The drama is heating up on Big Brother 14. This Wednesday episode is jam-packed with scheming, alliance-building, backdooring and silly costumes. Yes, the unitard is back, and there’s also a dog costume. The game is just beginning for most of the HGs, but for Janelle, Florence and the Machine said it best: The dogs days are over. The dog days are done. The Silent Six are coming, so you better run.
After the Nominations
Wil threatens Danielle with eternal damnation in the most terrifying diary room session of all time. But then she cries and he cries and everything is better.
Frank, on the other hand, is frustrated about why he keeps getting nominated even though he’s not as big a threat as everyone thinks he is (he’s only won one of the seven competitions he’s played in).
Ian Wants a Home
Ian runs up to the HoH room to beg for an alliance, like a puppy desperately seeking to get adopted at the pound (foreshadowing!). Britney and Dan get him to officially announce his intention to sever ties with Boogie, sort of like a high school athlete formally announcing his college choice. Now that’s how you suck up to the power without being a flip-flopping floater.
Britney and Danielle HATE Janelle and get paranoid when Janelle starts talking to Frank. Dan is getting sick and tired of all this petty, emotional crap he has to put up with from these women because he’s trying to keep a coaches alliance safe as a possibility. Dan does his best to quash Britney and Danielle’s Janelle-bashing. Sorry, Dan, you may be one of the greatest players of all-time and an amazing coach, but even you can’t get women to stop being catty to one another. That’s like asking the tides to stop ebbing and flowing. I suspect this lady drama is going to be a recurring theme for Dan this season, because he HATES emotions in this game.
Play Ball for the Veto
Shane, Ian and Jenn get picked to play a baseball-themed competition where the HGs must throw balls into numbered boxes. There are also prizes that everyone can keep or steal as they get eliminated one-by-one. Danielle is distracted by Shane’s tight baseball pants. Oh sweetie, sometimes Danielle is SUCH a girl.
Shane is out first and wins the Power of Veto.
Wil is out second and wins a Veto Ticket. He trades it to Shane for the Power of Veto.
Jenn is out third and wins a vacation to Maui.
Ian is out fourth and wins a Dog’s Life, where he needs to sleep in a kennel and get walked on a leash for 24 hours.
Frank is out fifth and wins $5,000. He trades it to Wil for the Power of Veto.
Danielle is the last person standing and wins a Spirit-Tard. She trades it to Frank for the Power of Veto.
In the aftermath, Boogie is furious at his players. He’s angry that Ian volunteered to keep the Dog’s Life over a Maui vacation and he’s upset that Frank was dumb enough to give up $5,000 when it was obvious Danielle was just gonna take the PoV.
America’s Vote: Have-Not Food
Rice Cakes and Rutabagas
Candy Canes and Cod
Onions and Oat Bran
Finally, a vote where none of the choices are particularly great, though I imagine candy canes and cod will be well-received, and if the past is any indication, that’s what they’ll get.
The Quack Pack
Boogie thought he assembled a great team, but now Frank is in a cheerleader unitard and Ian is dressed like a dog. Frank takes the skintight purple lycra suit with a grain of salt, but Ian LOVES being a dog.
Later Ian the dog teams up with Dan, Danielle, Britney and Shane and pledges his loyalty to them, forming a solid five-person alliance. Despite the fact that he’s dressed like a dog, Ian dubs them the Quack Pack (remember when he had a duck on his head at the first nomination ceremony for no reason?). Everyone seems to love having Ian on their side, especially Dan, who sees Ian as a young version of himself.
Boogie vs. Janelle
Boogie’s wheels are in motion and he wants to get Danielle (or more specifically, Dan) to backdoor Janelle. Danielle supports it, especially when Boogie pitches an Avengers-style superhero alliance with him and Frank, Dan and Danielle and Britney and Shane.
Boogie also pushes it hard to Dan, but in the middle of their discussion Janelle and Britney interrupt to discuss the possibility of a coaches alliance. Janelle is cheerful about wanting to work with Boogie, but then he suggests that he’ll do it if they send Wil home this week instead of Frank.
Janelle balks and that’s when things get awesomely awkward. Boogie is 100 percent honest and straightforward, saying a coaches alliance won’t work if the other coaches are unwilling to sacrifice their own players. Janelle is left positively dumbfounded and speechless.
This is when Dan realizes that there will NEVER be an alliance with the four coaches. Boogie just drew a line in the sand and Dan is forced to choose between Boogie and Janelle. One just laid all of his cards on the table with complete transparency while the other just got tongue-tied by her inability to come up with a decent lie quickly enough.
This is a no-brainer, and the next thing we see is Dan promising Frank that he’s about to roll with two of the greatest players to ever win Big Brother.
The Silent Six
The Quack Pack meets up to vote on what to do. Ian has quickly become a very vocal part of this alliance, saying that he believes Frank and Boogie won’t nominate any of them, but Janelle would. Ian, Dan and Danielle vote to backdoor Janelle while Britney and Shane abstain (courteously, like New York in 1776). The resolution is passed! Ah, democracy in action, just like the Founding Fathers intended.
Later Dan, Danielle, Britney and Shane meet up with Frank and Boogie to form the Silent Six, their second alliance of the week. And Big Brother didn’t even bother to show the part where Wil, Jenn and Ashley formed their own, utterly useless alliance they call T*ts. That’s right, three fully-fledged alliances with their own secret names were formed this week.
So Danielle uses the Power of Veto, saves Wil and nominates Janelle. Britney does a pretty bad job of “acting” like she’s surprised. And Janelle seems more upset that she didn’t put on make-up and a cute outfit for the ceremony than she is about being nominated.
Tomorrow night Janelle or Frank will get evicted and a new HoH will be crowned.
(Image courtesy of CBS)