Ho-ho-OMG, Gleeks! It’s a very merry Glee-mas tonight. And if you’re not tearful and bursting with Christmas spirit after tonight’s episode “A Very Glee Christmas,” then I’m thinking you have a visit from Jiminy Cricket and three ghosts of Christmas in your very near future, Mr./Ms. Scrooge.
Now let’s get to Glee-capping …
The Glee club is trimming a tree and caroling, but the tree, ornaments and (empty) gift boxes were all pilfered — not very Christmas spirit-y, kids! So Will presents the idea of doing something to help others: The club is going to sing to raise money for homeless children.
Then we get the big news that really isn’t such a surprise: Our precious Brittany still believes in Santa Claus (does anyone else think the dichotomy or her being so innocent and childlike and yet being kind of slutty is sort of bizarre?).
Artie breaks the Santa news to the rest of the Glee club, asking them to go along with li’l Brittany. “Why wouldn’t you want to keep someone’s world magical for a little while longer?” he implores. So true, so beautiful.
So the gang accompanies Brittany and Artie to visit mall Santa, where Brittany asks for the one thing Santa — nor anyone else — can give her: Make Artie walk again. Sweet Brittany.
Elsewhere, Rachel tries in classic Rachel-centric fashion to get Finn to forgive her for hooking up with Puck. She gives him a certificate entitling him to a song chosen by her, sung to him. How … thoughtful. Thankfully, he’s as turned off by the gesture as I was, and she’s left to sing in her fake winter wonderland alone.
Meanwhile, the teachers have all drawn names for Secret Santa, and Will drew Sue.
Between a dog robot and a soul, I would pick dog robot — mainly because I’d like to know if it’s a robot that looks like a dog or a dog that looks like a robot. But instead he turns to Kurt for shopping advice (damn it, Kurt, now I’ll never know) and opts for a fur-hooded track suit. Then we learn that Sue fixed Secret Santa, and all of the teachers have drawn her. Boo, Sue.
A Beiste in Santa’s Clothing and Sue in Grinch’s Makeup
The Glee guys ask Coach Beiste to dress up as Santa and tell Brittany that she can’t make Artie walk this year. She’s resistant but finally agrees.
Also playing dress-up: Sue as the Grinch and Becky as a reindog. Irked by Will reclaiming all her gifts for the homeless children, Sue opts to reenact How the Grinch Stole Christmas (minus the best part where he makes his own clothes) by stealing all of the gifts for the homeless children and totally wrecking the Glee club’s Christmas tree, which actually seems incredibly cruel even for Sue — I mean, this is the same Sue that was just recently defending Kurt against being bullied. What gives?
After the club discovers the mess, Finn peps them all up, and he and Rachel go off in search of a new tree. Rachel still doesn’t get that Finn isn’t ready to make up, sings a Wham! duet with him and kisses him, forcing him to angrily proclaim, “I’m officially breaking up with you.” This might have made a new hole in the hearts of Finchel fans everywhere if we hadn’t already thought they officially broke up last week. I mean, didn’t they?
Still present-less and tree-less, the Glee club is “going all Gift of the Magi” to raise money for the homeless kids — the guys willing to sell their watches and the girls prepared to sell their hair — when Schue comes up with the idea of singing to the staff to raise money.
Now it’s time for Beiste’s role playing: My new most favorite Glee character ever dons Old Saint Nick’s suit and pays Brittany a visit at her house. But not before Brittany tucks in Ken and Barbie.
Beistey Claus sits Brittany down and tells her a story about a husky little girl that asked Santa to make her not stand out so much, but what Santa ended up giving her was patience (“Was her name Ricki Lake?”). Tears, goosebumps. I really love Beiste.
She told Brittany she wouldn’t be able to make Artie walk this year, which makes Brittany lose her Christmas spirit.
A deflated Brittany and a consoling Artie skip out on the Glee fundraising caroling to the staff. But a la the best scene in How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Sue hears their song and her heart grew three sizes that day.
Feeling the Christmas glow at having raised $210 for the homeless kids, the Glee club returns to the choir room to find Artie and Brittany — and Artie’s standing and walking with a transformer ReWalk (which is totally real, btw, check it out)! No one knows who bought it for him … pan to Beiste watching from the hallway and me bursting into tears. I love you, Coach Beiste!
Will then heads home to spend Christmas Eve alone and depressed — but finds that Sue has broken into his house, bringing with her a tree, the gifts she stole, the entire Glee club and a personal present: an electric razor to shave off the Chia Pet on his head.
The kids are trimming Schue’s tree, as Sue and Will look on and Finn and Rachel exchange a hopeful look. (Team Finchel!)
Merry Christmas to all and to all a Glee night!
Sigh. No more Glee till Feb. 6 after the Super Bowl. But first we’ve got tunes to review, and a lot of tunes there were!
“The Most Wonderful Day of the Year” sung by the Glee club
Just like the Misfit Toys in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, the Glee club is quite the motley crew. But together, they make sense, as did this little ditty, which was super-sweet and got the episode off on the right holiday foot.
“We Need a Little Christmas” sung by the Glee club
OK, I totally loved this song and was so bummed that it got cut short by a shoe being hurled at the club.
The Carpenters’ “Merry Christmas, Darling” sung by Rachel
This song was very Rachel, very much all about her. But she looked adorable in her red beret under the faux-snow and next to the faux trees. And her voice is obviously impeccable.
“Baby It’s Cold Outside” sung by Blaine and Kurt
Watching these two together is always adorable, but the whole bit was a little overacted — and I wasn’t feeling any chemistry between them. But their voices seem to like each other.
“You’re a Mean One, Sue the Grinch” sung by k.d. lang
Watching Sue destroy the choir room was hard on the eyes but k.d. lang’s (!) singing was easier on the ears, and yes, I dug the lyric change. But I totally thought it was Sue singing until a little Googling proved otherwise.
Wham!’s “Last Christmas” sung by Rachel and Finn
Confession: I love Wham! And I was actually singing along, so it’s hard to say how good Rachel and Finn were. But all three of our voices seemed to harmonize pretty well.
“Welcome Christmas” sung by the Glee club
Yay! This song was sung very much like a real glee club, without people getting to showboat individually.
(Images courtesy of FOX)
Discussion: What do you think makes a good Glee episode?