Tuesday night.
Lady Antebellum’s “Need You Now” sung by Rachel and Puck
I’m a big Puckleberry shipper, so I loved seeing these two duet. And their voices obviously love each other, so why can’t they? And Beiste mouthing the lyrics? So cute!
The Zombies’ “She’s Not There” sung by the glee boys and the football team
I dug Finn on lead here and really liked Karofsky in glee, but nothing particularly blew me away about this number.
Destiny’s Child’s “Bills, Bills, Bills” sung by the Warblers
Loved the song choice and the arrangement. And is it just me or do the Warblers seem to be loosening up in their performances? But the number seemed totally wedged into the episode.
The Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ “Heads Will Roll” and Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” mash-up sung by the glee club and football team
Yes, I’d already seen if before the episode aired, but absolutely loved it. Hands down, best performance of the night.
Discuss: Should Finn take Quinn back?
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(Images courtesy of FOX)