One week ago today, James was evicted from the Big Brother house. Then he got to come back in, won HoH, put up two people who didn’t want him back, won PoV, and backdoored the man who lied about wanting him James back in the house. Overall, it was a good week for James, made even better by the fact that he prolongs the time he doesn’t know that we all know about his gay porn past. When he finally gets out of the house and realizes his secret is out, it’s going to be a hard pill to swallow.

Big Brother 9: Week 6 Live Eviction Results

Tonight, the ironically fabulous Julie Chen is back for the eviction of either Matt or Ryan. Seeing as how Big Brother‘s last two evictions didn’t fully take, I wonder if this week will be any different.

Oh God, the “previously on” package begins with James being evicted.  I guess it takes the computer technicians a couple of minutes to boot up Julie Chen’s hard drives.

Bow down, it’s Julie Chen!  She’s somehow both the best and worst reality host ever.  It’s Day 42.  Hey, that’s one of the Numbers on Lost.  I knew it, Julie is the Smoke Monster!

Julie takes a bit of glee in saying that Matt’s surprise nomination has reduced the tough guy roofer to tears.  Natalie is furious, and Matt looks so sad, already resigned to his eviction.

Natalie is crying too because of her deep feelings for Matt.  Matt confronts James later, and defends himself saying he’s not playing the game with Natalie, even though she thinks she’s playing with him.

Matt cries because he made a promise to mom that he’d win something.  The world’s smallest violin is playing for him, literally.  James doesn’t care.

Natalie cries on Matt’s shoulders, and he just wants to get away from her.  Matt thinks he looks like “a little bitch” because he’s crying on national TV.  No arguments here.

Adam gives Matt a pep talk to campaign hard.  Matt realizes he could have Natalie and Adam, so he goes on a crusade to get pity votes from the other women in the house.

Matt’s plan is to whine that if he goes, he’ll spend his birthday in sequester and he’s afraid of being alone.  Chelsia, Sharon and Sheila ain’t buying it.  He’s furious his charms aren’t working.

Then Matt goes off and starts making some sense, saying that Ryan has crossed and screwed all the women while he’s done nothing.  Sheila wants to switch her vote, so now she has to convince James to vote out Ryan in the event of a tie.

Sheila works hard revising history, suggesting the decision to nominate and backdoor James was all Ryan’s idea.  Um, sweetie, that was you.  James is starting to get confused.

Julie checks in with the HGs.  She calls James out on backing out of his deal with Natalie, who calls him a hypocrite.  She clues in Adam, Ryan and Matt to the nickname of “The Bible Bunch.”  Then she tells them Alex was in the mystery box last week.  They’re shocked that it’s Alex, and four claim they’d have voted to bring him back if they knew.

Now, we check in on Dick and Daniele Donato from Big Brother 8.  Ugh, don’t remind me of that crap.  Dick goes to meet Barry Manilow and other rock stars.  He’s really enjoying the pseudo-fame that comes with this.  It’s so sad and pathetic how he’s living out his rock star fantasies as a reality TV star.

He used the money to take Daniele to Europe.  They pretend to get along, but it’s kind of obvious they still don’t talk all that often and their relationship is essentially the same, but with a little more talking.  Daniele is no longer dating Nick.  Dick hates Sheila and Natalie for talking all the time.

Julie tells us Dick is returning to the Big Brother house next week.  He’s living out the longest 15 minutes ever.

Julie talks to the nominees before the live eviction.  Ryan claims he’s running out of fresh material for his eviction speeches.  That’s kinda funny.  Matt’s voice cracks as he begs everyone for votes.

Chelsia votes to evict…MATT.

Joshuah votes to evict…MATT.

Sharon votes to evict…MATT.

Natalie votes to evict…RYAN.

Adam votes to evict…RYAN.

Sheila votes t evict…RYAN.

A tie, how exciting!!!  Now it’s all up to James.  Man, he really did have all the power this week.

James votes to evict…MATT.

He doesn’t even make is dramatic, he just states it plainly.  Matt is gone.

While Matt is devastated with Julie, the HGs inside are freaked that the alarm will ring again.  Big Brother has trained them well.

Matt is surprised to go.  He says he’s surprised to go because James convicted the wrong guy.  How come no one brought up the fact that he lied about voting to bring James back last week, since that’s apparently the main reason he’s gone?  Matt says Natalie will be a great friend for life, but she’s not for him, romantically.

Natalie says in her confessional that Matt might be her soul mate.  Poor, naive, stupid girl.  He is the first member of the jury.

Now it’s time for the new HoH competition.  It’s a medieval battle called “En Garde.”  They compete one-on-one about things evicted HGs said in the confessional room.  If you  get it right, you’re opponent is out.  If no one buzzes, they’re both out.  The winner picks the next two to compete.

Random draw pits Joshuah and Chelsia up first.

Joshuah is out.  Chelsia pits Natalie against Sheila.

Natalie wins.  She pits Chelsia against Sharon.

Chelsia wins.  She pits Adam against Natalie.

Adam wins.  He pits Ryan against Chelsia.

Chelsia wins, and now it’s her against Adam.

Julie prefaces the final statement saying it’s a female evicted HG.  Adam buzzes in right away and just kind of guesses, getting it right.

Adam is the new HoH.  Half the house is happy, the other half – not so much.

Julie talks to Adam, and he’s ecstatic, except for nominating people.

Then Julie tells us Dick Donato will appear on Tuesday to give the HGs a special “wake up call.”

-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of BigBrotherCaps)