Previously on Dance Moms, Abby and Kira got into a huge fight that was full of fireworks (in the form of personal jabs, of course). The last time we saw Abby, she was trotting down the stairs, going nowhere fast. Since then, the aftermath has left the ALDC asking, “Where in the World is Abby Lee Miller?” (which is also the title of this episode).

I like to imagine she’s role-playing a real-life “choose your own adventure” game. Maybe she’s gone to Paris under the guise of being a tourist, when really she’s been charged with taking down terrorists in a Top Secret Mission. But we all know that’s probably not the case because with her luck, she would lose her passport before ever boarding the plane. In actuality, Abby is probably just cruising The Grove trying to scout kids to replace the dancers she already has. In the meantime, the show must go on.

Dance Moms Recap: Abby Faces Her Toughest Match Yet >>>

The Solos

It’s solo week! Nationals is only five weeks away, and it hasn’t been determined who will compete for the title. Five girls will get the chance to duke it out  and perform solos at Sheer Talent Competition. JoJo’s solo is bumped due to her working a job with Kids Bop the same weekend of the competition. Surprisingly, Kalani is still on the team and has a solo. It’s a contemporary number titled “Reign.” Mackenzie performs “Superstar,” an acrobatic number. Kendall is doing a jazz dance called “Welcome to My Life.” Nia gets a dark dance titled “House of Voodoo.” And, finally, Maddie is dancing to a lyrical piece called “Golden Girl.” **Insert eye roll here**

This is Kendall’s Week

Kendall’s single has dropped, and no one is really picking it up — except in Ireland, where “Wear Em Out” has gone to number one. Jill is talking with the other moms about how excited she is for Kendall. This only causes Holly to step in and let everyone know that Nia is working on a new single. Her choreographer/director, Mikey Minden, has set up a collaboration with Coco Jones and wants her to rap!

But Really It’s Nia’s Weeka, Eyebrows on Fleeka

Nia is rehearsing her solo when Shangela walks through the door. Shangela was the first drag queen Nia ever met. She is also the one who taught Nia how to do the death drop — now her signature move — way back when. Since Nia is moving towards becoming a rap artist, Holly has called in Shangela to give her some tips and confidence.

Shangela introduces herself as Laqueefa, her name when she wants to be fierce. She asks Nia what her name is, and she says her mom used to call her Chica Mica. It’s settled. The two begin a little freestyle session and come up with the lyrics, “They call me Chica Mica because my eyebrows are on Fleeka!” It’s cute and awesome to see Nia being confident and having fun. But I’m with the other moms on this one; did that session really need to take place at the dance studio during rehearsal time? Jill just sees it as Holly flaunting Nia’s success in her face and trying to one-up Kendall — again. This is supposed to be Kendall’s week!

An Anticlimactic Return

Kira and Kalani decide to come back to the studio. At any other time, this would have been edge-of-your-seat entertainment, but Abby is nowhere to be found! They get off easy and slide right back into place on the team without any drama. The moms seem annoyed that there isn’t any immediate backlash either. Jill thinks Kira should call Abby. Kira says she doesn’t want to talk to Abby, so Jill makes the call herself.

Abby immediately shady-buttons her. They ask Gia if she has talked to Abby, and she says she hasn’t. Melissa says that she hasn’t talked to Abby either, but she knows Abby went out with some friends. Jess doesn’t believe that Melissa hasn’t spoken to Abby. This causes Melissa to go off on a “Melissa tirade” and storm off, acting all offended that anyone dare question her integrity. 

The Competition

All of the girls perform well. Mackenzie stubs her toe in one little portion of her dance, but it’s not really noticeable except to Jill and Maddie. Jill points out the flaw to Melissa, who rolls her eyes. Mackenzie mentions the flub to Maddie backstage, and Maddie says, “I know. It was funny.” Then Maddie rushes on stage to perform “Golden Girl” where she’s literally a golden girl. She looks like an Academy Award — everything is painted gold.

And the results are in…

Junior Solo Division 

1st Place: Mackenzie

Pre-Teen Solo Category

3rd Place: Kendall

1st Place: Maddie

Teen Solo Category

2nd Place: Nia

1st Place: Kalani

Backstage, Melissa tells Maddie to call Abby and give her the news because Abby won’t answer anyone else’s phone call. Abby picks up on the first ring. Maddie lets her know it was a clean sweep, and Abby is just thrilled that Maddie is back on top. Jill becomes upset because Abby seems to only take Maddie’s calls. She is pissed because this week should have been about Kendall, and even in Abby’s absence the other moms should have supported her. It’s the same story, different day — or, should I say, same dance, different single. 

Next time on Dance Moms, it’s time for Kira and Kalani to face the music because Abby is back!

Dance Moms airs Tuesdays at 8pm on Lifetime.

(Image courtesy of Lifetime)

Casey Cummings

Contributing Writer, BuddyTV